FiL wants DH to buy his house. How awful an idea is this?

Could your FiL look at equity release, he could use it to pay off any outstanding mortgage, assuming he can afford to live in the house if there is no mortgage.

Can you suggest your FIL ring Stepchange? They can advise if he's struggling with payments and also on equity release,etc.

FIL could nominate your DH to speak on his behalf if you think he'd struggle.

I think he needs to downsize. He’s making unreasonable demands on you and at the end of the day he got himself into this mess

It is really rare for there to be no life insurance with a mortgage.

Can FIL explain why there is not? Some lenders absolutely require it, others may be more liberal, but they'll all be talking about the need in terms of it being a necessity. So has he actually overlooked something?

It might also be worth looking into misselling- mortgages to pensioners are extremely rare to the point of never happening, for pretty obvious reasons.

If those are both blind alleys, then t is the simple questions n that you do not want to buy the house. If FIL needs more money in order to continue to outpace be there, then how much is his monthly shortfall. Because it might be better to just I've him the money, rather than muck around with the stress and risk of the hairbrained remortgate/purchase plan.

You of course get no sure-fire return on that spending in cash terms (if he has to pay care home fees, value of house could be wiped out), but your DH will have t what he sees as his filial duty.

As your FIL has hairbrained schemes, don't rule out that this is an attempt to divest himself of assets. If he sells a house and continues to live be in it, it might still count as 'his'. Which could mean you take in extra debt and still feel you have to sell something (ie 'his' house) to allow him to meet his obligations, whilst losing further chunks of its value to taxes and fees

If you were to extend your own mortgage to pay off his £80 mortgage, you could get a Deed of Tenancy (I think it's called) which states that you have invested in your FILs property 1/3 of it's value. Then if it's sold or your FIL dies, you get that 1/3 of the property value before the rest is split between inheritees. I did something similar with my late DM, as she was struggling for money. This was some years ago now so I suggest speaking to a solicitor to see if it's still an option.
Obviously, this assumes you can afford to up your own mortgage.

Can he buy £80k worth off fil for whatever the %age of the current value that makes.
Fil can then sort his will however he likes re the other sib.
Bear in mind that any will will o it cone into effect when fil passes and he may need care etc during his lifetime so fils share of the jointly owned house could be taken for care fees (but dhs share will be unable to be touched) so there is still no guarantee sib will get any inheritance.

He needs to look at a flat in a retirement village his equity should easily find one that he can afford and having got two grandparents who have made the move it’s definitely for the best

As pp has said, your DH needs to put his own family first. Putting financial pressure on a child is not the act of a loving parent. Neither of you should feel guilty about saying no. And I really think you should say no. FIL needs to downsize and live within his means, as the rest of us do.

he reason they won't hear of moving out of their large and unsuitable homes is is because they don't want to let go of this thing (the house) which enables them to control everyone That's a very cynical and unempathetic comment which is not backed up by anything the OP has said.

I don't understand. If your husband buys it, why would FIL get a fixed rate? He doesn't own the house anymore I'd dh buys so wouldn't need a fixed rate mortgage or am I missing something?

Has he looked at doing this via an Equity Release with mortgage approach ? I think it does what he wants but without you being involved. He needs to take proper advice before he signs up to this though, obviously your inheritance would be affected longer term.

the reason they won't hear of moving out of their large and unsuitable homes is is because they don't want to let go of this thing (the house) which enables them to control everyone
Once she establishes that it is her right to stay in the house that gives her grounds to insist that everyone spend all their time and energy enabling her.
This is a very difficult situation because it's hard to be tough with an 80 year old!

You must manoeuvre him into downsizing
If you don't you're making a rod for your own back, he will become more and more demanding and insist that you do everything humanly possible (no matter how it irrational or inconvenience to yourselves) to enable him to stay in that house
Get him to move into appropriate housing ASAP

I was wondering the same re having a mortgage in your 80's. My MIL is living in a large family home that is slowly falling apart. We would love her to downsize and maybe move closer to us but she won't hear of it. No mortgage though.

Why does he have a mortgage in his 80s ?
Surely this is bad planning

Not sure where you are OP but £150,000 would buy your FIL an independent one or two bedroom flat in a senior citizens complex in many parts of the country That shocked me, because the ones near us are around £250000 ... but yes, you're right, further into the city 1 bedroom flats retirement costs start at around £60000. But you have to look carefully at the on-going costs - both for maintenance and for access to the assisted living facilities, which can be quite eye-watering.

My DH was distraught at selling his individually designed house to move nearer us; it broke his heart that we didn't want to move into it. He'd always thought of it as a family home, to be passed down generation to generation. Despite throwing himself into local activities and making new friends, it took him a while to come to terms - over about 5 years he moved from complaints about the inadequacy of the local library to comments that "people are so helpful around here". And he admits he couldn't have continued to cope in his old house, with no bus service and steep hills to all facilities.

Good luck OP, hope it all gets sorted. And yep, something fun for us and our kids to look forward to in old age. :-)

I really don’t think your DH could do anything without involving his sibling. Even if they aren’t financially able to help some agreement needs to be had. It will cause an utter shit storm if you do something like this behind their backs. (Whatever it is you end up doing.)

Might he consider a retirement village? It's very different to an old people's home

Does DH have power of attorney for FIL? And could it be argued that FIL now lacks capacity to handle his own finances, given the bad investments etc? Because the simplest thing might be to consult a financial advisor with a view to taking over FIL’s affairs and making more sensible decisions on his behalf - which might involve selling and downsizing to a sheltered flat, or taking equity release on the house so FIL can stay there but have some cash to live on.

Not sure where you are OP but £150,000 would buy your FIL an independent one or two bedroom flat in a senior citizens complex in many parts of the country (not central London obviously). He keeps his independence but is in a supportive community.

Can you find put if there’s enough equity left for an equity release mortgage. This is essentially like selling part of the house to the bank who will take the money back when your FiL dies.