dad went suddenly blind at 83: advice please on how to help him

To our happy surprise dad has turned a corner! He is sitting up, alert and breathing, though the tube is still down. He has a marvellous nurse, has had the same one for three days which has been fantastic. His pain relief is about right. He is coughing and gagging on the tube though which is very worrying. But they turn the pain relief off to help him wake up for a short time every day. This will strengthen his muscles. His eyes are better- he is alert and looking around and taking in all that happens in the ITU. He is signing because he can't talk with the tube down. So happy.

We had a good meeting. Everyone agreed that dad needed pain relief, and since then he has been prescribed some and is more settled. He is very very weak now and even with the best nursing and medical care I fear he will not survive.
We would so like to scoop him up and bring him home.

They rotate because 'the nurses like variety'.
Nothing to do with the patients then.

In three weeks he has only ever had the same nurse twice.

Dad is stable on his ventilator and, thank goodness, they have been sedating him.
He is stuck because he has a different nurse every day and they don't want to /can't be bothered to wean him off. Its bizarre- the consultants will say that the tube will come out tomorrow and ask the nurse to change the settings, and it simply doesn't happen. There is a lack of nursing will to progress him, in case he deteriorates, and the doctors, who are more confident, simply aren't around enough.
The nurses are dead keen for dad to have a tracheostomy- it makes it easier for them. But dad didn't want anyone to cut his throat so we've told the staff in writing that he and we don't want that. They are cross. Families and patients shouldn't have opinions. We have been hauled up before a panel of 5 tomorrow, only one of whom is actually involved in dad's care.
Mum and I are shattered.

Wonderful news today: the eye doctors have been and say that dad can see light with the blind eye! His eyes are improving with all the drops!

Thank goodness dad was sedated last night and this morning when they woke him up the consultant on today said he was clearly very active and uncomfortable and recommended pain relief. I could have cried with relief. Thank goodness.

They stopped the sedation yesterday morning and for pain relief put him on oral paracetamol. I made a fuss and they (after an hour of arguing) gave the paracetamol iv as per prescription but it is smashing his liver to bits.

Dad is still on a ventilator in ITU. His chest is getting better but his heart in infected.
The latest torture has been to stop the sedation and pain relief and make him wake up with his ventilator tube stuck down his throat. He has been coughing and gagging and tears coming out of his eyes, all day, and the saddest thing has been watching his head twist and turn and his weak hand come up to try to move the tube, and his tongue coming out to try and push it out. He is triggering all his breaths himself .The nurse says and the consultant says he cannot have the tube out, and the nurse has refused to give him any sedation and refuses to accept that he is in pain and discomfort and is suffering and we have watched him suffer for 10 hours today and I have argues with the nurse to no avail even when the consultant said to sedate him because the tube wasnt coming out today. He must be so tired and it is so sad and distressing and inhuman.
I dont care how many degrees or courses they have been on, or how clever they think they are, I think the nurse today was one of the most inhuman persons I have come across in my life.

I dont feel grateful any more. I should, but I dont.

Different tortures are devised for dad everyday
today it is very high flow cold oxygen via facemask which bubbles loudly and dries up the nostrils and throat. freezing the face and making the voice so hoarse one cannot be understood.
After 2 weeks the family and he are so tired of him being seriously ill, watching him gasp for every breath, while people do endless blood tests and x rays and washes and always always seem to be t him so he has had no rest.
He wont eat any hospital food at all now.

Thank you- it really helps to know someone is out there

Dad has fewer tubes in and is no longer in renal failure but still in serious heart failure. He is getting black spots in his good eye, the other eye is still blind. The hospital are being very very very slow about treating his eyes or transferring him to a specialist unit. It has been so distressing as each consultant just seems to wash their hands of him because he is old. Yesterday evening he was transferred from ITU to the ward and the ward have now got him on hourly observations because he is so ill, so he isn't getting any sleep at all and is exhausted.
No consultant or senior doc appears to be in charge any more. They decided he would not be transferred to a specialist eye unit (because he is old nad his blind eye has been written off) and instead want him to go down to eye clinic in a wheel chair tomorrow. He cant it in a wheelchair as yet as he is too ill and is still in a lot of oxygen. I think he is simply going to loose the sight in his 'good eye' . Worst of all is watching him suffer and in pain.
Yesterday, to cap it all, the speech therapist said he could have something to eat and the ward gave him meat- he is a Hindu vegetarian. So are his children and grandchildren and his entire family for thousands of years. It was clearly on his records. Matron gave me a written apology after I complained about the smirking staff nurse who did it - but the apology was 'at your request' so clearly through gritted teeth.