what is wrong with my Mum?

My Mum is in a care home now, and not liking it. We are waiting for a place to come up in the home close to me, which I think she will like more, and hoping that time there will help us assess whether or not she could cope for another year or so in a home of her own, if it was close to me or my brother. I agree with the guilt, it is so hard, I hate to see her upset. We've had a tricky relationship in many ways but now she is old and so frail I just feel very protective of her and want to make sure she is happy.

To update for all you kind people who posted, and in case anyone else is going through similar:
After much badgering we finally got a repeat psych assessment. The original one felt she was basically fine, even though they'd had a long chat about her stay in the hospital in her home town. (There is no such place, but the psych didn't know that and was somewhat embarrassed I think). Anyway the new guy thinks she has some vascular dementia, post stroke, but also the beginnings of Lewy body. My Dad had this as a result of Parkinsons, can't quite get my head round another parent with the same thing, as it was pretty grim. She will also start to develop Parks-like symptoms because of the Lewy body. Her gait is already affected, hence the frequent falls. All very upsetting but far better to know. She has gone downhill already though, and may never be able to live alone again. She wants to move into a bungalow near me, at the moment she is moving from hospital to a temp care home place. She was sent home from hospital a few weeks ago, and lasted less than 24 hours before she had to press her alarm as she fell and couldn't get up. So she's there again. I'm still hoping she might get a year or so in a pretty bungalow with a flower filled garden, but it isn't looking likely. . Her big sister died a couple of days ago, my poor Mum.

Mum has (at last) agreed to power of attorney, so that will hopefully be started soon. DB and I had it with Dad, so we are familiar with the process etc. She was falling victim to loads of scams at home, the kind of thing where they tell you that you will get a cheque for x amount, you just need to send them £100 or whatever to release the money. We've returned all her junk mail and put db's voice on her telephone, routing through to him at the moment. She had a pile over a foot high of dodgy scam type mailouts.
DB said she was much brighter when he saw her earlier this week, she is worse when tired. The reablement team have been taken off and social services put on to her case instead, so hopefully all will be sorted to keep her safe at home. We are also thinking of a temporary stay in an old people's home while we find somehwhere for her to live near me or DB, possibly a warden supervised type of thing. At the moment she is just so vulnerable, and although she's been told she must not go upstairs when she goes home, there is no doubt in my mind that she will do it when home alone, and that is a huge fall risk as the stairs are steep. . Thanks for all the kind messages all.

She saw a psychiatrist yesterday. I saw her on Saturday and she seemed low (understandable), rather distracted and bothered by the other women on the ward, and sometimes confused. The psychiatrist feels she has something called "derealisation", in response to the traumas of losing Dad and the fall. She said it was quite common, and that it meant Mum was mixing up reality and non-reality. I don't know, I didn't speak to her, DB did, so I didn't get to chat about it, but although I can see elements of that in my Mum I also think maybe there is something else going on- the above poster who described her mum's post-stroke vascular dementia, that sounds very like the way Mum is now. We still haven't been given a date for a meeting with the team, and they seem to be making more steps towards a discharge. She wouldn't be safe alone at home in her present state, so I am panicking slightly about what happens next.

Thanks Greenhill.

I don't understand why she is getting almost a 100% score on the mini mental test and then is so confused at night-time that she doesn't know where she is. Also the needing to wee a lot at night is strange isn't it? I think it is likely she has a UTI-( a couple of years ago she was sent home from hospital, really not right and confused, after I had repeatedly asked for her to be tested for a UTI . DH was with her and he called out her GP- sure enough, UTI, and after meds she was ,masses better and back to her normal self. ) I just don't know if this could all be down to that, certainly the sister thought not. Am very worried. Also worried that she was able to get out of her bed, out of the ward and into a corridor without anyone seeing (she has a broken leg and is only walking with a zimmer and help by day, so whether she was using the zimmer or not she would have been very slow.)

Cider, as far as I know, you can get Lewy body along with Parkinsons, as my Dad did, but Lewy Body dementia can itself produce Parkinsons like symptoms, the movement issues etc. I am so sorry for your Mum, it is hideous.
I made a mistake earlier, after talking to db, he said Mum's score on the mini-mental was 29 out of 30, not 24 as I thought. So we are at a bit of a loss as to what is going on.. There was a crisis in the night, the hospital called me at 7a.m., Mum had wandered into the corridor and fallen/was sitting on the floor. She said she was "looking for the post box" .
The Ward sister said that she is much more confused at night-time, and that she constantly needs to wee at night, so they've sent off for a urine culture, but she felt the confusion was more fundamental than a UTI and that Mum would not be able to go home. (the unspoken word "ever" was hanging in the ether). She didn't say "care home" outright, but that was clearly what she was getting at, so I feel horrible upset today. Not helped by me picking up the call and thinking she might have died, as we got an early morning call when Dad died. the ward sister is arranging a meeting which db and I will go along to if we both can, to work out where we go now. .

will ask for a B12 check.
Cider, does your Mum have Parkinsons then? My Dad also had Lewy Body dementia,( with Parkinsons) he had horrible nightmares and paranoid delusions, very distressing. I have wondered about vascular dementia with Mum as she has had two strokes we think (when she had the main one, they found signs of an earlier stroke). I should google though as I don't know much about it.

hatgirl are there any tests we should be asking them to do that would give a clearer picture, like the memory clinic suggested earlier?

Piglet- no pets at home, no.
Teacake- swollen tongue? Interesting, as I had no idea about that. Very helpful to know.Thanks for that and no you didn't sound bossy! I am really grateful.
hatgirl- that is also really helpful. She does seem to keep up with conversations, she remembered all the details of where we were going to stay when house-sitting, and wasn't confused about that, its the imagined stuff that is strange, although it may well have its roots in half-overheard converstions. The imagined ward trip to see us is worrying, but more disturbing to me is that she repeats that to db and I without being able to see that it would be impossible. And she looked so worried herself when I gently said that no, it hadn't happened. Only db and son had come.