The Cockroach Cafe Mark 2 (general coping with oldies)

Ooh, this is cathartic 😂

Might be time for a gin though.

Yolo, they are complicated and yes, my anger is probably stronger because of my jealousy.

I have long been jealous of you and sometimes baffled that you hang out here to listen to our sorry tales.

Ah got it! You mean I didn't feel that St Boris of Johnson deserved better treatment than any other person when he contracted Covid19?

Well, no, I didnt and I still dont.

I can quite understand that as PM (and of course other senior members of govt afflicted) get tested etc - meanwhile frontline health and careworkers cant get tested, dont have access to adequate PPE. Elderly people in care homes are effectively being written off it seems, with GPs telling the homes that they should ask residents to 'consider' where they would like to die, and indeed even saying the same to those who care for elderly at home.

Like I said, I have never been so relieve that DM died when she did because the thought of her trying to cope with all this is unbearable. As are the descriptions of death from pneumonia, from which she did actually die.

These are indeed complicated times dear.

autumn I am really sorry but I don't know what you mean - but you don't sound friendly?

yolo you just play dumb, dear. We live in complicated times.

er, what do you mean autumn? sorry if not getting it?

yolo hand hold for everyone who isn’t family or friends with Boris. Your generosity knows no bounds.

Just a little handhold across the ether for those who need it

PIL appear to be managing quite well, they are self-shielding and their cleaner has metamorphosised into shopper and gardener. Which is good as they live 60 miles away from us in one direction and SIL 60 miles in the other direction.

dint I agree about learning how lucky we are (some of us are).

yes, I guess I’m technically lucky with my parents, parent I should say

It’s hard to feel it though.

I’ve finally had sight of one of those “shielding” letters. It’s guidance. You can still go out for a walk for exercise.

One thing I've really learnt from this board is how lucky I am. First, it was that, however difficult it was to cope with Dad, other people were having it much worse. Now, how lucky we are in lockdown. Even though DH has one of the NHS "house arrest" letters, we're both people with good capacity to amuse ourselves, a house big enough that we can avoid each other for a lot of the day, and a decent sized garden.

As to the future, I'm just refusing to look at it.

Hi Sandwich
Don’t worry, I totally get that these things slip out.

I have to stay very quiet at the moment. As an introvert, I’m having fewer issues with this than most and I can’t say that. And I have no responsibility- no mum, no work. Amazing. The days fly by.

Anyhoo....no, I live in a rough area and yes there’s a park about 20 mins walk away, but to get to a nice green space that’s not full of dodgy people, I have to take a bus,which is not allowed.

This has made me think again, I’ve got to try and move to mum’s area, because it’s much nicer. I have said here that I can’t afford it and it would make my commute longer. But if prices drop a bit....I might end up with an even smaller flat (!) but could do things like store winter coats, books, even spare food, at her place. I wouldn’t have friends round in a smaller place, so could keep things like wine glasses etc at hers.

It’s quite weird, on a sunny day, to be thinking, shall I bother to leave the flat because it’s horrible walking round here anyway. That said, some days it’s been as quiet as when I moved in 20 years ago...but like many parts of outer London, it used to be nice, but now has a grimness that it’s unlikely to lose, sadly.

Sorry, that was long!

Sorry rose not tactful- how are you coping in lockdown. Is there somewhere you can walk?

Evening all. Calm here, hope you are all ok.
mere it must be hard for your dad and frustrating when he knows exactly what he wants. I have to bite my lip with dm who has strong views on the garden she is unable to access.
They do have so little control in their lives.
I am so glad we have a decent sized garden. It is keeping us all sane.

Mere, that sounds difficult. I totally see what you mean about control though.

Re gardening, I wish I had a garden normally, but never more so than now.

The cafe's very quiet at the moment! Unlike the gardening board which is deluged with new gardeners and getting 50+ posts a day.

Phone call from Dad at 11pm last night - at the moment his attempts to take control of his life are focussed on getting a piece of cardboard of exactly the right size to cover his table to absorb spills and allow him to write without getting the paper wet. I shall have to break it to him gently that we're unlikely to be able to get a piece of cardboard in to him. It's maddedning when he gets obseessed with small details that must be just right (he asked me to take a photo of the layout of his things on his table so he could show the carers how things should be) but makes sense once you realise how little control he now has over his life.

Good side is that he's still well, sounds cheerful, and is more coherent.

Rinse, that’s good.

Hope everyone’s okay and that elderly parents are okay too.

Thanks pickle and sandwich. Today we emailed letters to be kept in her file with a request that they are read to her should things deteriorate. Ten minutes later the staff FaceTimed us and DM is in great form, pointing at us and waving. In the circumstances we are very lucky.

rinse I am sorry. You must be so worried.
Hope everyone else is keeping on keeping on.....

Oh rinse! That's everyone's nightmare. Poor staff, poor residents and poor families.

Covid 19 confirmed in DM carehome Monday. Sadly, a resident died Wednesday. Really sorry for family who must be devastated. The staff will be really upset. Now get worried every time phone rings.

Pickle, I just said I was more concerned about being arrested. I also pointed out that in my circle, most people aren’t seeing their folks. Then I got her off the phone as fast as possible.

Just smile, sigh and repeat... 'it would be terribly irresponsible of me to go out for hours, using public transport, to get mum's shopping.'

Thank you dint, that's reassuring, hopefully we'll get that sorted soon.

DM is having to relearn how to make money transfers. DSis is doing the shopping, sometimes paying for it and keeping tabs, other times collecting DM's card and taking that (a bit of a long way round).

DM has form for not paying her way in situations where she really should.

I had a surreal conversation with one of mum’s friends, asking “why aren’t you shopping for your mother?”

This lady doesn’t have children and has it in her head that children do everything for you. She is also, apparently, angry because she thinks the the government haven’t imposed strict enough lockdown.

I politely reminded the lady that I don’t drive and that shopping for mum would involve a 2 hour journey on public transport.

She said “I know you don’t drive, but you should still be doing your mum’s shopping. The police won’t stop you doing that”.

Not sure what to say, really.

Mere sorry, I realised afterwards that was the case.

I was having a moment of complete stupidity there, sorry about that.

I would change it but also have something about your person that states it’s incorrect.

My transplant friend still doesn’t have a letter. You know how the average nhs worker has to log in to 15 systems each day etc, I think that bit has come into play big time.

www.livingmadeeasy.org.uk/kitchen%20and%20household/key-turners-and-key-accessories-p/single-key-turner-0102002-2189-information.htm

This says it's suitable for mortice (which was the term you were looking for) lock keys as well as Yale. Doesn't give many clues as to where it's available, but might give a starting point for your search.