The Cockroach Cafe (the successor to the Shiny Thread)

Good luck nora

Good luck today Nora. Maybe gift some laxative chocolates for the BG?

I am just off to take mum to see her DP and have birthday lunch with him. I'm going to collect some more of her clothes and nothing else and avoid (if possible) any contact with the Grimms. My lovely ex is coming with me for moral support. I dont think I'd have got through this weekend without him. Yesterday I was so uptight I called Admiral nurses again. They were brillant and so gentle with me, calmed me down from my tears and suggested I find someone to come along for support, hence ex coming too.

Fingers crossed it will go well. I will ask the nicer wife of the Grimms to get some pics of mum and DP so they have memories of the day too (Admiral suggestion- brilliant- I would not have thought of it).

Thank you everyone
Ended up calling into work for an hour - going out for coffee with DP and doing a few errands
Left him muttering in the shed! Took myself off for a bit of retail therapy (found a lovely dress in local charity shop) but didn’t lift my mood
Crying in car on way back - wish I knew why it’s always when I’m driving!!!
Now trying to think of something luscious for dinner without huge amounts of cooking

jace so sorry. Vent away
nota a 🥕???😮😮hope you are feeling better.

nota does he think you are Rudolph and Christmas has come early?!! Hope you are feeling better x

jace soaking in the bath is a good plan, also carving out some time for yourself, I would recommend more gin and a really good but crap book, pref while wearing headphones so you cant hear anyone else's problems, or the phone.

Sounds hard Jace. Any chance that you can carve out some time today to do something nice for yourself, even if it's just going for a walk (I think the forecast says no rain).

I came down with a lurgy yesterday on my day off. Took to my bed in the afternoon and slept until evening. I could hear the family moving around downstairs and hoped I was going to be brought a hot drink - DH then crept into the bedroom and offered me... a carrot. WTF?

Can’t talk to people in real life about how awful I feel

I’m now soaking in the bath contemplating what to do next

Feeling very low today not a good start to my only day off
DF nursing home rang whilst I was at work on Thursday to say he was quite unwell vomiting and not retaining even fluids and DM was upset
I got there as quickly as I could but she had gone and he was asleep
Not woken since
DM sent me a very sad little message and for once my heart went out to her
I feel guilty that we are not supporting her enough
I cried all the way home from work - got home to find DP at my house complete with huge tool box in my lounge grrrrrrr to tell me he’s out of work
I pulled myself together enough to feed everyone - then hit the gin and went to bed
This morning contacted DB and DM - I don’t want to make it too formal so it becomes a chore but we’ve decided we will each try n take her out for a meal once a week
I’ve enlisted DS next week and DD 2 weeks after as conversation better with 3 as DM can be hard work due to her Alzheimer’s

Thank God for SHLs! Well done Nora although I suspect that won't be the end of things with BG.

Great news nora

yay nora your SHL sounds really SH, I hope this gives yuou a boost? xx

I got the SHL today. She says that I am forbidden to give any large "gifts" as an attorney and so unless there is evidence that mums husband bought the property with the written understanding that it was a loan then there's feck all they can do about it. It's 50/50 on sale of all their properties as they are tenants in common. And said if the Grimms continue to bully or harrass me I should talk to a criminal lawyer.
Also said they cannot sell the property without my permission or force me to remove anything.

My heart goes out to you nota it really does feel as if we cannot do right for doing wrong. I have nothing useful to add apart from sympathy in ladlefuls.

nota huge hug and a large 🍷.
Take a step back.

nota just the most enormous hug - when you cant do right for doing wrong eh? xxx

monkey is it time for her to go into a home? Or have a live in carer or several carer visits?

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

Went because I am an idiot Autumn but also because I wanted to check it was ok with the milk (which went next door with the OJ). The milk that I had put in her freezer was sat defrosted and gone off in the sink.

Yes, she will have no problem with getting one of those bras on, it's just that it wasn't a traditional type.

monkey please don't hate me but why did you go tonight? Did she give the milk to NDN as well?

On a practical level, can she pull one of those bras on? Mum actually wants to try them but fears that bit will be too hard for her.

Skip past this if I have already bored you to tears with #bingate.

Today was the first day that DM got her milk delivered. I'd told her when I saw at the weekend. As an introductory freebie the milkman also delivered a pint of orange juice. This seemed to confuse/piss her off, so she got the carer to give it all to the NDN who she hates. She was very pleased to tell me all this when I arrived this evening. Sigh.

She'd wanted me to buy her some new bras as she reckons I ruined hers when I chuck them in the washing machine. I haven't had the time to get to a proper shop, so bought a soft one sized fits all type thing that you pull on from Asda in my lunch break. To say that she hated it would be an understatement.

Don't want to check my blood pressure this evening.

I’m glad it’s not just me who spends to cheer my situation
Whilst DF was in hospital recently I somehow managed to acquire a new watch, ring and bracelet!
Partly because I was expecting an insurance payout due to losing some jewellery on holiday - which went wrong because I spent it before I got the cheque and they have now changed offer to a voucher!
I’m madly eBaying to make up the difference!

"Basically I think the BG are going to turn out to be full of a load of hot air"

This.

nora your dm sure knows how to pick a man (and his sons).

Hoping to cheer you up - when I read your updates, I can't help picturing the grandma from 'Friday night dinner' and her horrible, horrible fiance.

Love Fascinating Aida! so glad you are feeling a bit better nora, I hope the swim did the trick and you are currently plotting evil, but totally legal, revenge on the Grimms. I think at this stage it is probably a question of holding your line? ie, your mum is safe, they have no real power now, and of course you want your mum to have what is hers and facilitate her seeing her husband (as far as is poss). Basically I think the BG are going to turn out to be full of a load of hot air...