I have posted a couple of times about this, but I could do with more advice.
I am 48, work full time and have a 7yo DS. DH has just now started a new full-time job with a long commute. We are trying to adjust.
My mother is 87, she lives by herself in something like sheltered accommodation in a European city (3 hr flight)
My (half) brother is 66, is married, has two adult sons (who are married and have children) and has just retired. He lives in the same city as DM. In fact his house is 10-15min drive to hers.
DM was ill last week and was admitted to hospital. Nothing serious but she was in quite a bit of pain. She is back home now, but quite fragile. We have arranged for a nurse to go and see her 4x day to make sure she is taking her medicines etc. It was quite stressful at first but it seems to me under control now.
Similar situations have happened in the past. Short stays in hospital etc. Obviously DM is not getting any younger and every time it gets more difficult. I have always tried to travel to see her, either when she was admitted or to help her coming back home, or if that was not possible as soon as I could. This time I will not be there until the following weekend.
I have talked to my brother and by the end of the conversation he said to me 'you owe me one'
I can totally understand that he feels frustrated because almost everything falls on him, and he must be tired and even fed up with it all. He does not particularly have a good relation with DM which makes it more difficult.
I try to be as present as much as I can provided the circumstances. I look after anything that can be done from here. I understand that sometimes he'd like me to be there right then, but that's not always possible, I have other responsibilities, and if it is not an emergency I cannot just leave everything and go. Apart from bringing my mum to live with us, I am not sure what else I can do to make him less angry with me?