The Cockroach Cafe (the successor to the Shiny Thread)

I did broach the subject of Xmas with DB but he’s not sure of plans and may be away
I’ve already booked to go out for a curry on Xmas day with DP and DS (before Dad died)
DP and DM do not get on - on both sides and she would not feel curry appropriate
DD has offered to have her along with her DPs family as a last resort
It’s only for the lunch bit - I don’t mind having DM either AM or after 4 when DP departs to other friends

Loving your cat @Grinchly
Reuben is doing his usual lovely hot water bottle routine

cockroach all round, and much love/support/virtual shoulder for those of you still at the coalface with the oldies. For some unknown reason I now appear to have PIL (89 and 80) plus SIL and her 2 adult perfect children coming for xmas. DD1 is hoping to be away in the Alps doing a ski season, interview and brexit permitting, and DD2 has announced she will be spending xmas night with her lovely boyf and family - which is fine, no issue, but means I will be stuck with 2 oldies fretting about driving to the b&b down the road, 2 very silent young adults and equally silent SIL. DH will no doubt feel the need to go to bed early, so I suspect I will be on here on xmas night!!

Grinchly* I typed a full reply and the cockroaches ate it

Sorry you’re having a hard time. I hope you find therapy helpful

Hello All, just poking my head round door, to say hi, haven't had chance to catch up. Cockroach to everyone.

My PoA woes continue ( see separate thread) but am looking into some therapy sessions to help me deal.

Emptying my mother's house is stirring up a lot of unresolved issues. I'm feeling a great sense of loss, anger and regret which in turn is bringing up other losses. Everything falls on me as rest of family have understandably gone low or no contact with her.

Anyway cat pic for the cat lovers.

Btw just thinking aloud

I saw on another thread that people mentioned finding it hard to hear about parents when theirs have gone

Recently someone I thought was a friend has pretty much vanished and I think now it might be that some of my conversation involves my mum. It’s not that I’m trying to bore people silly, it’s just that mum and I do stuff like watch films, go for a weekend lunch, she keeps me up to date with politics etc.

This is definitely a change since dad died, so naturally if someone asks what I did at the weekend, it will include mum now because that’s just how it is. I’m not neglecting this particular friend, she never wants to meet any more. I just wondered if that was why.

She is 18 months on from losing her mother but used to complain constantly about her in spite of not being in touch with her. So I might be way off base.

Then you get into - well, what’s okay to say to people and what’s not?

Oh a candle! That makes so much more sense.

nora glad you feel supported

Not getting hangovers must be amazing!

Glad to hear there are some positives happening for us all at the moment, and that Jace's cat doesn't have his own glass. I've done the DM visit for the weekend, and am now trying to find something that we can do with the DCs that avoids the bloody rain.

It’s actually a candle not a glass of milk!!
Head fine - I am very lucky and never get a hangover
Was up early with DP coffee n car boot - Had a cry whilst driving - always hits me then! he has gone home now to feed his kitties
I’m on way home to pick up DS to go suit shopping
Hope everyone has a peaceful day today

I took mum to see her dp. He's drifting towards coma, but was in a chair not bed. He's lost loads of weight, not eating etc.
I left them together and sat in the corridor. After 45 mins mum cam out and said she was ready to go home. She's accepted it's possibly the last time she'll see him.

We also went to the flat which the Grimms have tidied ready for sale. We took a load of clothes and bits and bobs. They are all still in my car because I need to label everything before they can go to the resi home. Labels should arrive tomorrow.

I've had a great weekend apart from the driving, my son came home, a lodger moved in, I had a date and I'm shattered now after far too much wine last night with son and lodger.
I'm feeling stronger because I've got people around me.

Started on gin but moved onto tequila How'd that work out for your head this morning Jace?

And did Dcat1 really have his own glass of milk on a coaster last night?

Lol @AutumnRose1
Cucumber presse sounds interesting
Started on gin but moved onto tequila again

Sadly just the 2 tonight!
We did try introducing DP pair to my 2 but the fur flew!

Dcat - the day we rehomed him when he was 6 months old

Jace, how many cats do you have in your home right now?

I can come over with gin....and a cucumber presse drink which goes nicely I find.

DP cats - grown up but still inseparable

X post
Ohhh they are so lovely.

Thanks Jace

He’s snacking on milk and choc tonight then 😁

DP pair of cuties

For the cat lovers

cockroach all- sorry to hear about the crap you lot are having to deal with.
Jace- retail therapy sounds a great plan, yolo too.
nota sorry it’s so tough- as rose said could carer take milk in? Sorry to hear your dd is finding it tough too.
nora hope you have got your protection in place.
yolo great to hear your dh is doing well- such a gruelling treatment
Things calmish here thank goodness.. for now..

I think jace and yolo might have been a bit shocked at my appearance at dad’s funeral! I did remember to wear a poppy though!

nota sorry if you’ve said before - why doesn’t the carer take milk?

Re the cough, if it’s a dry cough, I find Robitussin good but it has about a million contraindications so def check!

Urgent Milkgate update. DM's carer just phoned. DM is getting stressed about the milk that keeps arriving on the doorstep. I explained AGAIN that it's her milk, I've left notes, written the days it's due on the calendar. The sweet bloody irony is... she is out of milk. God only knows what her neighbours are making of her foisting the milk on them, or leaving it on their doorsteps.

Glad to hear your DH is doing well Yolo and your and Autumn's anniversaries passed ok.

Retail therapy sounds like a good move Jace - any cat pics for us this evening?

How are you doing Nora?

I went to Costco and bought myself a jumper for £3.79. I haven't tried it on yet, but I'm sure it will look like I bought it cheap from Costo. Ho hum. Still not fully over my lurgy-thing, which makes two weeks now. Things with DS extremely stressful still, and I have been doing a lot of crying (and coughing) recently. So snot central really.

Cockroach all.

no I get it jace, it's dressing for the occasion isnt it? so glad your DC are helping with the load, how is DM doing?
Mum's anniv passed fairly easily, DD1 got driving test on Monday and we've got her a car, so insisted that we drive to local town to indulge her retail therapy requirements!

DB left a phone msg to say was it the day? left one back to say yes, and spoke to him tonight. All as fine as it could be, given the previous turmoil, but our next thing is hosptal mtg on Dec6th, which clashes with DH next oncology mtg. dont think I can face 2 hospitals in one day! But DH is doing great, he has 21 days on chemo tabs, 7 days and then repeat. Just finished cycle 2 of 8, and we have booked David Gray concert tickets for Antwerp a couple of weeks after he finishes. For DH, this is kind of an abroad prerun, as we are going to Tuscany for 15 days in June (god son's wedding), and he is quite anxious about travel etc. - fair enough.