Caring for elderly parents? Drop in for support, hand holding and whatever you need

different day same shit. A&E called me at 7 to say they were reviewing xrays and v concerned. DM was ambulanced in and immobilised, arriving at hospital about 8.45, I got there 9.15. Then waited 3 hours for CT scan - DM still immobilised - and 2 more hours for results. Then sent her home with me... what they were concerned about would have been very serious so it was the right thing to do, but fuck me 2 days in a row?? having wine now and then going to bed and having a bloody lie in.

yolo did something similar with my DM a couple of years ago, our local district nurses are now run by Virgin. Didn't think much of it (other than grrrr) until my phone bill came - each appointment had to be made by phone. Their number was a premium rate. Cost me a bloody fortune. Bastards.

Pananny Here a referral to the falls team is automatic if you've been to A&E. They visited my MIL and left her with a sheet of exercises to strengthen various leg muscles. She has a follow up visit from someone every month or so. She's not exactly committed to the programme but I remind her whenever I see he and she grudgingly invests five minutes twice a day.

That's a good idea, yolo. I don't know if MN supports that kind of document though. Maybe a resource thread, where people add a resource and the issues they support. We can then all contribute, and all scroll through and find what we need. We'd need to be disciplined- no chatting on the thread, and maybe specify what area of the country the resource is based, as s9me will be specific to particular regions.

yolo, is there a rainy day money fund?

If so agency care workers are often trained to, and certified for, giving injections. (Or at least my mum's carer is - something I did not know until my mum needed injections post hospital discharge.) Ring round and see if there is someone who can make a short call each day?

sorry me again. We almost need a kind of grid of where to go for what info/advice eg falls a, b and c, dementia d, e and f...

Just for the record they wanted to keep her in but the stubborn old bat refused - thus transferring burden of care to me, thanks mum.

pananny we have a thing round here called the Falls Clinic which looks at reasons for falling and ways to make it less likely - worth investigating? I'd also push for a home visit for your dad, ridiculous that the GP cant see him for so long esp with concussion. I have found that being very polite but pretty direct works well. good luck.

Ridiculous processes. Phoned GP surgery to ask if district nurse team could visit for daily injections - told that A&E should have arranged that. Phoned A&E (over an hour to get through), spoke to nurse in charge - no it's the GPs job, they should give you district nurse phone no. Phoned GP, it's lunchbreak, finally get through, can I have district nurse number? yes of course.... Phone district nurse, oh no we need a buff form and a referral from the GP. Phoned GP, can they arrange buff sheet and referral form and email to district nurse team this afternoon so district nurse can visit DM tonight. NOW they are on to it - why not just do it in the first place???

She doesnt want me to give injection, I dont want to give them, and she cant do it herself - hands too weak. Spoke to her on phone, she wishes she was dead as pain so bad. Now got to go and pick up scrips for the bloody injections and the blood pressure pills and drop them in to her. Taking DD2 with me for protection!!

pickle that all sounds really tough on you - sending you the tipple of your choice.

Pananny I'm no expert, but positional stability is a problem for older people. The core muscles lose strength and they can't support themselves any more. Can you look up local seated exercise classes, or postural stability classes? Age concern should know where they are and any other helpful resources.

Yolo, you must be shattered! I hope today goes better, and that the injections don't cause problems. I'm surprised they sent her home! Just shows how stretched the resources are.

Dad is very near the end now. No more talk of moving him to a nursing home. I can't get done there just yet, as I've been poorly and am not well enough yet- either to drive or to look after anyone when I get there. Hopefully in a day or two I'll be in a better position, and still in time. In the meantime though, there is no one really looking after my mum. She isn't eating well, etc. If I miss seeing Dad in time, I can cope with that, but Mum needs me.

Thank you all. Dad fell/collapsed on Friday. Ambulance to a+e. Concussed, knocked top teeth out. Bottom teeth through lip nose split from top to bottom. stitches inside and out. Lost a lot of blood. Sent home 6 hours later. Dr cant see him til next week. So just wondered if anyone had any thoughts about things we could look into before then. sorry to read your problems Yolo. It always seems to be assumed that there is someone fit and healthy in the same house who can do the care. I hope you get something sorted. Would the injections fall under district nurse remit?

Oh, yolo, what a mess. Unless I've misunderstood, you live some distance from your mother. How are you going to manage the daily injection?

and more handholding

Pananny that sounds like he could possibly have Parkinson's, suggest he sees his GP to rule it out.

11.15 phone rings, your mother is free to go please come and collect her.
12.00 reach hospital delayed because of fuckwit roadworks
12.30 leave hospital after cannula removed, extra scrip because blood pressure thru roof, can I inject her stomach with klexane everyday with further notice (got lesson on how to do that) plus antibs for chest infection.
12.45 argument with fuckwit roadworks man who gives me stress because of mispositioning on roundabout - did not give same shit to man in front of me in exactly the same situation.
12.50 DM announces "oh they really wanted to keep me in for the night but so much nicer to be at home"
1.25am I get in, having put her to bed with every possible worldly comfort and pour extra big glass of wine.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Hi I hope this may ring some bells with someone.
My dad has started walking leaning forwards. He says he feels like he has to run to catch up with himself.

He went on a long walk last week. and arrived home concussed with serious facial injuries.
We are not sure if he passed out or stumbled into something that caused the concussion. A+e patched him up and sent him home. He has follow ups for his face but no one seems interested as to why he blacked out in the first place.
Just wondered if anyone had experienced anything similar.

squashy good news re carers and blue badge, hope they come through.

well she still in A&E; had xray and having some more tests. Am afraid am not going (35 min drive each way) as have already driven 200 miles today, got both DDs back from uni for varying amounts of time - and am at hospital tomorrow morning with DD1 for routine appt. A&E waiting time only 32 mins tonight - which I think is brilliant - and they patched me through to her on someone's mobile, again brilliant. She sounds off her head, not sure if meds or anxiety, and said "if they let me out after 11 I will get a taxi". I just told her to call when she knows what's happening, and after a large glass of wine will go to bed. Felt a bit bad that I am not sitting there with her - but really, what is the point? DB said the same. I'm shattered, thank you all for kind words.

Are we allowed to mention specific services? If so can I give a big shout out to the East Sussex CC STEPS service. My Dad's support worker has shown endless patience and understanding while we try to get him to accept that he should apply for Carers Allowance and a blue badge. Finally got the forms completed today. Hooray! (now fingers crossed that he actually gets them)

thank you all. ambulance was v quick and lovely women. have come home to eat etc, will phone a&e at about 9 to see if I need to go up there or what - may be too early for any test results tho xx

Yolofish - hope she can be made more comfortable at hospital at least and glad she's being looked after. Ambulance sounds a good idea.

and a hand hold from me, too