dad went suddenly blind at 83: advice please on how to help him

How's it going, funnyperson? I was sad to see you say your dear dad didn't smile as much as he used to. Hope you are all well.

I had lost sight of this thread. I'm sorry you're still struggling to make things better for your dad, funnyperson.

I do so feel for you. This is why I am very, very grateful that I can still cope with my husbands needs and that he can still make it to the toilet on his own.
I know what you mean about the loneliness too, but at the same time dh can't cope with a lot of noise around him.
I know what you mean about the indignity too, I saw that happening to a friend with Parkinson's.

Sorry it's so hard funnyperson .

Glad you're getting things sorted and that your dad is at home .

As you say the life of a frail vulnerable person is heartbreaking .
They don't get the care they need .
You're right ,it's not discussed .

So sorry you and your family are going through this .

You need to be back to the district nurses at your dad's surgery. Ask for an urgent visit as you have a lot of concerns. They should come the same day.

Perhaps the authorities are less concerned because your mother is present ?

You may need to stress impact on her ?

And that she would like to be part of a team caring for your dad ,not someone given no information , watching carers turn up when they like and giving her instructions to help them carry out an unknown and unagreed care plan .

I don't think you need to know the name of a meeting - just say that you have concerns and want to discuss .

Actually thinking about it - I would phone your parents Local Authority SS ,speak to duty SW ,say father discharged from hospital on X and that you have not been given any info about his current care arrangements ( who provides it ,who you should talk to if concerned ,how it was agreed on ,how long it will continue ) and ask them who you need to speak to .

IME ( sorry ) the LA SW's can give clear details of the procedures - who does what and for how long when someone like your dad discharged .

It's ridiculous to change his pyjamas unless they need changing . Tell them not to do it .

I'm said to the SW I'd like her to meet Mum and myself at Mum's to discuss the situation with her surgical stockings and to work out a way forward with her care. I guess if you were ringing you'd probably say you want a Care Plan meeting?

I've made that up but I bet such a thing exists. Maybe try to get someone from Social Services to come out, say on the phone the sheets the carers were signing have disappeared and that you are concerned about Safeguarding as your Father is a Vulnerable Adult and as such Social Services have a duty of care. Then anything said follow up in email to SS and cc his GP.

No idea if that's the right way to go about it , someone hopefully will ? But I noticed as soon as I got across to the SW that she'd just let an old lady in the process of a Dementia diagnosis and who is supposed to be wearing surgical stockings be in the position where she'd have no Carer for at least 3 days, she started to sound worried. I've been reading the Alzheimer's forum and I know your Dad's situation is different but it's 'vulnerable adult, safeguarding, duty of care' which apparently gets action quickly. Your poor Dad, why on earth are they changing his PJ's each time.

Gingeroots is right about the disagreements about various parties. We has SS trying to push the OT assessment over to the GP.

Have you tried asking the carers who their manager is and how to contact them ?
It's perfectly reasonable to want to know details of the care provided .

My guess is that it's the standard 6 weeks provision after discharge .
The hospital should have their own Social Workers who will know and can advise on the next step .

I suspect you find my input less than helpful but IME one of the issues with care has been use of equipment by carers ( their training ,lack of training and disagreements between care agencies and local authority OT ,when that very scarce commodity is available ) .

If your father is going to move onto a more permanent care package and will continue to need a hoist of some kind then you may wish to try to forestall problems by asking about ability to use particular equipment now .

But none of this is easy and must be even harder for your mother and for you not wanting to step on her toes .

Never mind have a life of your own .

My Mum is on her last day of Reablement tomorrow. She's got a book they all have to sign nd it has the Care Manager's number on the front. In addition she's got a Social Worker who is finally going to show up on Wednesday as I have asked her to come to a meeting.

I'm backing all phone calls up with emails now as I've found it's very easy for things to be overlooked. I think in your position I'd email the Adult Access Team and say you are very concerned not to have seen a formal care plan, that your Father is a vulnerable Adult and it is important to have a plan in place for safeguarding purposes. That you're worried about the stress of not having a proper care plan in place is having on your mother and you are noticing she is starting to withdraw.

Not really. Only when I read about how they (mis)treated your poor father I couldn't help posting my own experiences in the hope that they might just help you help your father.
And the hospice has been so lovely to us that I wanted to share that with you as well.

No, not a bit of it.
When my dh was referred for palliative care (care but not cure) the Mac nurse said:"Don't think that you will be dead in six months time now you've been referred to us. I have patients that I've had for two or three years and they come to us for a bit of care and then they go home again and they can do that several times." Dh went in for a fortnight to have his machine adjusted as he could no longer travel to London and when he got a chest infection over Christmas the out of hours GP phoned them (at our request) rather than the general hospital. They would have had them, could have done intravenous antibiotics and patched him up and sent him home. Only they thought he would be better at home and so we did.

Sounds like good advice Dutch ,so many areas don't have OT or speech therapists ,or share them with other areas and are hugely over stretched .

So brilliant if such services can be accessed another way .

As far as service ( excuse my pause for laughing as I know how patchy and poor the provision can be ,and no surprise given the pay ,training and organisation ) from carers go I would try and talk to carers and find out who their manager is and phone them to try and work out if it's a temporary arrangement ( and not worth the considerable energy needed to sort out ) and if it is ,how the next stage is planned .

Is there any benefit/possibility in contacting your local hospice? This could be done via district nurse who would speak to the Gp or to MacMillan nurses direct. He doesn't have to have cancer to be referred to MacMillan nurses and local hospice. After what happened, I would think that your dad would flatly refuse hospital admission again.
We have avoided carers' visits so far, but have had lots of support by way of the local hospice. Occupational and speech therapist and physio has been provided in the amount we wished for. None of it has come from the hospital or social services

Someone must have decided on some sort of package for the 4 visits to be provided .

Unless your family have arranged it themselves ?

As far as I remember ( I'm sure others on here know more ) there is 6 weeks of care/reenablement at home on discharge from hospital .Then an assesment by SS and a care package put in place .

Who are the carers managers ? Can you phone them to discuss the situation and the future ?

funnyperson I'm so glad that your father is home but it must still be very stressful for you all .

Carers are a whole new ball game to cope with and I hope the random timing of their visits won't be on going .
It's horribly intrusive having even just one carer once a day at an agreed time ,so to have them coming any old time must be unbearable .

Even with the 6 week rehab package on discharge from hospital ,I've never heard of carers just coming when it suits them .

If they're coming as part of a long term care package the time of their visits should have been agreed with regard to what meets your father's needs .

Maybe your father is still in the 6 week period before the care is re assessed handed over to SS and a more long term package is put together ?