86 year old DM has lived alone for 30 years after being widowed.
Health is ok but gets very tired, no energy, has recently started Anitdepressants for low mood and anxiety. She has got according to medics Mild cognitive impairment .
To outsiders she lives in an immaculate house and keeps up a good appearance of coping. In reality she forgets how to do things eg use the microwave, the ability to put in her hearing aids . I am not sure if she showers regularly although she can do it on her own. She is becoming overwhelmed by "everything she has to do" eg make meals shop etc.
I have been worried about her and since January she has daily carers sometimes 2 hours a day or 1 hour a day. To check she is ok whilst I am at work.
We are getting a lot of panicky phone calls re not being able to do things and these are getting more frequent. What worries me know is that she has forgotten how to phone me and I am concerned there are more instances of here being stressed than she is letting on. During these periods she is unable to do basic tasks - dr does know about these as does a community nurse who visits but has now discharged Mum.
What is the next step. We have looked at care homes and she at times seems too competent to need this care but then on other occasions she needs support at all times of the day and night. She does not want to go to a care home but also realises she needs some more help.
The carers have helped but also bring other issues in that she wants to direct what they do but also finds this hard to manage - if I set tasks etc she does not agree with what I think needs doing!
I need a handbook for this - children and toddlers were a breeze compared to elderly parents 