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Elderly parents
Original poster

Anyone got tips for successfully convincing someone to stop driving?

37 replies

Regret2019 · 16/06/2019 14:45

She's always been a bad driver, slow reaction times, strange decisions. After an illness she had to stop, but shes better now and is keen to start driving the hour on A roads to where one of her non driving grandchildren lives.

The family are split - those of us who live in cities think she shouldn't drive again and that the £1000 on insurance alone every year equates to a lot of taxis. The country lot are far more relaxed about the elderly/unlicensed/over the limit ect driving

OP posts:
Original poster
Regret2019 · 17/06/2019 09:51

Oh Cptartapp, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I think part of what's making this difficult is wanting her to stop while she's still a bad driver, rather than clearly unsafe.

I'm interested in people's experiences with the DVLA - their website suggested that they couldn't do anything unless someone had a medical condition which seems wildly irresponsible to me.

Rosawaiting, It's mainly high because she isn't very savvy about finding deals without help. She's had the same insurers for ages and it took a leap when she turned 80.

ArtichokeArdvark - thats so funny. Annoyingly shes really good at maneuvering, she has the time to think it through

OP posts:
clairea123 · 16/06/2019 21:27

The only thing that worked with my GD was when his eyesight failed and the optician told him he could not continue to drive. It came as a great relief to me. I hadn’t realised you could report to dvla where there is no medical condition present. Worth knowing for future reference. Thank you for sharing!

JumpingFrogs · 16/06/2019 20:10

My husband reported his mother to the DVLA. They don't tell the elderly person who has reported them. They then have to jump through some hoops to continue driving.

cptartapp · 16/06/2019 20:01

My DM was killed in a head on collision by a pensioner who drifted into oncoming traffic. He killed two people. My Dm was 69. He has no memory of the incident, they suspect he lost concentration or fell asleep.
Please pursue, you can report to the DVLA. If you wait for the elderly person to come to their senses, you can wait forever.

ArtichokeAardvark · 16/06/2019 19:55

My lovely grandmother was like this - our solution was to ask her to see her gp. On arrival at the surgery, she smartly reversed into the doctors car. She was taken off the road instantly BlushWink

Hiphopopotamous · 16/06/2019 19:52

I'll just jump in as a GP and ask nicely that you don't ask the GP to assess her driving. It's not something that they will be able to help with since they don't see her drive and presumably she has no conditions that automatically exclude her. Best course of action is to report to the dvla if you have concerns and they can perform their own testing.

ruthieness · 16/06/2019 19:50

the problem is that older people lose their judgement without being aware that they have lost their judgement
and this means that they cant be "convinced".

Either refer to the GP who will be discrete about who "shopped" them

or

carefully consider if the car keys will go missing!

RosaWaiting · 16/06/2019 19:49

That insurance is very high, why's that?

AJPTaylor · 16/06/2019 19:45

You can report to the DVLA.

Original poster
Regret2019 · 16/06/2019 19:40

Good call, thanks

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 16/06/2019 18:32

I'd ask her g.p. to reassess her ability. Driving on country roads can be far more dangerous than city roads.

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