Elderly mother being exploited

This is absolutely dreadful, but I can absolutely see how it happens. Short term a stay with your sister sounds like a very good idea.

Could you put it to your mum that another bank would give better returns on her money and that you will organise the changeover?

I set up my mother for internet banking, even though she will never use it. The email address and mobile number linked to the account are mine, so if anything unusual happens I will be alerted. All her bills are on DD, and if she needs to pay a plumber or something I organise the payment. She has a dementia diagnosis and still functions very well day to day but gets very stressed by financial stuff. She also cannot tell the difference in 200/2000/20000 etc.

She now has learnt to tell everyone that her daughter looks after all that sort of thing, which is a huge relief.

I am in the process of setting up POA. I've done it online and it cost about £80. It just needed a couple of signatures from my mother and a witness signature ( I asked an accountant). Again, I didn't go into a huge explanation with her, ( she doesn't accept her diagnosis anyway) just said that as I was already looking after all her financial affairs then this was legalising it.

The other thing I've done is get myself appointed as her representative for anything to do with benefits and pensions. I can't remember the exact phase but the local DHSS office helped me. I applied for Attendance Allowance for her but it occurred to me that this was also open to exploitation, as anyone can do it and the person filling in the form can put any bank details where the money will be paid. ( just another thought for the neighbour?)

Please please raise a safeguarding concern for your mother. You can do this through your local council website. Please make it clear she has been a victim before and you are concerned about her capacity.

In my local authority they would visit her to get her view, check her capacity and if she is experiencing abuse complete some safety planning with her/the family.

One reason you're hitting a blank wall is the possibility that you are greedy family trying to protect your inheritance, and it's actually the neighbour doing the everyday caring who is the Good Person. It's difficult for police and social services to know who is the goodie in this situation. So vital to get as much objective evidence as possible.

If dm has dementia you need a poa before it progresses further.... and before the neighbour gets PoA.

You really need legal advice. There's a register of solicitors specialising in the elderly. sfe.legal/

I can't understand why the police wouldn't be interested in this woman, given they can investigate people for having money in that sort of situation (Proceeds of Crime Act, 2017.) She's so clearly stealing from your mum. I would go to the police again and ask for help.

what SeaToSki said above.
this sounds the most practical do-able advice.
you need to put a stop, or at least a restriction on what is happening asap.
you will need to make an appt with the bank to do all this, and with another one to set up new accounts.
ideally, could you sty overnight, even on sofa, the night before, to make sure neighbour does not get at mother and deter her from going with you to bank.
suggest make early apt for first bank. remember to take all poss ID docs for both of you. then after first appt tell mother let's have lunch out. do not return to house, ie keep away from neighbour, until all completed with transferring/setting up new accounts.
probably best not to mention neighbour to your mother; she has set her up to see you as interfering. don't try to convince mother of neighbour's bad faith, rather quietly steer her away from thoughts of her.
you and your sister spend as much time with mother as poss.
can your sister have her to stay, will mother go ? how about pretext that your sister needs help/support, doesn't like to ask herself, could mother go help her out for a while, as she's been a bit low, give moral support.
good luck.
I know from experience that theory/ legalities are one thing; reality is another. have to work around it, find ways, be adaptable, lateral thinking, learn from others. why not ask on gransnet too.

I really feel for you OP. An elderly relative of mine was 'befriended' by his next door neighbours in the last year of his life and they managed to persuade him to leave his house to them in his will. Nasty pieces of work. He was a really clever, classy person but he got taken in by them and they were rough and rude. They claimed to be his carer's. It still sticks in my throat now, years later.

It's a particularly nasty vile individual that takes advantage of a vulnerable person.

Can you get some legal advice? Also it's concerning that your relative is mentioning their temper. Can you set up a secret camera in the house?

I would go into the bank with your Mum and get her to close the account and take the money as a cheque paid to her. Then take your Mum to another bank and open two joint accounts with both of you on them, have one account restricted so that money can only be withdrawn with both of your signatures. Give your Mum the details to one account (call it the everyday account) and keep all the money in the other restricted account (call it the investment account, or something). Then get her to pay all her money into the investment account and set up a direct deposit into the everyday account that will just cover her everyday expenses. This way if anyone wants to try and access alot of her money, then you will be needed to sign off on a withdrawal from her investment account.
Then register with the credit checking agencies to be notified if anyone applies for credit in her name, so no-one can persuade her to take a loan out.

If dm has dementia you need a poa before it progresses further. Can you suggest she transfers the bulk of her balance into a secure account so she has less available to "lend".

I wonder if the Court of Protection might have some advice, you can always call them.

I think its an great idea if your sister could take mum In for a while if she can or have mum stay in a carehome for a few weeks, you can raise a cause for concern through her adult social services safeguarding team. I would definitely call her banks fraud line.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask your sister given how she's being severely exploited and taken advantage of where she is.

So sorry to hear this, what an awful situation. Sorry I can't offer any help.

I wonder if neighbour could be reported for benefit fraud since she has so much money coming in 🤔🤔

Can your mother live with you for now?

This is absolutely outrageous. Do you think a charity like Age UK might have some advice for you ?

I would gently suggest (when there has been no discussion of neighbours) how it would be a good idea to give you power of arttorny before her dementia gets worse.
Then you can stop this.

She will be able to sign a post forwarding form, or you do it online. Once you have her mail you can make an error in using her bank card so it is kept by the cash machine then new bank and pin is sent to you if she or you phone, as long as she is available to confirm she is happy for you to make call, you can assist her. Or at least this happens with a v deaf family member You can give her cash as she needs it.
Am not recommending this as a permanent solution but temporary to keep neighbour from taking more.
The bank staff rush to assist this family member (bank of Scotland) when shegoes to bank. I am amazed they are doing so little for your DM. But they know of her dementia. Docs did a Montreal test to assess dementia. They can be seen online - you can assess whether she might be able to get most questions right or not.
You could write to your MP with your concerns an interest from him/hermight suddenly wake up social services.