Well things seem to have come to a head and I know I should have forced dm to go into a care home when I had the chance. Now she's got to the stage where she's pulling the emergency cord regularly because she's distressed and wants me (happened in the night once and they had to send the paramedics round because I slept through the phone ringing). Today I got a call from them just an hour after I'd left as she couldn't find the toilet, and I found the kitchen floor flooded for the 3rd time in 2 weeks. She's confused (dementia), has trouble seeing anything and she has fractured pubic bone making her mobility very poor. She has 4 carers a day plus me but still, this is it isn't it?
I have been looking at local homes and the most suitable one has no permanent vacancies at the moment but can do respite for a few weeks - which at least would cover my one week holiday in October. I think I'm going to take it and hope a permanent vacancy comes up there in the meantime.
What if it doesn't though? I will get back from holiday the day before her respite finishes. Please tell me what to do, I'm feeling a bit desperate!