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Elderly parents

Caring for elderly parents? Drop in for support, hand holding and whatever you need

992 replies

thesandwich · 04/04/2017 09:54

Continuing the long running threads for anyone juggling elderlies and everything else. Loads of wisdom, support and the odd laugh...
How are you all doing?
How is everyone coping with the extra teens with exam challenges?

OP posts:
Unmanned · 09/04/2017 18:47

Hi vertical we have one mum only used it once but it's good to know it's there if you see what I mean

Verticalvenetianblinds · 09/04/2017 18:35

How many of you have those help line alarm thingys? My mums about to have an op and I've been looking into it

Unmanned · 09/04/2017 18:25

Hi pink
As sandwich said it is really hard to have someone you love going through this. My mum gets scared and angry but all I'm able to do is just be there for her and it never feels as though i'm doing enough.

Would music or reading to him help at all? Thinking of you Flowers

thesandwich · 09/04/2017 17:12

I am so sorry. Would a visit from a minister or priest/ elder type person give him any comfort- regardless of his faith or lack of it?or would that be the last thing he would want? Or could someone like that help you?
It is so hard.

OP posts:
Pinkkahori · 09/04/2017 15:45

Thanks sandwich. He is at home at the moment. Under a palliative care team who really are lovely. He has been in for respite care but being away from home unsettles him.
Physically he isn't suffering too much but the emotional pain and mental anguish are awful to see. No amount of medication seems to help and he is beyond being able to talk about it.

thesandwich · 09/04/2017 15:04

I'm sorry pink. It is so hard watching someone suffer. Do you have support from a hospice or Macmillan? Our local hospice does a wonderful job with day care and respite and making things easier for patients and families. Where is your df? 🌺

OP posts:
Pinkkahori · 09/04/2017 11:03

Thanks sandwich. Difficult to know where to start really. We very nearly lost Dad a couple of months ago. We said our goodbyes and to some degree had made our peace with it. Then he unexpectedly rallied and is still hanging on. He is like a shell of himself and it is heartbreaking. Everyone says we should be grateful for the time we have with him but he is gaining nothing from it. His mind comes and goes. His mood is very low, he is angry and scared. There is no hope of recovery but also impossible to know how long he has left.
We would love to do something to improve his quality of life but there doesn't seem to be anything he enjoys anymore.

thesandwich · 09/04/2017 08:50

Hello pink post away. Sorry you have had to find this bit of mn. 🌺

OP posts:
Pinkkahori · 08/04/2017 23:37

I'm new to this bit of MN. Glad to have found it. Struggling with very ill dad and could do with a chat. Would I be better to start a new thread or post here?

CaveMum · 05/04/2017 16:07

Placemarking.

Haven't seen MIL for a few weeks as I've been putting my feet up (T-minus 10 days till due date!) but DH has been popping in every weekend to check up on her.

We've got a flooring guy and cleaner booked to go in and give her house the once over in the next few weeks so that we can get the place rented out. Hopefully it will let quickly (3 bed house in very desirable city centre location so we're told it should be snapped up) and then we won't have to keep paying all her bills out of our savings.

Badders123 · 04/04/2017 16:09

Sounds tough comet 😞
5 days isn't much but at least it's something!

thesandwich · 04/04/2017 16:01

Sorry comet- it must be tough handling it all on your own. How is she doing?

OP posts:
cometseekers · 04/04/2017 14:37

Hi all off to do my 400 mile trip to sort dm out. Oh joy no siblings here so down to me.

Badders123 · 04/04/2017 13:15

Hello sandwich
I always think that re mum too..
She is away with my brother for 5 days after easter so I will get a break then at least!

thesandwich · 04/04/2017 13:09

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/elderly_parents/2734415-Caring-for-elderly-parents-Drop-in-for-support-hand-holding-and-whatever-you-need
Link to previous thread- unmanned how are you doing? Badders hope you are all fully recovered.
Things calm here with DM atm...... we are away for a week over Easter so vainly hoping db's might step up..... ooops just saw a pig fly past.... DM might realise how much I do if I'm not around( whoops just saw another one.....)

OP posts:
Badders123 · 04/04/2017 12:10

Hello.
Ds1 will be starting his gcses next year....
Taking mum to copd nurse this afternoon
Dh away with work again...I seem to spend my life hoping for as little drama as poss atm!

Unmanned · 04/04/2017 11:58

Typed a long post then promptly lost it as other thread was full!

So just hoping all from other thread are all ok Flowers