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Elderly parents
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The new shiny 2019 thread for anyone caring for elderly parents

986 replies

thesandwich · 31/12/2018 19:37

Continuing the long running series of threads. Pace yourself, it's a marathon not a sprint!
This is a safe place to offload- don't be embarrassed about how you feel. No judgement here
There are lovely people here with practical experience of some of the issues which crop up who'll share their hard won knowledge!
And a few laughs and the odd cockroach or gin....

OP posts:
pineapplebryanbrown · 30/01/2019 23:46

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MrsBertBibby · 30/01/2019 23:31

Ooh, oldest stepson is mad about dogs, and we love stocking filler books.

One of the most enraging things about the decrepit olds is that I am being forced into a relationship with my sisters (moderate holy fuckwit in Africa, and hardline unbearable fuckwit up North). People keep saying this is great. No, it bloody well isn't. I don't want to be all bloody sisterly with them. They are annoying fuckwits best avoided. Or made into roof tiles.

MoreCheerfulMonica · 30/01/2019 23:30

I’m not much about dogs, but I love disco so think we should adopt Drool and the Gang as house band!

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/01/2019 23:13

Oooh dogs!!! I love dogs more than cake 🎂

yolofish · 30/01/2019 22:57

I cant tell you the working title yet... but its not about oldie mouldies its about dogs! Drool and the Gang is excellent, might be able to work that in somewhere...

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/01/2019 22:23

Yolo not more languages to learn? I already speak bums and olds now I'll learn cancers too in your honour.

I can't be bothered with today any longer and have gone to bed with my best dog and some sweets.

Add me to the book list Yolo what's the title? Drool and The Gang?

Original poster
thesandwich · 30/01/2019 22:02

Oohyolo put me on the book list! I think you need thigh and dint as guest contributors cockroach features I hope???
Hope the reports get there in time yolo
🍷🍷all.
Oooh and if anyone is short of a few roof tiles I can help.....

OP posts:
Iamdanish · 30/01/2019 21:41

Grace
It seems as if people are either a number person or language person 😀.
But being from a very small language area forces the need to learn more languages. Hence why so many Dutch and Scandinavian people speak a reasonable English, German etc. they are taught in school from early childhood.
Hope you can relax now visitor have left 😀.

Grace212 · 30/01/2019 21:22

danish - I don't speak a word of any other languages, I am in awe of people who do. I am so not a language learning person.

Grace212 · 30/01/2019 21:21

Tethers End - that is brilliant.

Siblings as roof tiles - yes, roof tiles are very useful and important Grin

Yolo, I hope they do sort that for the MDT meeting. It shouldn't need chasing really.

Iamdanish · 30/01/2019 21:19

yolofish
Best of luck with your dh.
I will buy your book anytime, love your sense af humor even in shit times.

yolofish · 30/01/2019 21:10

thigh snort! you should write for publication you make me laugh even tho I know you're having a shit time.
Laughing is all we can do innit?
danish I cant spell collo... either, either that or I am too pissed to type. So agree about language being/can be dull without some of the everyday sayings that add zest.

DH had MRI today, got to phone cancer care coordinator nurse tomorrow to push for it to be sent through in time for MDT meeting tomorrow. There is a whole horrible language to cancer which becomes part of your life. Thurs afternoon brings the chemo planning meeting, that should be fun...

I am writing a book at the moment, to hopefully be a totally silly stocking filler for xmas 2019. When I say 'book' what I mean is one of those little books you buy for people when you dont know what to buy or you just need another pressie. Totally not literature!! but if I get a deal I will share with you lot. My mum went to a fortune teller once (why?) and was told that I would have a book published in my 50s, so I'd better bloody crack on!

pineapplebryanbrown · 30/01/2019 20:58

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pineapplebryanbrown · 30/01/2019 20:53

At this rate i will turn into a wok rather than an ewok.

Original poster
thesandwich · 30/01/2019 19:56

Glad the snow didn’t stop you today grace . 🍷🍷for you when s£&# sibling vanishes.
Love the idea of Tethers end!!!! yolo you really have a gift with words- not surprising to hear it’s part of your work.
🌺🌺🍷🍷🍫🍫to everyone and a liberal dollop of Teflon to you all.

OP posts:
Iamdanish · 30/01/2019 19:55

Sorry now I just need to learn to do spell collo.... 🙄

Iamdanish · 30/01/2019 19:51

yolofish
You did it! You actually made me look up colloqalism 😂
But you are right, it is our everyday sayings that bring life to any language. Have been translating very specialized user manuals - a darn bore.

yolofish · 30/01/2019 19:14

A good application of Teflon all round for all of you I think. The village of Tethers End seems to be on the map - this is the place where we all go to rock gently to and fro, and kind people, maybe in white coats, come and prescribe and apply nice things like wine and cake and kittens and puppies, and say soothing things like 'there there' and 'dont you worry'.

danish love the eyerolling! part of my job is to write in international english (for translation into numerous languages) and it is like a jigsaw puzzle adding some pace and excitement without resorting to colloqualisms!

MereDintofPandiculation · 30/01/2019 18:53

Dealing with an aged parent alone feels bad, but I realise how lucky I am not to have a sibling.

Grace212 · 30/01/2019 18:14

sorry, very conscious that others are dealing with real problems, thanks for all being here for my moan!

I think mum will break down properly when sibling is gone...a shocking day for her really.

Grace212 · 30/01/2019 18:12

my dad did feel very tense on the vanishingly rare occasion he saw Useless Sibling, but was absolutely adamant about an equal split

he also gave us both some money in the past and I feel as if Useless Sibling doesn't appreciate it at all.

Maybe I just don't get on well enough with Useless Sibling to understand them.

they are here for dinner and will be gone by 8ish - my shoulders are so tense....I can't wait.

Iamdanish · 30/01/2019 18:08

Grace
Been there, I think a lot of us have. The icing on the cake for me was when sis afterwards moaned about how hard it had been for her just thinking about it 😤.
Ultimately it is your parents decision, but one sometimes wonder if that is fair.

Grace212 · 30/01/2019 17:54

ha ha didn't even type post!

exhausted after the scattering thing but also - Useless Sibling is here and creating tension. I feel immoral but I still can't believe that, assuming we outlive mum, one day the inheritance will be split equally and one person will have done nothing at all to help or support.

Grace212 · 30/01/2019 17:52

sorry to be all me me me

Iamdanish · 30/01/2019 12:39

Btw love the can't be arsed, can't be translated into Danish - I have tried 😂.
Sorry about your calamities with your mother. Sounds so jealous and needs love so much. Yet so hard to love. Best of luck.