Went to visit Dad yesterday. In brief, 2 weeks ago he had a fall when his carers helped him out of the bath (I had requested a bath assessment and bath chair 2 months ago, it didn't happen). He now cannot walk up the stairs, does not leave the house, is doubly incontinent and in pads, and barely speaking anymore). he had been declining prior to the fall but now his state is quite shocking. he's on the living room sofa bed all day, and has the beginnings of a pressure sore.
The washing machine is broken. There was a pile of urine and faeces soiled clothes and bedding on a heap in the kitchen.
My brother is in full on denial mode and just thinks dad is going to continue living at home.
To cap things off Dad's rental flat has flooding because a cowboy builder did not waterproof the new shower, I have got a plumber in he has completely removed the shower and it will take 2 weeks to reinstate because we are waiting on a carpenter, a wall is waterlogged and needs to come down, a new one needs to be built to support the new shower. Will cost at least £1500 to put right and tenants will want compensation for 2 weeks without washing facility.
I have been signed off work for 2 weeks because my blood pressure was dangerously high (also work related stress going on).
I rang a cousin who's a GP and he thinks Dad may have a subdural hematoma, a slow venous bleed around the brain which is impacting his functioning. Only way to know for sure is a brain scan.
All I could do yesterday was go to rental flat to pacify tenants, go to laundrette and wash the stinking pile of stuff, and spend time with Dad and bro.
ICT are delivering a hospital bed, no idea where it will go, Dad was a hoarder, bro is a hoarder, the living room is a hovel and the carpet smells of piss and poo.
Just feel totally overwhelmed and minded to let the professionals deal with it now as i am too weak to take it all on. I have been signed off work for 2 weeks because my blood pressure was dangerously high (also work related stress going on).
I know I should:
Hire a van and do the much needed garage clear out (ignoring my brother's protests as i go along)
Clear assorted junk out of living room
Shift sofa bed into garage
Get on GPs case to get Dad's brain scanned
Attend crisis meeting to weigh up options for Dad's care: respite/ nursing home/ stay at home in micro environment
Chase up incontinence nurse referral, if indeed the referral was made, as I have discovered i can never assume people do what they are supposed to do
Find out why the bath assessment never happened and who is responsible
Get onto council: the wheelie bin has disappeared
Negociate with my manager a further 2 weeks' unpaid leave
Attend meeting with CCG Dad's continuing healhtcare funding is under review in 1 week.
BUT can't face any of it. I feel utterly done in.