Caring for elderly relatives? Pop in for support, a hand hold, advice, whatever you need.

Hope all goes well with care home lady today Yolo

😂😂pickle!

Oh yolo! Fingers crossed for tomorrow! I am in awe of your resourcefulness and determination. Your dm is absolutely priceless....

Direct crem sounds the way to go actually least stress all round. Tho it would not please DM, the woman who said "but what would all our Naval friends say if I had a Co-op funeral?" then discovered that the co-op advertise in the Royal Naval Officers' magazine so must be quite pukka after all.

Progress today: gp visited, and because he didnt disagree that she should go into a care home she now thinks its all her idea and cant quite understand why she hasnt done it before (erm, you have mum, twice). And also that he must tell her children that we should never have allowed her to leave the last care home, oh and by the way could he drop the prescription he'd just written for anti-anxiety into the chemists on his way back to the surgery? honestly you couldnt make it up!

Very local care home lady coming tomorrow, if she 'passes' assessment they will admit her on Thursday. DB staying til then, I'm staying around tonight/tomorrow again.

Yolo, sending and and . As you say, this is unsustainable- dB is v kind but there has to be another answer. Good luck with gp- can s/he give her some happy pills???? Anti Mardy old- batness???

Mrs8 I would avoid the evil auntie for ever and just go and do your own thing without both of them.

pickle what is direct cremation? (asking for a friend, you understand)

She told this morning's enablement lady that my brother threw a pile of books at her in a fit of pique.

GP visiting sometime after 12; I am currently researching care homes for urgent respite care which is taking time...

DB says DSIL will come and they will live in for a couple of weeks, but I dont think that is a good idea because nothing will really change.

What we actually need is another crisis so she is taken back into hospital and then social services put her into a care home. Of course she wants a private 'naice' one but she only has enough money for a couple of months and I dont know what happens after that. Lets face it, wherever she goes she will hate it and demand to come home. I'm not prepared to facilitate getting her out for a 3rd time, because it is a disaster all round.

I feel like shit this morning which has only underlined that the situation doesnt work. Hopefully its just a cold/tiredness etc - the beds in her house are so fucking uncomfortable. I went out and bought new pillows yesterday, and if this goes on will be ordering a new mattress!! My own bed seems like a distant memory...

Good luck yolo. Make sure you and your brother get breaks as it won't do your DM any good if you get worn out. It isn't sustainable to have this kind of pressure long term.

I doubt even a billionaire would find anyone willing to put up with this level of demanding behaviour!

am home for food, clean clothes, wine, my (grown up) babies etc but will go back round there as soon as I have eaten so DB doesnt kill her. she is not ill enough yet for ambo - tho pretty sure toxic delirium brewing. she has kind of agreed to go into a care home for 'respite' but they must 'love her' have delicious food and provide 24/7 person to sit in in some kind of vigil. Prob what happens if you are a billionaire?? Seems very unlikely but DB and I have agreed to see what tomorrow brings. Thank you all, as always, for support - the kindness of strangers makes a huge difference and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. (sorry for lack of capital letters, really cba!!)

Yolo, you are an absolute saint. I dot know how you are keeping going.
Mrs8- stick to your guns, “this doesn’t work for me”. She can make her own way. Protect yourself.

if someone else was writing this I would think they were exaggerating, but I am so not, and if anything am not putting in full horrors because so long and ongoing.

so today we are waiting for GP still; also waiting to hear if cobbled together 24 hour care arrangement will work (2 people, one for the day and one for the night). spanner in works is that local enablement team say that we cant have them AND private care - ok fair enough, I get that they can use their resources better elsewhere. but at the moment we have no confirmation of private care and no evidence that it will actually work so if enablement team pull out now and it all falls apart then god knows what we do.

her anxiety is sky high, she can no longer remember very much. next possible moves are psych assessment and head scan (she denies banging head in any of recent falls but who knows). DB wants to go home tomorrow, cant blame him, but then when it all falls apart.... I want to ask him to stay a night longer but in all honesty I cant do that, expecially when she is imploring him not to leave her, she is dying blah blah.

I am a horrible person because the more needy she gets the less I can stand being near her, let alone giving her the love she wants.

Wow. I guess she will go on the emergency services blacklist if there is one. It won't help if she has a genuine need to ring 999 in the future.