Dad is 80. Has had Parkinson's for 3-4 years. Has lived alone (Mum died 8 years ago) in sheltered accommodation near me for last 6 years.
Things were getting a bit hard for him, and I had flagged up to his GP that I thought he wasn't coping on his own:
- he wasn't washing / couldn't get in bath etc
- wasn't eating proper meals
- stopped socialising in communal activities of the building
- Losing weight and very low blood pressure
we had a carer coming in to bath him 2-3 times a week, and I'd just put in place another one to come in and prepare meals, but then he had a fall which put him in hospital.
He was very confused, so discharged to a nursing home for a period of convalescence, and to give us time to assess how he was once he 'recovered'.
That was a month ago, and he's still there. We now need to decide what next.
GP says she thinks he needs to be in care, but not nursing care.
I took him for a trial visit to a nice residential home, but they said they couldn't take him, as he 'needed too much care' - they said he definitely needed nursing care!
He would be self-funding, so social services don't seem very keen to do an assessment 
He seems to find the communal/social aspect of care homes rather stressful, and I'm just wondering if it really is such a good idea, or whether he couldn't still manage at home with numerous carers coming in.
HOWEVER - he was beginning to do things at home which were becoming worrying e.g. putting fresh food away in cupboards until it was green with mould/ putting potatoes in pan on cooker without water/ putting things in weird places (electric razor in fridge/ dirty cereal bowls behind curtains etc)
Sitting in dirty, food-stained clothes, not washing face etc.
I certainly feel a huge relief knowing that he is safe and cared for in a home, but I wonder if it IS the right thing for him?
He can't articulate what he wants - I just don't know how to decide!