Knitting, our experience as well. DM had a replacement hip so stayed five weeks. It was so nice to have other people being the first port (yes...) of call. DM was surprised how much she enjoyed the company, and the lack of pressure. No need to worry about buying food, doing washing etc. The food was lovely with nice, freshly backed biscuits etc being brought round all the time. Plus careful seating arrangements, so company for lunch and a sherry beforehand.
However much people fight for independence, being on your own is hard, lonely and stressful.
Her very sheltered housing is not quite as plush, but not nearly as expensive, but has the cooked lunch, the reception, the laundry service and the coffee lounge, as well as some, often resident-run, activities. We are five years in, and it has been the perfect solution.
In a lucid moment she has acknowledged I made the right decision. No apologies for the six months of screaming at me. Indeed no belief she should be polite to me. One of the staff told me that she still tells them how wonderful my brother is. This person had never seen him.
Her housing is run by Retirement Security Ltd. They are mainly in the south of England and you have to buy the flat. But really worth checking out, if you are looking for something good somewhere between a home and living independently.
My mother is likely to live well into her 90s. No retirement for me. Worse there is essentially a business to run, which is both stressful and time consuming. I have now though found the solution, in that it seems as if I can apply to the Court of Protection asking to sell the assets. If they judge that this is acceptable no one can argue that POA rules require me to manage her assets actively and in her best interests. Previously I had thought I would need to get a family consensus, and unsurprisingly it suited others to have her earn enough to pay for her care, thereby preserving her assets.
This is a huge relief. I am pretty close to breaking point, indeed in my more desperate moments had considered simply writing to the OPG saying I could not do it any longer. I would prefer time now, to the prospect of an increased inheritance some point in the future.