The Cockroach Cafe (the successor to the Shiny Thread)

Jace oh that's good he can leave hospital

nora hope you're all right today.

Got my print out - but it’s not good for evidence as there are entries that are incorrect eg drugs shown as given when they weren’t
Today’s staff blame yesterday’s agency staff who don’t understand the system
On a happier note DF is hopefully being discharged back to nursing home tomorrow 😊

jace you have done as much as you can today - enjoy ds, dcat and dtequila!

Thank you for hugs n general tlc - tonight I also have DS Dcat tequila and catch up tv!

The only reason he’s there is that they will not allow IV in nursing home - at least in nursing home he receives much better nursing care - hope I can get him back there soon

nora that's as good as it gets for today. Tomorrow, as Scarlett O'Hara once said, is another day. Time for another shagfest? Whatever gets you through the night!

Day got worse not DF but hospital incompetence in general - then they started lying to try and cover up - eg what time did you take his feed down? Told x time at which point I pointed out that blatantly wasn’t true as I was there an hour before that etc
Basically poor DF had no fluid, feed or meds today for at least 8 hours despite me nagging - them promising etc
I have documented as a concern - asked for print outs from their system by tomorrow and will then decide whether to complain again
Might even point out where they did not ‘learn the lessons’ that they promised after my last upheld complaint 9 months ago when they nearly killed him

nora 🍷🍷🍷that’s great that you managed it. Now breathe.
jace thinking of you.

It was hard today, but when we got there mum loved it... so far so good. But that could change tomorrow when she doesn't remember where she is or why.

I need to go back to her place to get more clothes. But that can wait a week or so.

jace big hugs to you and your DF and family (I know, complete random internet stranger!)

nora how's it gone today? hope you and mum are doing ok

I think DF is slightly better - no decisions made yet but they are willing to carry on treatment for now - review again tomorrow
I’m up at hospital again been here since 8 waiting to see Dr
Physio been
I’m getting frustrated at lack of attention to simple stuff like I have to remind them to give NSG feeds and water flushes - he’s now at least 4 hours behind on feed regime

Oh nora your post resonates so much

Big hugs to you.

nora today is the start of better things, for your mum and for you. It will be difficult to start with - change etc - but once she's settled I'm sure you will as if you are in clearer water.

jace hope things are as ok as poss.

sandwich - I'm not sure really! I want them to take responsibility for many many cock ups I think, admit them and put plans in place so they dont happen again. Not much then...

nora, you can do this. And once your dm is moved, others will be there to care for her. One step at a time. And use the help that is there.
jace how are things?
yolo glad you have a date- what do you want to happen as a result of your complaint? If you can be clear on that, it might help.

Nora best of luck today. You know you are doing the right thing, no matter how hard that is sometimes. I hope you are over the worst.

It's here, the day I move my mum. I'm sick with anxiety, about her, about my ability to manage her affairs, about me. I just feel so overwhelmed.

Thank you all x
DB is holding fort
I’m on duty from 8 tomorrow - so grateful have a flexible job - lovely support from my staff n those who I answer too (trustees of small charity)
I’m in bed with a drink watching interior design challenge on catch up!
Hugs to all x especially anyone who is struggling and more alone than me

nora 'for now' is a good thing, you and your mum have to just hang on until weds. once she is safe you can take a sigh of relief and the Brothers Grimm can go fuck themselves (technical terminology there).

jace I hope at least some of you can get some sleep, or if not sleep then at least a doze and a bit of rest.

we finally have a date for our complaint mtg - early Dec. DB will attend and take DM's ashes away with him (which is pretty fucking bizarre!) Not sure if he will stay over or do the trip there and back in a day. Now I need to try and work out exactly which are the most important elements of our complaint...

cockroach friends

vera yes, I think "for now" gets a lot of people through.

Glad you are feeling okay and that you have lots of support.

Mum's DH is moving to a nursing home tomorrow. Mum will move on weds. We've had to say it's "for now" it's the only way they can accept these moves. I'm totally gutted by how painful it's going to be for them, I've had my heart broken enough times to know what that kind of loss feels like.

Today has been a rollercoaster of emotions. I've been helped by a lovely OT who called me for an update and managed to get information for me because of her role. I've been supported by friends and family and despite being terrified of what's to come I've come to bed feeling light hearted. Let's hope it stays.

Sending hope and the unmumsnetty hugs to all the (((cockroaches))) out there dealing with the olds. It'll be us soon enough. It's set my mind to make plans.

Jace oh I see. Sorry if I made a leap there.

I hope he's feeling better and that you are also feeling better from your bug. No cockroach jokes!

Sorry if my earlier post was misleading - not against antibiotics at all DF was on them a few weeks ago for chest infection - problem was that last night they wanted him to have them intravenously for speedy response to what is now pneumonia and that meant moving DF to hospital from nursing home
We were worried that just getting him there would finish him off, also the appalling care he received in same hospital a few months ago nearly killed him
I made a formal complaint and received apology and they admitted where they had failed but it’s left me lacking in confidence to the point that self, DB and DC will not leave him in said hospital without one of us being there to make sure he is being looked after
The nursing home care has been excellent and they know him well plus he is in familiar surroundings - it’s also much less stressful for DM than hospital environment where we have to manage her too!!!

Jace I feel for you

You mentioned that there was a previous decision to avoid antibiotics

I'm all for avoiding everything for me, but avoiding antibiotics being on those lists has surprised me. I found pneumonia made me feel horrendous as a teen and then again as a young adult. I'm guessing that's why he has gone on them? Hope you don't mind me asking.

No real changes - still in side ward of A & E as no beds available
Trying not to make a nuisance of myself whilst trying to get DF care he needs eg they ordered him tablet meds when he is unable to swallow and has NSG tube! Saw consultant at 10am and 8 hours later still waiting for some of the stuff she requested to actually take place
DM dementia worse due to lack of sleep and stress - she needs constant watching as has got lost 3 times on way to or from toilet (which is 1 min away at another part of ward) on one occasion came back dripping with blood due to a graze on arm which she has no idea how it happened!
It’s not her fault but the constant questioning n repetition wants to make me scream - DB coming to take over after work n hope she can be persuaded to go home n get some sleep