Caring for elderly parents? Pop in for support/advice/a bit of a rant...

I don’t think I’m the best person to answer that comprehensively yolo but if the PM returns a clear natural cause I suspect they will not hold inquest. If you raise concerns about the care which may have led to that however they will do so I would have thought

No probs yolo, glad to be of help. Someone who I don't really know that well went out of her way to support my DS(17) this week, and I know how much I appreciated that helping hand.

Oh nota... but yay for littlespace dad (still sounds like a lot of stuff to me though).

Does anyone know, if someone has a post mortem is an inquest inevitable? I am not quite sure. DB has started on about should we put in a formal complaint, but I think/suppose the inquest is the starting point?

Thank you nota for all your help, so much appreciated x

Yes! Hurrah! Dad has finally accepted he needs a walking frame.

Today - bought walking frame, made Dad lunch, made dad evening meal, took him to Mum's burial place, put a bed up for him, took dictation for a letter he wanted to write and sat for lots of chats.

Cockroach to all too.

Can you put me on the cake drop run please Dint?

I had to take DM to a hospital check up this morning. Put a note on her calendar and phoned her last night and this morning to remind her and to ask her to be ready at 9.30am for me to pick her up (she has form for not being ready, still sitting with her rollers in etc). She called me and told me that 9.30 was an unreasonably early time to collect her for a 10.15 appointment. So yes, she wasn't ready and I had to park in the bloody extortionate hospital car park etc. She hasn't been using the drops, so the eye hasn't healed. Which means I have to pick up 2 new presciptions, take them to her house and explain that she needs to use them. And then book more annual leave to take her back for the next bloody check up.

Cockroach all.

So sorry, always.

Normal service has been resumed with my DF - he emailed me last night claiming to have got his legs trapped under his bed and taken several hours to get himself free. Well, yes, dad, if you'd accepted the pendant alarm we suggested we could have got you out of that a lot sooner. This morning's email a lot more cheerful. I'll go round soon on a cake drop.

always sorry for your loss - hope you're holding up ok.

We've had a not-too-bad week - Dad's PA has finally stopped calling, texting and emailing every 5 seconds, thank god. He seems ok in himself and the flat looked fine when I went yesterday. No major crises this week

At my brother's suggestion I've started keeping a little diary of all the "Dad stuff" I do and it is hair-raising! I sometimes wonder if I'm exaggerating/over-estimating how much work it is (especially when sometimes it's hard to explain what exactly I've been doing) but NOPE. Some days are less full-on than others but when you see it written down it's

Hi Always sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you too.
Visited my poor Dad yesterday with my DD, decided to break all the rules and take in some Cadbury's fruit and nut to share with him. Should've seen the cheeky smilie on his face!

for Always.

Always, sorry for your loss

Just an argh this morning

I can't understand how mum watched a child grow to be an independent woman but still relied on her husband for everything. Now I know why she used to go on at me about what a hard life I'd have if not married. Bizarre. She's currently angsting over a savings passbook and "doesn't believe" the lady on the phone who told her what to do.

Pleased to say a couple of other widowed friends have visited and said to her that she will be fine and one of them said she didn't even spend the night alone the first few weeks but had to get used to it.

always I am so sorry.🌺🌺🌺
yolo that is so so hard. Thinking of you and sending a big hug.cockroach all.

so sorry always, it's a strange old feeling.

Sorry for your loss always

@alwaysonthepiste ❤️

So sorry for your loss Always

always

I just wanted to thank you enlightened, kind and wonderful people for contributing to this, and the previous, amazing thread which I have followed intensely.
Need yolo nota pickle more and many others have given sound legal, social, emotional support and advice from which I and my dparents have benefitted.
My dMum passed away very early this morning after a year of ill health. I was so happy to have the strength to be with her. Your wise words kept me going. 💕🍷

Annual leave used up so Dad could attend hearing aid appt this afternoon. Audiologist said not enough time so could he come back on Monday... Mum was lovely for me and we had a nice afternoon so that was good. Hugs to all of you doing great things in difficult circumstances

Cockroach everyone. Sending love and support for the bad bits (yolo , callaird, no doubt lots of others) and the actually-not-so-bad bits ( dint ). Some friends of mine had some lovely news today so I'm feeling fuzzy and somewhat more impervious to the dad crap.

@yolofish you and your DH shouldn't have to be going through all this rubbish. I'm so sorry
Cockroach to all

Tonight, I actually think my brain has fried. DH has to have another colonoscopy on Sun, then appt with consultant on Mon. Apparently biopsy material from the one he had 6 days ago not enough... which worries me rather.

So I send you all very much love and strength for what you and your loved ones are having to endure, and the hugest thank you for the support I've received - you are all wonderful, and no one who is not going through this cannot (triple neg? you know what I mean anyway) have the slightest possible idea... cockroach to you all

yolo Sorry you'e having to deal with the extra fuss around pm.

Call, you are doing the right thing. Protect yourself.
Mere, sometimes they do surprise us! Good news.
yolo that sounds hard but what you are doing should improve care for others. Glad funeral director was helpful.
cockroach all. 🍷🍷

good news indeed dint.

my poor old mum: sent the coroner's office the 10 pages of notes I have compiled since June 7. On the basis of these, they want a pm at a different hospital, so she has to be schlepped across the county for this. I feel bad, I wish she didnt have to have that happen, but actually some of her care was appalling and the current hospital has no idea why she died, so I guess it's important.

went to see funeral director today, as easy as it could possibly have been. have to laugh though, she is getting constant phonecalls from octogenarians who want to donate (hope to my charity rather than the other option we gave) and they are all so far completely useless on the phone... but the woman has the kindness and patience of a saint.

Just chucking some nice news into this thread in the hope that it'll cheer someone else up too. DF (late 90s) has been getting a lot of attention recently, from district nurses, "community matron" offering support which he flatly turned down, MH doctor, physio, and eventually complained he was feeling "harassed", so everyone's taking a bit of a step back. I had a cheerful email from him this morning - "after medical appt, I went to supermarket and used one of their electric wheelchairs to stock up on..." Getting out of the house/independence/willingness to accept help all in one email!