Caring for elderly parents? Drop in for support, hand holding and whatever you need

Practice some phrases Mrs!

I've a lot on at the moment, try brother.
I'm not feeling well, try brother.
That sounds awful. I wish I could help. What about brother?

Monkey...tell me about it!!
My brother is indeed the chosen one. Well...he can deal with it when the shit hits the fan. Because I will not become a carer. Nope. I do enough now. When I ever tentatively suggest my siblings might visit or do anything I get "they are too busy they work"
Um. Yeah. So do I. I have a Dh that works away. I have 2 kids. I have chronic health issues of my own.
She did actually text last night...we are going home today but she won't see me.
I'm so pissed off (sorry for potty mouth) that I think I just need to stay away for a while.

My mum saves things up for me to sort out, even if my brother has been to see her, on the basis that 'he works'. (I bloody work as well).

Lovely St David's!

It's the constant round CMOT, isn't it? Never a phone call goes by without something having gone wrong, being needed, etc.

It seems to be going to plan for my family- next week will be tough though, lots of adjusting for Mum to do, as she will hopefully finally accept that this is it.

Sounds tough cmot

Had a lovely afternoon in st David's.
Ice cream, sunny weather 😁

Back home tomorrow but away again for w days next week

Really sorry to hear about this Pickle Hope you are able to get things sorted.

Hope you're having a nice holiday MrsM, you really deserve it.

My week has been full of stuff. Dad phones 'tv isn't working'. I suggest getting his handyman to pop round and have a look. Tv still not working. Fine, I order one from AO. 7 calls from dad fussing about it. Talk to AO man when he's delivering. Talk to dad. Talk to AO man. Talk to dad. Fine. Then mums lamp has broken and they need a new one....
Wish my brother would take on even a bit of the admin - buying pants, trousers, shoes, but no hope. He and SIL are still talking about moving to be near her parents - which would put them close to my parents too. I'm soooo looking forward to telling social workers etc to phone him to be there!

Today has been busy
Kids having a good time

Pickle...take care x

I'm very tired of mum. In every way. And I feel bad for that.

Have a lovely holiday Mrs! And all is fair in this business. Say what you need to.

Dad is coming home Friday. It's been tough. I'll go down and stay for a week when they get back, help with his care and get him to medical appointments and assessments.

Pickles 🌹
I'm on holiday!
Mum has been pretty PA so I'm not texting or phoning
I'm going back.to.work 2 days at end of August
Im considering telling mum im going back 5 days

Thank you. They are still there, hoping to be repatriated today or tomorrow. His 'last holiday' has cost him the last of his independence, as he is going to need constant care now.

When your older family members are thinking of holidays, if they find insurance is getting harder to get, warn them of what it can be like! My parents thought a cruise was relatively safe, in reality they are inaccessible in a very expensive place!

((supportive hand squeeze)) for you, Pickle.

So sorry pickle x

That's so awful Pickle - much sympathy.

Sorry to just drop in and flap after being awol for a while, but I need a rant. To cut a long story short, my parents went on a cruise despite his condition. Now he has had a big seizure, been air evacuated off the ship leaving mum on her own. She'll be dropped at the next port and need to fly to the city of his hospital. He's really poorly.

I didn't want them to go, because it all seemed so risky to me. Now I'm looking at ridiculous flights to an inaccessible place. She's on her own. My sibs may go, I may stay, but honestly this is just what I didn't want to be worrying about! For goodness sake!! And of course I will never be able to say all the stuff I'm thinking like did the trip make him worse, did she push him to hard, am I going to miss my last days with my dad because of this holiday... &@&@& weep. Poor mum, poor dad.

Welcome cat
Goodness, what a time you've had!
I know what you mean re your time. I'd quote like a day off...
Mum seems much perkier today on steroids
I'm shattered. Think it's catching up with me tbh
So early night and off to bed!

Thank you for the welcome. I can't remember when I last had a dad free day and it doesn't look like it's going to ease off just yet - mobile phones have a lot to answer for. I have also found that even if I don't visit because my daughter or brother are going to, they always ring me afterwards to tell me about it! I loved The Good Daughter article - it really resonated that somehow we are expected to become responsible for our parents. One good thing is that the nursing home will do his laundry.

Hello everyone - I have been reading these threads for a long time as I have been caring for my parent(s) and can so sympathise with everyone's frustrations and at the physical and emotional demands placed on you when you are put in this position.

My dad was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2009 when he was 82 and a carer for my mum, who had multiple health issues and was housebound. I was working full time and with some (minimal at times to be honest) help from my adult daughter and my brother managed to take him for his chemo, clinic appointments and then a course of daily radiotherapy, at the same time as supporting my mum at home. He made a great recovery and and I was able to take a step back until my mum had a mini stroke and broke her ankle in August 2013. She went into hospital, then a nursing home and sadly died in February 2014 without ever returning home. Dad insisted on visiting every day which was sweet but, as his sight was failing and he had to stop driving, it was a trying time for us all.

I then supported dad to live at home as he was diagnosed with multiple cancers and lost his sight - I can't tell you how much time I have spent in hospitals over the last three years. I retired in August 2015 and to be brutally honest feel very resentful that I haven't had time to enjoy the supposed freedom as I have had to be involved with dad on an almost daily basis. I have felt that I have been living two lives - his and mine. At the end of May he could no longer cope at home and I managed to get him into a care home, and now he is in a nursing home and nearing the end of his life. Just getting him the right level of care has been a horrendous struggle and it was only yesterday that it finally fell into place.

Sorry for the very long post but just wanted to set the picture, say hello, and join in with this lovely support network, if you'll have me.

No she hadn't.
No sleep for me tonight....:(