Caring for elderly relatives? Pop in for support, a hand hold, advice, whatever you need.

Survived op, and I have found 5 local care homes within 5 miles. She wont like the idea, but tough love 'n all that. I have and wishing all comforts to everyone. Let's hope this is a better week for us all.

yolo so sorry it’s all so tough.
pickle big hug and ☕️☕️🍷🍷🍫🍫.

Surgery this afternoon..... so at least I dont have to visit today! stupid stupid old bat. I veer between rage and gloom. Going to go and do something useful now, like sort out the airing cupboard.

Oh yolo what a nightmare! Unbelievable. Hope the day is bearable though can't see how...

Whatever, hope you can embrace the feelings of freedom when they come.

yolo you must be so angry! After everything you and dB have done to get her home....... 🍷🍷🍷🍷and as others say, try to get some rest and conserve your energy.
☕️☕️to everyone.

morning all, just waiting to see what today brings - knackered already.

Yolo, hope you are OK.

Reading this, it sounds as if your mums stubborness has a lot to do with addiction. Not something you can or could reason with.

I hope today is not too awful

You ok Yolo? Hope you got a little sleep?

Bloody hell yolo

I am so fucking ANGRY with her! cant say any more will have wine and got to bed...

Did I say I wouldnt answer the phone? Lifeline people phoned at 8.15pm, they couldnt speak to her but could hear her screaming. to cut a long story short, she was trying to get at her secret drug stash, fell over and has been carted back off to hospital with a probably broken hip (cant weight bear and one leg now shorter than the other). stupid, stupid old bat - DH told her just this afternoon how careful she must be. FML.

Another lurker, my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in January, has ended up being sectioned and is in complete denial that there is a problem. He is very angry and lots of paranoid thinking, very aggressive towards his family, oh the joys

Hi all, huge hugs for everyone!
Pickle this is exactly where I am at. Funeral on Tuesday 14th and actually relieved I have had this time to talk and think things through before I have to face it. I've remained calm and behaved perfectly so far ... nearly lost it in response to some 'sympathy' cards earlier in the week. But I refuse to lower myself, I WILL hold my head up high and get through the day. After all hopefully I will never have to see half of her devoted friends ever again.
I honestly thought I would never be able to cry when she died. In the event I have cried loads but for the relationship I never had and also accepting how she felt about me. But I am free at last.

There is a lot to be said for accidentally switching a phone to silent, or leaving it upstairs.

Stay strong yolo

hi everyone, and welcome view.

I think it is fair to say that DM will not enjoy being under the Kent Enablement Team - the nurse tonight had the absolute effrontery to make her walk into the kitchen and choose her own supper!! And then trolley it back into the living room herself!!

DB went home today, I went in at lunchtime with some shopping and ended up having to make her lunch (only a sandwich and a trifle, but...). then back in at 5 with DH to do a few bits, my niece turned up with her husband (come 200 miles) so that was all good and she really cant complain about being 'alone all day long'. Need to get caring agency to send someone in at lunchtimes for housework and lunch encouragement. I know she is going to phone and say can I come and see her into bed, so planning not to answer phone. (bad daughter). but DD1 is working and doesnt finish until somewhere between 11pm and 2am, so it is what it is.

And if she is awarded Attendence Allowance she will probably be eligible for Council tax exemption. Worth having. And a disabled parking blue badge. And anything else that links with 'being in receipt of benefits'.

I have finally got round to switching my mum from BT. She does not need much, mainly a phone line, but at one point I had added basic broadband in case carers stayed overnight, because it was the same price, or indeed cheaper. But BT have just raised the cost of the phone line and of the broadband within the fixed term contract so that it was more expensive that the super fast fibre/TV etc package from another provider my student daughter was offered.

It was really difficult to speak to anyone, even though the price rise email offered a number. They did say though that I could cancel, so I did. Then lo and behold a week later I get a call asking, essentially, what I want and what I want to pay.

Its very wrong. They are relying on the inertia of their elderly and long term customers to subsidise the new customers they are chasing. My mum cant manage a mobile, never makes calls and probably only received 4/5 calls a month. Yet was being charged over £30 a month.

view ask away- if others can benefit from the hive mind of this thread, then that is a real bonus.
Thanks to mumsnetters I got attendance allowance using advice from the carers association- age uk are good too- also backdated if you request a paper form from the date you request the form.
Also thanks to nms dm got a £90 refund on her power of attorney by registering at gov.uk.
pickle that is so c£&*. Stay away for a few days. Teflon immersion required. She doesn’t deserve you.

No she applies for Attendence Allowance, however I would try to get help from someone who has done it before. You need to be VERY negative about ability/capacity. You ought to be eligible for carers allowance. Both worth having.

My mum was in hospital so I saw it as a good use of rainy day money. Plus you will save something from not having her/her friend with you.

Be warned 24 hour care is not much cheaper.