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Elderly parents

Please stop it mother!

27 replies

Mupflup · 09/09/2017 11:27

DM is in her 70s, not in bad health generally but atm has a recurring UTI. She wants to tell me all about it in detail every time I speak to her. I have said repeatedly that I don't need / want to hear all her symptoms but she persists: 'Ooh the burning, the itching, I keep myself very clean down there though you know, I think I might be having another prolapse etc etc.'

Growing up any talk of bodies, periods, sex etc was frowned upon (in a totally OTT weird kind of way, she is very religious and all those things were termed 'dirty'), so I am NOT comfortable listening to this at all, it's not a level of intimacy we have ever had, and not one I now want! I have a brother who lives round the corner from her (I'm hundreds of miles away), and she won't even mention it to him.

I do care she's not well, I just can't hack the details! Does anyone else's mother do this and if so how do you deal with it? I'm at the point of holding the phone away from my ear when she does it.

Please no 'Awwh she's your mum don't be so mean', I need practical help for dealing with it!

OP posts:
FadedRed · 09/09/2017 13:51

I'm sorry this is upsetting you, but when you said I keep myself very clean done there I wonder if she is exacerbating her discomfort by too much washing/using harsh soaps or other products/has a vulval condition that is actually causing her problems.
Has she seen her GP about her problems?
Maybe your response should be "I don't need to here all your symptoms again, Mother, you need to tell your GP and get it treated."
Older women can suffer from a conditions of the vulva that cause severe itching and soreness that can be mistaken for UTI's.

Blackcatonthesofa · 09/09/2017 13:40

No, sorry can't help. My dad had to tell me how nice it was to have sex with his new girlfriend a few months after my mum had died. Yes, I'm an adult. No, it's still freakingly weird