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Elderly parents
Original poster

Concerns over brother as an executor of dad's will

39 replies

Winn1e · 07/12/2019 10:38

I have query about my eldest brother who had hardly supported and/or responded to numerous appointment and health update emails from the rest of his 4 siblings over the past few years re: our 93yo dad's cancer (multiple myeloma) treatment, but responds almost immediately when the issue of drawing up a will comes up.

NB. Our brother is a registered accountant, and wanted to make it clear in his recent correspondence that he would be prepared to act as an executor when it came to administering my dad's//parents joint will, (whilst making it clear that it was an onerous task that requires getting the finances right).

But given there have been tensions in the past between us as siblings, should we be concerned that he is offering to act as an executor, whilst also being a beneficiary of my parents (future) will? Is there any scope for fraud or underhand activity if he is left to record my parents financial assets, (as part of the probate process), and to then distribute those assets evenly amongst the beneficiaries named in the will?

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Original poster
Winn1e · 07/12/2019 11:32

Thanks Thegoodandbadlife, that seems like good advice. We only have the option of nominating 4 executors, among 5 children - but had considered having one of my other brother's wife being an executor, along with my sister and I, (and potentially having a solicitor as the 4th executor).

We will obviously have to discuss this delicately/sensitively as a family, and ultimately it will be up to my parents to decide. However, my mum is dead-set (at the moment) against paying for a solicitor to be one of the executors.

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Original poster
Winn1e · 07/12/2019 11:27

Thank you burnoutbabe for suggesting my parents keep a list of their accounts and account numbers. They have told me all they have is their house and bank accounts as personal assets.

I was a little cautious though when my brother sent us a link for gifting my parents home to their children, as a means of mum potentially avoiding future care bills once my dad dies.

I don't think it's as straightforward as this, as local authorities check against this when assessing peoples' assets. Also, if my brother were to have a proportion of the home signed over to him (effectively making my mum a tenant in her own home), then might this also be a potential issue for underhand motives?

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Thegoodandbadlife · 07/12/2019 11:27

From experience with family it’s always best to have an independent person (often the lawyer who wrote the will.). It avoids all family arguments and the money being used a weapon. Either that or have all siblings named plus one non related person such as a family friend.

Original poster
Winn1e · 07/12/2019 11:20

Thank you Temporaryanonymity, I'm sorry your brother also had this condition. My father is currently classes as 'end of life' as he has end-stage renal failure, and has to have regular blood transfusions to treat his anaemia.

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Original poster
Winn1e · 07/12/2019 11:16

Yes, my mum wanted my sister and I to support with their wishes/will. I'm also aware we can have up to 4 executors to act on my parents behalf re: their will.

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Tigerty · 07/12/2019 11:12

He wasn’t in the choices as executors, he’s not interested except where money is concerned and he’s part of the tension between siblings.

Sounds like the original choices for executors would be the best choice. He doesn’t get to stamp his feet (if he would do that) and insist just because of his career choice.

burnoutbabe · 07/12/2019 11:07

My parents will is 50/50 to me and sister and I think we're both executors but I imagine I will do it (as I'm an accountant) or at the least be the one who liases with a paid expert to do the more tricky parts and I do the dog work.
Just seems the best use of talents.if I am listing assets surely it'd also have back up support for each valuation. Which anyone else is welcome to check too.
I could hide a bank account from the list but then so could any other executor. I mean how would any external person know about a random online savings account someone may have?

Ask your parents to maybe make a list of accounts with account numbers so that is a starting point. No need for any values if they don't want to.
In fact everyone should try and do this sort of list and leave near their will.

Temporaryanonymity · 07/12/2019 11:02

My mother had multiple myeloma too. It’s a horrid disease, you have my sympathies.

Temporaryanonymity · 07/12/2019 11:01

You can have more than one executor. My brother and I were both named but I did all the work and he checked it all. It wasn’t a difficult job as the estate was straightforward but if it had been more complex I would have preferred to pay someone else to do it. The lawyer who held the will was very clear that it was a job I could do myself so I did.

No harm in suggesting that there be more than one executor.

Finfintytint · 07/12/2019 11:01

All siblings can be executors. There doesn’t have to be only one.

Original poster
Winn1e · 07/12/2019 10:55

I'm not saying my brother is necessarily a bad person - but I don't think it would be beyond him to shaft the rest of us siblings, if he could do it in a legal and underhand way,

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Original poster
Winn1e · 07/12/2019 10:52

No one has been named yet. The will has yet to be drawn up and my parents have yet to decide who will be their executors.

My brother wasn't initially one of their choices, and is telling the rest of us an outside/independent executor is unnecessary - whilst also saying he'd be prepared to be an executor.

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burnoutbabe · 07/12/2019 10:51

Surely as an actual accountant he had even more reason to act properly as if he acted dishonestly and was caught, he'd lose his professional accreditation and his job?

Mumof1andacat · 07/12/2019 10:41

Who has been named to act as the executor of the will? The persons will should have this on. The executor normally has to sign something to agree to be an executor