The new shiny 2019 thread for anyone caring for elderly parents

thank god for cats jace and dogs and wine and and and. That sounds like you had quite enough yesterday.

Thanks all
I sent email to DM surgery this morning and attached LPOA plus self and DB details (I’d already spoken to Dr and reception staff re this when I was there)
Bloods won’t be back for a week or so n will have to wait for scan too
DM is struggling with feeling unwell and getting anxious - which is making it worse but I don’t feel she needs A & E and have had to leave her to it
DB will have to be her go to tonight as quite frankly I’m in need of gin
I’ve had other bad news re work today which didn’t help
Visited DF who is stressing about DM through his own cognitive difficulties
Told sort of DP to take his depression and pity party elsewhere
I had had a pleasant evening planned with adult DC discussing holidays and upcoming events and celebrations obviously that went out of the window
At least the cat is warm cuddly and reassuring!

She won't/can't use a mobile, but hasn't been out on her own for nearly 2 years, so I didn't think it was an issue. God I hope this isn't the start of a wandering phase.

Thanks all x

Nota
So sorry, how about a GPS tracker?

jesus nota I dont know what to say? your poor mum and above all poor you xxx

I know, I've been gritting my teeth so hard I'm hurting my head!

Oh bloody hell nota!

I was supposed to be taking DM to a hospital check-up today, but DS was in a bad way and I couldn't leave him on his own at home, so decided to rearrange it for another day. DM's carer phones me at 6pm to say she wasn't at home, and no sign of her. I then drove over, and drove around til I found her sitting on a wall in a street. She'd decided to take herself to the hospital appointment, and got a bus home. But the bus stopped about a 20 minute walk from her house, so she decided to set off in the cold and dark. Two bloody hours later, I find her. She has no bloody idea how weak she is, and can't remember that she isn't well.

I saw an ad on my local FB for a care agency that does things like take them to hospital appointments, shopping, etc, so this will spur me on to change agency as the current one don't actually seem to do anything except check if she's home or not.

Oh gosh Jace I am sorry.

so sorry jace and second finding out if you can have access to the medical people.
DH 2nd radio today - he went on his own and says it was much better?! long may it bloody last is all I can say!!!

So sorry to read this Jace

Hope you get any diagnoses soon.

Jace See if your Mum will give permission for the surgery to speak to you, and, if your GP allows you on-line access to medical records, for you to access her records as well. It makes life a lot easier. You get to see a summary of all letters sent (eg "recall bloods"), and the detailed blood test results.

Jace, so sorry. Fingers crossed it is something treatable.

Possible liver disease
Possible cancer of liver
Referred for scan and more bloods
DM very confused today - but still passed memory test!

More worryingly DM told DB she went to Dr last week but no idea why! It’s not physical and they asked her to go
Then on Monday she rang saying she’d had a letter from them asking her to go in and discuss the results of her blood tests (which she doesn’t remember having)
She wanted me to go with her which is unusual and asked me to make appointment
I rang Tuesday n got an appointment for today which concerned me further as normally even when at deaths door there’s a long wait at her surgery - I’ve had to fight to get DF seen at all
Going this morning and expecting some kind of bad news - at least I can get her re referred to memory clinic whilst there!

Getting fed up of all the small bits n pieces
DF care home has managed to lose one hearing aid, the special cutlery we ordered for him and my nail clippers - that’s just this week so far!
Still no sign of tv remote or the 2 wool blankets plus so much clothing - everything gets labelled but still disappears
More positively SALT visited again and are trying to get staff on board with feeding more and encouraging self feeding to hopefully get him off NSG tube feed eventually

I pronounce "dosette" as ''blister pack'' - easier all round!

Grace thank you that sounds like a very good suggestion that i will make.

hi all waves

thigh is your dad on Furosemide or perhaps might be put on it? obvs I am not a doctor, but dad had that at home and in hospital, fairly sure. So if your dad wants the meds but not the hospital stay, that might be possible.

I had to google to remind myself of the drug name and while doing that, this article came up talking about giving it via IV at home

www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/medical/intravenous-diuretics-at-home

Yolo I'm so glad your DH has finally started treatment. This time next year he will be a meth kingpin and have 80 million buried in the desert. Glad you got the opportunity to have a fag, i have failed on the fag front. Will try again soon, sigh.

Yes, why doesn't anyone tell us anything? Cba or they think we're thick or trying to sugar coat it? I know things only go one way in the end, but when is the end? When do we say fuck it and make the most of every day and when do we push for treatment?

I think there's life in the old dog yet, but he hasn't got a hospital stay in him. Bloody death traps.

When I had my youngest i had a shower and went home, bloody filthy places hospitals.

dose-ette I'd have said??

no dint please dont say that. You guys on this thread have supported me through the horror of mum - not to mention the bloody aggro before that. It's not a competition!!

equally, how come no one told me and DB that mum had pneumonia, from which she died?
we have started the complaint process, latest I have heard is that I cant have a copy of her medical records yet as 'another department still needs them'. hmm, I wonder why...

Dealing with oldies is worse than what I and my family are going through at the moment I think. We have hope, treatment will work, this time next year Rodders we will all be millionaires etc etc. But with the oldies, it's really a case of just putting off the inevitable (just call me Little Miss Sunshine, sorry!)