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Elderly parents
Original poster

Lighthearted thread....life with my elderly relative.

40 replies

Helenluvsrob · 24/10/2015 22:41

I think need to write a book called " the cake and loo review "!

Now it cooler the only thing dad and I seem to do is go anywhere that provides a little wheel round, tea, cake and hoping the disabled loo is properly accessible ! Webbs gets 10/10 for both, and a bonus point for not minding us sharing a pit of tea, he doesn't drink much when out.

On the other hand, the cinema was a dead loss ! He got fed up after an hour and it was too dark to get out safely. Seemed like a good plan though...

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maisiejones · 05/08/2016 22:00

My 92 year old dad thinks my new car's reversing sensors play Greensleeves. This because the first time I took him out in it, as I reversed off his drive an ice-cream van turned into the street. 😀

BlueJug · 06/04/2016 11:16

Why aren't appointments at dementia clinics are arranged with the main carer. Such a waste of resources. We have just missed one at the clinic - but I knew nothing about it. I only realised because I phoned to see when the next one might be. It was last month.

My Mum simply cannot do appointments. She regularly gets up at 5am, gets stressed because the bus doesn't come and walks to the Doctor's surgery for "imaginary" appointments. She cannot understand why the surgery is closed or they have lost her appointment. V distressing.

whataboutbob · 23/03/2016 08:17

Juggling balls- love it! ( I work in the NHS...).
Sorry to hear re no touching. I can see issues of consent can be problematic but surely it must be a comfort to continue to feel touch and if people in care homes like each other why not?

Original poster
Helenluvsrob · 22/03/2016 23:39

Juggling every time I refer someone to the dementia clinic I chuckle to myself and wonder if the DNAs balance the" wrong day" contingent. Or if really the appointments are just a front and you just see who ever turns up on the day :)

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Jugglingballs65 · 22/03/2016 22:12

Re people forgetting appointments when they have memory problems, I work in a dementia clinic, we were asked by senior managers why we have so many DNAs....hmmm

thesandwich · 22/03/2016 22:03

So this lady says! 😄 I suspect she may have planned trips in spitfires too though.....

thesandwich · 22/03/2016 22:03

Yes!

whataboutbob · 22/03/2016 21:52

Am I reading this correctly- are residents not allowed to touch one another?

thesandwich · 22/03/2016 21:22

Gives them a bit of excitement! Other lady's hubby comes to visit quite often and is quite happy that his wife has company! She was complaining they are not allowed to touch or go to each others rooms- both are paralysed down one side and cannot move unaided!!

whataboutbob · 22/03/2016 21:12

Ex wife maybe he had some good ideas for new car design, and felt he should have got more recognition?!

whataboutbob · 22/03/2016 21:11

Sandwich I'm hoping to pair my Dad off with a very tall, friendly and well spoken lady at his care home. She looks like she might have an interesting past!

thesandwich · 22/03/2016 20:42

No... He was in the merchant navy..... As you say it's a nice place to be! There is a newish lady resident at his home who is very chatty- I'd live to hear some of their chats...... Or maybe not!😎😎

exWifebeginsat40 · 22/03/2016 19:44

my father occasionally claims to have invented the Ford Escort van. I'm fairly sure he didn't, but you never can tell with my dad - he did work at Ford Dagenham in the 70s!

whataboutbob · 22/03/2016 19:40

WOw! That's quite a story! Was he involved in WW2? At least it sounds like a fun place to be (albeit only in his mind).

thesandwich · 22/03/2016 14:51

Hello all.
I know many of you are struggling with elderlies- sending Flowers fil who had a mini stroke recently( in nursing home since major stroke 5 years ago) got the staff to phone dh so he could talk to him. He wanted dh to arrange a party for him and reeled off a whole list of people he wanted toninvite( many very long dead) and also told dh he wanted him to drive him to the south coast as one of his pals was going to fly him to France in his spitfire. He did acknowledge it would be a bit of a squash in the spitfire..... Dh coped very well with the phone call but did depend most of it looking very bemused😗

Original poster
Helenluvsrob · 06/02/2016 18:39

Well we've graduated from m&s cafe to the prosecco bar ....

A stemmed glass can be grasped in the fist as a toddler would and is much easier to drink from than a heavy tea cup ...and prosecco and a nibble of cheese seems to trump the cafe. Especially as you sit at the bar and. They bring out to you - I have to juggle tray and wheelchair in the cafe ( and its upstairs!)

Sadly dads mobility is going downhill. I'm dreading when I can't get him in the car. We will be stuck then :(

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70isaLimitNotaTarget · 24/01/2016 21:20

Grin at these.
I am going to visit my DParents this week (after the Christmas Night visit to A&E ).

My main aim is to help declutter so things are less disorganised.
I've already instructed DDad to buy in a skip some binbags and we'll take as much as possible to the charity shop and the dump for the rest . DDad is all in favour, my DMum will be fine when we get going, I think the first step is the most overwhelming.

WRT toilets- it's me that needs to keep a mental 'map' of loos, I have diverticular disease.

But yes, wherever we go "Do you want a cup of tea" is No 1 priority.

Nydj · 22/01/2016 11:12

These are great - love the '10 past 7 would be fine'! I can't think of any at the moment though.

Upwiththisiwillnotput · 20/01/2016 18:14

Oh dear! DMIL has issues with times and dates as well. She seems to have forgotten about the smoking although who knows what's next - dropping an e and going clubbing? Crack den a la breaking bad?!!

soninlaw · 18/01/2016 02:40

visited FIL mid afternoon (for the second time that day) who's in a care home temporarily.
He said he'd like me to come back in with wife (his daughter) at 7pm.
I said "i might not be able to make in tonight"
he replied "OK - 10 past 7 would be fine"

btw - we went in at 7pm

Original poster
Helenluvsrob · 17/01/2016 08:47

Indeed you cannot. Fortunately the constrains re smoking indoors and safety around smoke alarms are likely to stop her.

Is she likely to forget she asked, or keep on about it?

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Upwiththisiwillnotput · 16/01/2016 21:07

And I can't argue with that!

Upwiththisiwillnotput · 16/01/2016 21:03

The latest: she wants to start smoking again! She is 81 and has COPD, but her reasoning is "well I am going to die anyway, may as well enjoy a fag!"

Upwiththisiwillnotput · 14/01/2016 23:14

I would love to be a fly on the wall at that quiz "night"!! Haha!!

Original poster
Helenluvsrob · 14/01/2016 22:02

Upwiththis that is brilliantly surreal!

It's up there with the scheduled activities in dads care home. The list includes "Wednesday 2pm- quiz night"

😄😄😄😄😄

They have dementia , I think declaring 2pm " night " isn't helping , but heck what does the quiz involve - where is your room? Would you like a biscuit ?

Heck most of thrn couldn't tell you their names!

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