I could scream!

Thank you What. My oh has been telling me exactly that. He keeps telling me I need to stop answering the phone to dsm all the time but it isn't easy. Today she called me four times before I answered she then said she'd kept trying both sb but neither had answered to her.
I counted up the calls I'd either received or made on behalf of dad and dsm this week, not including calls to dsm, 27 from Monday to Friday all while I was working!
This is why I need to start passing more to them whether they like it or not,

Thanks mini, it's the guilt that gets me. My youngest sb does help dsm with practical stuff like he painted a room for her but he is quite clueless on anything to do with Alzheimer's, social services etc. don't get me wrong i didn't know much until I staters having to sort it out for dad then dsm. They both need to realise that there is only one way with this disease, I do struggle with them not getting it when there couldn't be a more graphic example than my dad! In two years he has gone from then quite gentle man he was to someone who had punched a male nurse and grabbing a care worker by the throat, plus many other things along the way. I'm not saying that dsm will go like that but it happens!

Update.
Step brother, who booked estate agent, has accepted she needs sheltered housing and that where I'd taken dsm to look sounded ideal. I told him it was too late as the flat had been taken by someone else. To be completely honest, the fact he'd put dsm off by showing her the trendy place gave me time to think. I would have been moving dsm much closer to me and further from dsbs so more and more of her care would fall to me. Both my oh plus a friend who had similar with her mum, told me to think long and hard about moving her towards me.
I'd said to both step brothers to look for sheltered places as this one had gone but nothing happened so I got on the case instead and found another, only half a mile from where one of them lives and it's in a small town where dsm worked for some years. She is moving in just before Christmas. I've passed on the care providers phone number to one sb as I'm not sure if they cover that area so it gives them time to arrange different cover if needs be. Plus I think it would be helpful to up her care at least for the first few weeks after moving as she will be more confused
I'm trying to pass more of this to them both as I still have my dad who has just left hospital after eight weeks being detained under the
Mental health act in to full time care, he has Alzheimer's too. All the social services and medical arrangements I did for dad I carried on for dsm but there's no reason why her sons shouldn't do it rather than me. I'm first port of call for her to ring so im trying to break that habit too. I spoke to her support worker on Wednesday about the move and her opinion is that moving her is the right thing to do but she thinks it will be short term as she will need full time care before long. Unfortunately I don't think dsbs actually see this, one already said this week that once she moves he will feel better as she will be looked after and will settle quick. Worrying that he's been but seems to think a sheltered housing flat gives the same level of care as a care home.
I'd explained to the support worker what I'm doing regarding passing more responsibility to dsbs as I'm still got my dad to sort, as she said, ithey should be doing gag more but she sees it all the time , it falls to the woman, one sb has seen my dad once since he went in to hospital and the other not at all and neither had he asked me about him or offered to drive dsm the thirty miles to the home he is now in.
It's two years since I started on this road with dad and over the time I've done the lot but I can't spend the next two years doing it for dsm too. I don't think I'm being selfish but I do have a full time job and a life too.

OH and myself have talked endlessly over the weekend about what motives could be and are stumped
I'm the one who deals with the social worker community support worker her carers and GP
Me other sb do the practical stuff in the house but he knows she has a problem
It's got worse since my dad went in to hospital five weeks ago and she understands that he'll never go home which is partly why she wants to move
But going to a two bed tow bathroom all singing all dancing apartment is not the way to go.

I haven't asked him as yet. I spoke to my other step brother who's away at the moment and it's the first he'd heard of it too. I've decided to wait and see how far he'll actually go with it. He's been told via text my dsm needs more care, by my step brother though he's had no reply. That's why I've decided to wait for a few days to see if he'll back off the idea. To be honest I'm livid about it all. She had been to look at them yesterday and kept phoning me to say how lovely they were
I felt awful but I had to tell her I didn't think it was the right place for her to move. I've seen it on the website and yes it all looks very nice but for a lady with Alzheimer's who will be living alone, no way suitable.
Why the hell he chose to get the house valued and not say a thing and why he'd encourage her to buy a fancy apartment which means she needs to sell the house first rather than rent a sheltered housing flat which means no rush to sell, I haven't a clue