The church wrote to my mother saying there's a memorial service in the next few weeks for my father and other parishioners who have passed away recently on a Sunday evening at 630pm. Very touching and my mother is keen to go. The vicar conducted my fathers funeral and was supportive as my dads death although in his 70's was sudden and unexpected. He passed away 3 months ago and my mother is devastated as am I. My mum has been very ill since his death, lost mobility although is recovering but she is very depressed. She spent a period in hospital directly after the funeral and I could not support her as I was heavily pregnant and then had the baby. I don't live locally ( 50 miles ) but I've been spending time every week there at least once a week going up by train with a newborn. My husband is a gem and has helped. He looks after ds1 who is 3 . We have stayed weekends and we are slowly trying to sort out bills , my dads estate etc when my mother asks. She can be demanding but we recognise she wants to retain control and independence so "back off" as it gets stressful.
It has been an absolute blur the last 3 months. A particular "highlight" was the first night she came home and I had to call the paramedics because I thought she had a stroke again. I was exhausted bring ds2 at 3 weeks whilst the ambulance crew came in! Dh couldn't be there. Ss enablement carers pop in 3 times a day but this will shortly end. I have no siblings . Relatives are all elderly. My ils are helpful and have given practical support but they are not local
I've arranged for my mum to come on our holiday with us in 2 weeks and this church service is at the end of that week. I don't want to stop off enroute that night. Dh would be negotiating busy motorways at 9 pm. I'd be apart again from ds3. We are due to move and complete shortly too. I want to move forward now. I've not had time to grieve and
I don't want to go to the service. Mum is desperate to go and suggestions that a friend or neighbour take her is not going down well. She wants me there. It's an hour of my life I know but baby will cry ( colicky in the pm) and its just...well hassle I could do without that week .
Yr opinions?
Ps we are not regular churchgoers either and my dad didn't believe in " religious mumbo jumbo"