The Cockroach Cafe Mark 2 (general coping with oldies)

nota I am so sorry. I can’t add anything helpful- unless saying it would be an unsafe discharge, but in these strange times that’s hard. What support is there for him?
How can you look after yourself?
Vent away here- all we can do is listen. Sending 🌺🌺🍷🍷🍫🍫

I'm also intending on going to visit DM later, she would not understand if I didn't, plus she relies on my for so much.

In other news, some of you may remember me sharing my DS's mental health issues. Well I'm afraid I had him sectioned last week and he was a danger to himself and others. Unfortunately the unit he is on is allowing no visitors due to Corona. He hates me and blames me for betraying him, the only contact I've had with him since he has been in has been a string of abusive text messages. The unit are talking about releasing him tomorrow.

Fuck knows what is going to happen. I feel like I am in a really shit sci fi plot where too many things are being thrown into the mix.

jace I feel for you. I will be going to see dm as I’m effectively part of the carers team- just me and dh at home, we don’t work and have been social distancing for a while. She would go batty if no contact.
But everyone’s circumstances are different.

Jace, all I can say is that if I still had work and was going into central London, my mum would still want to see me. I take the point aboit mental health and I know it’s got to be balanced against public health but I can’t help thinking humans trying to battle the earth is a bit optimistic anyway.

You will be in a car, yes? I’m sure there’s MNers who’d say no way, but I’m not one of them.

Just rang DM (Alzheimer’s) she has no idea what day it is or if she has been out
Rather confused re Coronavirus but does know it’s Mother’s Day and wants to see me especially as she can’t even go to church
Self and DS are both feeling ok and have been home working most of week - I can go n pick her up - feed her and return her home
I am minimising risks?
Worried about her MH as much as physical

yolo wish I did, it would make it easier. She’s trying her best though.

sandwich yes, she’s has a garden but she’s paranoid about security which makes things interesting. If this goes on till summer I certainly couldn’t sit outside of an evening.

mere glad he got work. Tbh if I wasn’t staying with mum I’d have gone for supermarket work as I likely don’t have any other options next couple of months.

dint good news about your ds’s job. Good luck to your df coming up with the solution! Bless him- one way to cope.
rose very sensible attitude- does your dm have a garden? The garden centre told me yesterday there’s been a huge run on compost and seeds..... takings are up!
cockroach all

Will today’s announcements help your dsdint? No, I don't think they will. He says "...a grant to cover most of the wages of people who are not working but are furloughed and kept on payroll, rather than being laid off" - ie explicitly excluding those who have been laid off. And although he talks about backdating to March 1st, that's the money that's backdated, not the people who are included.

But - good news - he's got an interview today, and a job offer. Both are zero hours minimum wage, which is a step down from 20hrs guaranteed and a bit above minimum wage, but it's work.

Meanwhile the home tell me DF has retired to his room "to draw up a plan to deal with this Coronavirus".

autumn I think I've said it before, but you must have the patience of a saint!

sandwich I’m trying to take the view that there’s a war on, if that makes sense!

But she’s so pleased to have company, things like eating a different dinner at a different time would be impossible. That said, cooking for two makes more sense at such times.

I do think I’d have found it very hard to live in my small flat if a lockdown with local walks is imposed. Plus with pubs shut I reckon people will be out drinking in the street I live in - there’s 3 pubs and hardcore drinkers will congregate on nearby benches, I reckon.

Will today’s announcements help your dsdint?
How are you managing living with your mum rose ?
Spent a couple of hours with dm today which was plenty😉

When I had pneumonia I just felt dog tired and really light headed so I suppose it varies.

My mother has just made the following statements within a minute

“They’re going too far with all this”

“Why don’t they just shut everything with no warning? It’s for the good of the people”.

Mmmmkay.

Mere “ Or it may just be that it's better than the alternatives.”

I’m thinking that might be it, but also it probably depends on the type. I had a friend who had pleurisy and didn’t feel too bad!

My father had pneumonia earlier this year. Apart from coughing up quite a bit of phlegm each morning, it didn't seem to cause him any great discomfort. I've read that in the elderly it doesn't cause a lot of pain. Or it may just be that it's better than the alternatives.

It’s my own experience with pneumonia that puzzled me

Maybe it depends what form you get.

Yolo, they’d have neighbours who could do that surely?

me too autumn. It was mum's official cause of death, along with heart issues. Hers must have come on awfully quickly because her obs were normal an hour before.. and the heart issues - well she'd been tested for everything under the sun. We don't believe a bloody word.

So, on the one hand it was mum's 'friend', but everytime I read about pneumonia being a horrible way to die I hope that it wasnt like that for her.

Meanwhile PIL (almost 90 and 82) are not social distancing but 'winding down a little'. They'd better stay safe, because I'm not doing a 120 mile round trip to fetch some bread, and I dont want DH doing it either.

Yes. Are some kinds easier?

Once again this has made me wonder why pneumonia is called old man’s friend....!

I’m really worried too. Dm is 90s with dementia and lives alone 10 miles away. Very brief carer visits, lives off ready meals she buys daily. I can’t imagine what will happen if they stop. I am planning on still visiting if possible but have my own family with underlying health issues too.

Mere sorry to hear that

sandwich yes mum is a bit 😱 at not going out. I’ve told her I’m not imposing rules but will go along with her in terms of visits.

I’m actually at mum’s now. Most of my work is cancelled and I thought London would be locked down so arrived here on Tuesday. I thought she’d go nuts if we couldn’t see each other for 12 weeks and she thinks I’ll go nuts being with her for 12 weeks.

What can you do?

Hoping for more guidance today. Neighbour thinks visiting elderly parents who need shopping etc would be listed as essential.

dint I am so sorry- it is the collateral damage wreaking havoc everywhere. Sorry about your dd hairbrush but it’s good news the carers are giving you a break.
Took dm out in the car for an illicit non essential trip- but vital for her sanity and to prevent me committing a major crime.... she didn’t get out but we managed lunch in the car from our very helpful tea room.
Dd’s Last year at uni is in disarray- no info re exams/ assessments,/ assignments etc.... and her job offer may not happen.
Not life or death but life changing.
Stay safe mes amies

Good news - DS1 doesn't need to move out. Bad news - that's because he's been laid off.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Geek, that makes sense to me.

I’ve had a grab bag for 20 years, I just realised. We were discussing this at work and there’s a clear divide between the “but what for” group and the pessimists! 😂

My parents thought I was nuts till mum’s first near death!