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Elderly parents

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Original poster

My Mum RIP

55 replies

pudcat · 03/02/2014 17:33

My mum passed away at 12.30pm today. I was with her. She was agitated all morning. Her morphine patch was doubled. Suddenly she stopped making noises and shouting Mum, was calm and gradually stopped breathing. I told her Dad was waiting for her and she could go. I hoped it helped her. All her wrinkles went. She is now free from pain. Love you Mum

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oskybosky4 · 28/02/2014 22:37

Hi Pud, oh dear! that must have been a great shock, thank goodness you weren't more seriously hurt, although severe bruising will be very painful I imagine, then you will start thinking of what might have been.

I hope you have someone who will look after you the next couple of weeks, your DH, son or DIL - you need to be taken care of for a while.

I will be thinking of you and hoping your injuries get better soon.

I am OK, sort of, but very tired.

I will keep in contact with you to see how you are getting on.

CelticPromise · 28/02/2014 22:13

I'm very sorry pud. I can relate to you wanting to talk about your last time with your mum. I thinkthink of those times with my mum often. Wishing you strength and peace.

Original poster

pudcat · 28/02/2014 21:43

Hi osky. Not good. I hit a car today which had gone through a red light. Have just got home from the hospital, with severe bruising. That is all thank goodness. How are you?

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oskybosky4 · 27/02/2014 10:25

How are you Pud.

Original poster

pudcat · 23/02/2014 12:25

Not too bad. I keep telling myself that Mum is in a better place and not suffering. I just wish there was something to tell me she is OK. We collected £100 for the home from only a few people - so I will take that to them this week. They are having an Easter Fair soon so I will make some crafty things for them. I feel though as a big responsibility has gone. I do not have to listen for the phone going each night. Have got to get used to not visiting as well. I am not getting any younger, so have told DH that now we must start going out a bit more while we can. But to take each day as it comes. If that makes sense.

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oskybosky4 · 23/02/2014 12:11

Pud, how are you feeling now.

oskybosky4 · 21/02/2014 22:13

Sleep well tonight Pud, will be thinking of you.

Original poster

pudcat · 21/02/2014 21:21

Well Mum has gone on her final journey. It was a lovely simple service. We had a spray of orchids from all the family on the coffin and donations for Mum's wonderful care home. The funeral director was so kind and caring and looked after Mum well. Not many at the funeral, my cousins came back to my house and we remembered lots of daft things about Mum and her sister who died 6 months ago. My 2 oldest granddaughters were so brave as it was the first funeral they had ever been to.
Mum is now with Dad again. I took a photo of Dad with me to give me strength to get through the day. Perhaps now I will sleep.

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oskybosky4 · 20/02/2014 23:56

I will be thinking about you tomorrow. Sorry I would have messaged earlier but DIL been here all evening.

Original poster

pudcat · 19/02/2014 18:05

Osky I didn't know it would be this hard. I am so tired with lack of sleep. I wake up about 3 am and toss and turn. I suppose now I just want it all to be over, I have never been one for ceremonies. I am baking tomorrow so that will help that day pass. Maybe after Friday I will sleep.
Just hoping my sister will not cause a scene with our cousins. She doesn't like them. And my sister says she will not get upset on the day because she does not do "upset". I have rung her everyday to make sure she is OK and gone over to see her - she lives an hour away. But she has not once rung me to see how I am so DH said to leave her for a while. So I haven't rung since Sunday and not a peep out of her.

The flowers were a lovely thought.
We will get through it osky, we will do our Mums proud.

It doesn't help that one of Mum's friends from the CH died today. They were both in hospital together in the same ward last year. And they were both told they had to go to a NH the same day. I taught all of this lady's grandchildren.

Take care osky - remember the good times.

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oskybosky4 · 19/02/2014 16:15

Pud, just checking in to see how you are today.

My stomach is in knots and I feel very anxious today.

I just had a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered, from my middle sons ex partner, she lives in another part of the country so couldn't bring them herself. This was so kind of her.

i did manage to tidy up an clean the downstairs and DH put clean bedding on for when my 2 sons come to stay tomorrow. He has been keeping my business ticking over but doesn't know where anything goes [he says] so the kitchen table needs sorting out now as thats where he has dumped everything.

Its very hard isn't it, but try to keep your spirits up.

oskybosky4 · 08/02/2014 22:18

Thats a good idea, does the home where she was have someone or the chaplin at the hospital. It must be so hard when you need to talk it through.

Original poster

pudcat · 08/02/2014 22:10

I tried but he doesn't want to know the details. I have decided to write it all down and see if that does the trick. Then if anyone does want to know they can read it in private.

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oskybosky4 · 08/02/2014 21:19

Can you talk to your son he may want to talk too but darn't ask for fear of upsetting you.

Shartibartfast · 08/02/2014 18:16

Perhaps people think it's all a bit raw for you at the moment, and you don't want to talk about it? You've plenty of listening ears here, but I know what you mean; it really helps to talk IRL. You may find that people who have been through the loss of a parent might understand a bit better that it's helpful to talk.

Original poster

pudcat · 08/02/2014 18:09

All went well today. The registrar said we were the third re-registrations today as other certs not correct. Not the same drs I hasten to say. I have the funeral director coming on Tuesday to sort out cremation arrangements.
Seems strange that I haven't been visiting. For the most part I am OK, but then all of a sudden I think of something and floods of tears come.
I am also a bit bothered that no one wants to know how her last time with me was. I want to talk to someone but no one wants to know.

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twentyten · 08/02/2014 17:16

Hope it went well.how are you doing?

Shartibartfast · 08/02/2014 16:36

Hi Pud, hope you had a better experience this morning.

Original poster

pudcat · 08/02/2014 09:15

Well off to try and register Mum's death soon. Hope we can do it today. And let's hope this registrar is a little more compassionate than Wednesday's.

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Shartibartfast · 07/02/2014 09:41

What a PITA for you Pud - you must feel as if the world is conspiring against you!

Hope there are no hitches when you register tomorrow.

oskybosky4 · 06/02/2014 19:01

Hope it goes alright for you, a lot of unnecessary stress for you at this time though.

Original poster

pudcat · 06/02/2014 15:37

The coroner has rung at long last. He is satisfied it was a dr's error. I now have an appointment on Saturday morning. So fingers crossed.

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whataboutbob · 06/02/2014 14:12

I don t understand the system but it does sound as if she could be a lot more helpful . My experience was many years ago, but the onus was not at all on me to chase people up, the registrar s office did that. They contacted the hosp doc who'd done the certificate .

twentyten · 06/02/2014 14:00

You could so much do without this.

Original poster

pudcat · 06/02/2014 13:56

I am sure that the registrar yesterday could have rung the dr to sort it out. We asked but she refused.

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