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Original poster

My Mum RIP

55 replies

pudcat · 03/02/2014 17:33

My mum passed away at 12.30pm today. I was with her. She was agitated all morning. Her morphine patch was doubled. Suddenly she stopped making noises and shouting Mum, was calm and gradually stopped breathing. I told her Dad was waiting for her and she could go. I hoped it helped her. All her wrinkles went. She is now free from pain. Love you Mum

OP posts:
Original poster
pudcat · 06/02/2014 13:55

I asked the registrar yesterday if we could go back to the drs to get the one who saw Mum last week to do another cert., but she was adamant that she had to inform the Coroner. I am still waiting for that phone call. The funeral director in the meantime has been and collected a new certificate and paper work to allow cremation. He told me to ring the coroner's office to explain and to get new appointment. BUT again when I rang the central phone number they would not give me an appointment because yesterday's registrar had informed the Coroner. They gave me the actual Coroner's number to ring but there is no one there. What an absolutely rediculous system. It has also meant that I have had to ring the pensions dept myself instead of having it done by registrar under their onetellall scheme. Mum died the day before pension day so we have to pay this weeks back.

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whataboutbob · 06/02/2014 13:19

I know this will be no consolation whatsoever, I had a similar experience when I went t register my mum's death. Th e doctor had filled the death certificate incorrectly. They couldn't register the death. I let rip and howled ( easy enough as my lovely mum had died suddenly at age 54). That got them moving. They made some calls and I went back soon after and they registered it. Maybe it s not that uncommon for docs to stuff up on death certificates ?

twentyten · 06/02/2014 10:07

ARRRGH! How appalling. sending you Brew and hugs

Original poster
pudcat · 06/02/2014 08:05

Registrar refused to register death. Shock horror. She said the dr who had signed the cert had ticked she had seen Mum after death but put she had last seen her alive 30th Dec more than 14 days ago. I told her that Mum had only been seen last week for a chest infection and that the cert says the dr signing must have seen the deceased either after death or not more than 14 days before. That means one or the other to me. But no she had to ring coroner in next city. Surprise surprise his day off. So now have to wait in for Coroner to ring me and give his permission to register and than make another appointment at a different town on Saturday.

First time I have actually heard the phrase "It's more than my job's worth"

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twentyten · 05/02/2014 22:06

So sorry pud. Can't find the other thread ThanksThanksThanksThanks for you and WineWine. Be kind to yourself. This too will pass. ThanksThanksThanks

Original poster
pudcat · 05/02/2014 18:59

Rotten afternoon twentyten. See my post on main thread.

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twentyten · 05/02/2014 17:48

How are you doing pud? Thinking of you

furlinedsheepskinjacket · 04/02/2014 22:10

I agree op. unfortunately have been to a fair few funerals over the last year or so - I think single stems in particular look very poignant and beautiful. the money going to charity can do so much good.

Original poster
pudcat · 04/02/2014 21:37

It was a dignified death. I was able to tell her to meet Dad. I am sure she heard me. She was suddenly so calm and opened her eyes. She was loved by all at the home. It will be a simple funeral a fortnight on Friday. I only want a spray of orchids on her coffin, but have been quoted silly prices. I can but 2 orchid plants from Tesco at £12 each and make what I want. I would sooner the money was donated to the NH.

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Shartibartfast · 04/02/2014 21:13

Pudcat, I hope you take this the right way, but your DM seems to have had a dignified and good (crap word) death - you were there, and she was surrounded by love and respect, and it sounds as if her treatment in her last days was as good as it can have been. Good luck in the busy days ahead. When my 92 year old DF died last year DM and I talked a lot about the funeral and tried to make it the best it could be - lots of personal touches and sharing memories of Dad. It really helped to talk about what he would have liked ( and what he would have hated!) when we planned it. I spoke at his funeral, which I found hard, but I am really glad I did it.

twentyten · 03/02/2014 21:37

Thinking of youThanksThanks

Original poster
pudcat · 03/02/2014 20:40

Thank you, this group has been so supportive. Mum was 91. I was so pleased I was there and she was not alone. She had amazing care from the NH. All the staff - nurses, carers, housekeeping, Nathan the maintenance man (who was with me when Mum stooped thrashing about and making gurgling noises in her throat) all came to say goodbye to Mum. They were all crying. They truly loved her. Nathan realised what was happening and pressed the panic button. 2 nurses ran down the corridor and saw her and said she was going. I held her and told her I loved her and it was time to go. She opened her eyes and finally gave in. My sons came over by which time the carers had got Mum ready and dressed her in her favourite dress and put her 2 favourite teddies in her arms. My sons were not sure if they wanted to see her but they did and we sat around Mum crying, laughing and talking about her for over an hour until the funeral home came. It just seemed the right thing to do. Funeral director was so kind. Now all the running around starts. Best to keep busy though.

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CatAmongThePigeons · 03/02/2014 20:07

Sorry for your loss Flowers

DioneTheDiabolist · 03/02/2014 20:04

I am so sorry for your loss Pudcat.

xxMrsCxx · 03/02/2014 19:56

Sorry for your loss, you sound like an amazing daughter Thanks x

Shartibartfast · 03/02/2014 19:53

I am so sorry Thanks

Take care of yourself over the next few days and weeks.

whataboutbob · 03/02/2014 19:50

Sorry for your loss, you have been a faithful daughter.

oskybosky4 · 03/02/2014 19:43

So sorry Pud, she will be at peace now.

wordsmithsforever · 03/02/2014 19:29

Thanks That sounds really hard pud - take care of yourself.

CMOTDibbler · 03/02/2014 19:29

I'm so very sorry for your loss Pudcat. Glad you were able to be with your mum at the end and that it was peaceful xx

twentyten · 03/02/2014 19:26

So very sorry pud. Sending you hugs.

Needmoresleep · 03/02/2014 17:50

All my condolences.

DrankSangriaInThePark · 03/02/2014 17:45

Sorry for your loss. Flowers She is at peace now. x

hollyisalovelyname · 03/02/2014 17:44

May she rest in peace. What age was she Pudcat?

LIZS · 03/02/2014 17:38

:( so sorry

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