Caring for elderly relatives? Pop in for support, a hand hold, advice, whatever you need.

whatever how are you doing? Sending an extra hug.
And emergency supplies for pickle

That is so awful yolo you poor thing- and poor dB. Total incompetence. Sending extra 🍷🍷🍫🍫🍫🍫.

pickle she wont go into a home - and I do understand that. so she will have to bedblock til someone gets it right. I've already rescued her from stalag 41 (aka nursing home) with dire results. This time around the NHS needs to get its shit together and arrange the care plan. if she then chooses to supplement with private help, that's up to her. Whether she hates it in hospital or not, she has to stay until there is a proper discharge plan in place. We've been promised all sorts over the last 8 weeks, and NONE of it has materialised!

Varney - that bloke in on the buses? (old). Iago was awfully jealous wasnt he? Momentum quite pretty, Mo for short has good Labour heritage!!

This is the point where I have to announce that our local NHS trust, East Kent, is officially unable to organise a piss up in a brewery.

DB and I both got phone calls yesterday to say that she would be discharged today; specialist nursing team in place to asses her 12 times over 3 days to ensure long term care plan. To cut a long story short, the specialist nursing team have never heard of her, and she's not their bag anyway as she has a non-weight bearing injury and needs to be with a different team; the different team mentioned has no capacity to deal with her. DB has travelled 200 miles by train today as she was expecting to be discharged and a bit anxious about staying home alone. No one has a fucking clue.

I eventually got through to the ward about half an hour ago, spoke to the nurse in charge whose English on the phone was so incoherent I had to speak to someone else. The someone else was Dr. Chen, English great, but unfortunately this is his first day on the job (literally, he a brand new doctor doesnt even know his way round the bloody building yet and first week of Aug is when the newbies get a go) and he know nothing, the grand total of fuck all. Jesus!!!!

I was in Dorset last week and heard a mum calling for her kid. I hung around to see if I could see the child as I really wanted to know how old he was, but did not.

The name....Corbyn

Probably fine for a teenager, but a bit for anyone under 6. Perhaps his sister is called Momentum.

still think I should have called the kids Rothmans and Spudulika - would make them stand out in class!

Glad to raise a smile! Yolo- that’s s£&*. Sending extra supplies.
And to youpickle

oh of course annan how could I have forgotten! DDs and I were discussing Kevin and Perry go Large today and the vodka shots into the eyeballs... HE so clever, unforgettable characters.

still waiting to hear if DM is to be discharged today, hospital couldnt run a piss up in a brewery on current form.

Harry Enfield. ..

Catherine Tate, wasnt it? not sure now.

Group hugs all round but from a distance as very very hot again!

Oh whatever I am so very sorry. It’s like the deep pond with murky depths has been disturbed. Another great big hug from a random stranger. I hope getting back to routine helps- be really kind to yourself.
yolo ooh my goodness- I so hope your dm is recovered, and the care works- but send buckets of chocolate, Teflon. And gin.
Still looking for the nice young men..... promise I’ll share😂😂😂. Dm did have a visit from firemen who travel in pairs for safety in her street😂😂😂. Risk of kidnap from elderly bids....

big hugs whatever they may be only virtual and from a random internet person but you never know they may help - I hope so.

Just wishing everyone strength, Teflon and anything else to help us all get through the week ahead. For those on holiday, try to enjoy as we have all most definitely earned it.
I'm looking at a bizarre week of trying to return to 'normal' and finally going back to work before her funeral the following week. Emotionally still very up and down. It's been nothing like I'd expected as I continue to deal with the reality of never having experienced the mother daughter relationship that others have.. feelings of being worthless and wondering why anyone would love me... Before this happened I honestly thought I had it all sorted in my head!
Hopefully the return to work and all the distractions will begins to help get things back into perspective. Good luck everyone xx

sandwich please could I have a nice young man (black, white, green etc) to pop in on me every day just to make sure I am ok?? I think it would cheer me up enormously, DH might not like it, but he'd be at work, and a nice handsome young man with a pleasing way with words and an appreciation of the more mature lady would be just what I need...

annan and need - flowers, gin, teflon, etc etc as required and as often as required. I hope you have a great holiday annan and need I so understand about the Pinteresque convos.

I've been away this w/e (work for my charity 150 mile drive each way, quite hard work, boiling heat etc). DM is to be discharged tomorrow, to home, with 3-4 visits a day from nurses who will do a 3 day assessment while she is at home to see how she copes. From being unable to walk last Thurs she can now apparently walk 20m unaided, and can therefore cope with making her own drinks, meals etc. I find this quite hard to believe.

Anyway, because I was away and she thinks I am away til tomoz she has guilt tripped my poor darling DB into coming to stay again (from 200 miles away) for 2 nights as she is afraid to be alone at night. The man is a bloody saint, but also has a core of steel - he says he will do nothing for her, she has to cope on her own, and he will leave the house during the assessments. If he can seriously manage that he is a better man than I.

So tomorrow I am getting some food in for her, organising beds being made etc, running the DDs around as required, picking up DB from station, maybe doing some work?? washing?? tidying??

and probably drinking to excess...

Picking up on what people said upthread, I have always been very cautious about telling my mother anything that might generate a negative comment. This is now just about everything.

One of the hardest things about my dad dying has been that I can't phone him up and tell him things he might enjoy. There were a few things that I would also have told my mum. (She was a teacher and liked conversations about education.) But effectively they are both gone. I really don't enjoy seeing my mother, and from her conversation "why are you here", "are you going soon", she is nt very bothered about my visits.

The long slow decline continues. The carer and I are not sure whether she is losing some of her hearing, or if she is simply forgetting words so finds processing conversation difficult. I need to organise having her tested. It led to a brilliantly Pinteresque conversation with her, DD and me sitting there each adding a, sometimes related, comment after a weighty pause. Then every 10 minutes returning to her current obsessions and setting off on a new riff. I wish I had recorded it. Mig way through DM announced she planned to die soon, DD started giggling and we both lost it.

pickle extra🍫🍫🍫🍫and Teflon for you.
anna have a great time. You have done all you can.

Heading off on holiday just as I hear my mum has pulled out of her purchase AGAIN. Twice in a week is a record. Instead she wants to spend two weeks in a heatwave at 83 pounding around a city 2 hours away from home looking for somewhere unfurnished to rent. The reason we helped and pushed her to do this purchase is that she hasn't the stamina, memory or continence to do this any more -that and a zillion other reasons. She will never remember that we tried so hard to fulfil her wishes except that they changed every bloody day, and things are not perfect - she has a non functioning hip, needs to be somewhere she doesn't actually have to drive, lives alone. It's just impossible.

Still going on holiday.

Hope things are stable yolo- and how are things pickle?
Hope you are doing ok whatever, and Monica, nota, needmoresleep and Anna.
Dm has carer envy.... why can’t she have the nice young black man who goes to Mrs buggins down the road?? 😮😮😮😮😮