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Elderly parents
Original poster

84yr old mum sent home with gangrene in her foot, need advice desperately.

54 replies

triplets · 06/06/2012 22:35

Its a long story but basically my mum is in a nursing home for respite care. She has dry gangrene in all her toes on her right foot and its now spreading underneath the foot, its so awful to look at as it must be kept open. She cannot walk but is supposed to be coming home with lots of nhs equipment to help. I just do not understand how we are suposed to cope, how can a foot like that just be left?? The team at the hospital said surgery was too risky, her aorta is blocked so they sent her home. Surely she can`t be left like this?

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TheSandgroper · 02/02/2020 12:36

This thread is from 8 years ago. I rather think the the situation has resolved by now.

Tuner · 25/01/2020 13:55

Hi my mother has the exact same situation happening, Residence Care is best and comfortable for your mother, I learnt that you have to know everything about your mums situation, sometimes you. Have to ask all the questions, your mother my mother needs 24 hr realise medication so there never in pain, jurnista is the.cleanest opiate for there organs , start a 2mg , I promised my mum I wouldn’t let her die in pain, you just have to make sure they up the dose as time goes by 😢🌹💔 it’s sad and so cruel to watch your mother dieing in front of your eyes, so mums home is 5 min away, honestly in joy your mother keep her out of pain , let her eat drink and do what ever pleases her and yourself, im cherishing every moment I have , I can take my bullterrie to the mums home , you can visit 24hr which is really great 🤗💕🌹.
My mum can’t have the op i ether and she doesn’t want to be chopped up , I respect her wish and I wouldn’t want to live being chopped up , apparently it is horrific pain,
24hr realise pain management is the only way , jurnista hrdro morphine

6 hr & 12 hr realise is no good because they still have pain until the medication keeps kicking in,
Hope that helps a little , god bless to you and your mother xxoo

pippop1 · 12/07/2012 16:08

Might you record a brief message updating callers onto your answer machine and then ignore the phone?

Let them leave a message and say you'll listen to them very soon.

Original poster
triplets · 06/07/2012 21:42

Hi, spent most of today doing the official stuff, not as bad as I though it would be. Felt sad and unreal seeing her name in the local paper, made it suddenly seem so final. Dreading tomorrow, I have to go to her house as the NHS loan store is collecting everything they provided for her, she didn`t get to use any of it :( Kids alot better today, ds got over his mega tantrum last night, both boys out at the ATC and Becca staying over with a friend. Three whole hours of peace....................if only the phone had stopped ringing! Thank you all x

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pinguwings · 06/07/2012 10:06

I've just read this thread and feel so much for you triplets. Life has a way of throwing everything at us at once and it sounds like you've done a fantastic job of coping. Take each day as it comes.

I really hope you get some answers regarding your Mum's treatment and that there's some good news for your DH. Give yourself the time and opportunity to cry and grieve.

Lemonylemon · 06/07/2012 09:45

Triplets Am thinking of you and your family.......

Re the kids - gah, they pick up on the slightest thing and then play merry hell..... I have it with my kids and my Mum's situation. Sad hugs to you.

gingeroots · 06/07/2012 08:51

Thinking of you triplets and your DH .

I am in awe of the way you are dealing with all that life is heaping on you .

Original poster
triplets · 05/07/2012 23:15

Hi , such lovely messages, thank you all x
A very fraught day, phone never stopped ringing, then we had to go back to the hospital to collect the certificate. We also went back to the ward to give the staff on the renal ward a hamper of goodies, they were so supportive and kind to us. On our way in we bumped straight into the consultant who spoke to us 12 hours before Mum died. He asked if we were alright.............we told him plainly how we felt. He asked if we were going to take things further and said he wouldn`t blame us. Came home to absolute hell with the kids, well two of them. Selfish and rude and totally out of order. At 6pm Harry and I were sat in my shed almost in tears with the whole situation. Thank you for asking Lemony, he is going for a ct scan next week to check his lung as it appears they may not have got all the tumour out 8 weeks ago. So on we go. xx

OP posts:
bumpybecky · 05/07/2012 14:15

I'm so sorry triplets xx

Lemonylemon · 05/07/2012 14:08

Triplets Was lurking on your thread - but delurking to say how sorry I am to read about your Mum. Hugs to you. How's your husband doing with his oncologist/chemo?

FayeGovan · 05/07/2012 11:36

I'm really sorry triplets, hugs to you and your family xx

CMOTDibbler · 05/07/2012 11:27

I'm so sorry xx

gingeroots · 05/07/2012 10:27

Oh triplets ,so ,so sorry .

Jot down as much as you can about her care while fresh in your mind and deal with it later .

hugs

MortaIWombat · 05/07/2012 00:34

I'm so sorry, triplets. AW x

LemonEmmaP · 05/07/2012 00:03

So very sorry to hear that triplets. I'll be thinking of you.

WandaDoff · 04/07/2012 23:57

I'm so sorry, my love xx

SerialKipper · 04/07/2012 23:46

Oh triplets! So very sorry. Thinking of you.

Bossybritches22 · 04/07/2012 23:37

Oh triplets so sorry to hear this news of your poor lovely mum.

Un MN hugs to you all xx

whojamaflip · 04/07/2012 23:20

So sorry to hear about your mum - my thoughts are with you and yours x

Original poster
triplets · 04/07/2012 23:12

Thank you Pip, I feel in such a dream like state today, it hasn`t hit me. Feel like I am carrying a huge weight around my heart. x

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piprabbit · 03/07/2012 23:51

Oh triplets - I'm so sorry that you have lost your lovely mum. I'll be thinking of you and your family.

Original poster
triplets · 03/07/2012 23:36

hello.............my lovely mum died at 12,40am today in hospital, she never made it home. She suffered alot of pain despite being put on a driver pump. I cannot believe she has gone. So much went wrong for her, we have alot of issues with her care, when I can get my head around it all I want to stand up and have her awful treament acknowledged. Than you all for you past support and kindness. x

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Original poster
triplets · 09/06/2012 23:05

Hi........more lovely kind words, thank you. Sorry to hear your grandad is going through the is too PP, it really is such a nightmare of a situation. I went to see her today and half the family turned up, there were nine of us there! Never seen the staff so attentive!! She was very sleepy when we went in but perked up after a while. I took my tongs etc in and did her hair for her, that made her feel better. Wish I could wave a magic wand and make everybody better, my mind is always trying to jump one step ahead to fix things! My dh got an appt today to see the oncologist next Thurs, praying she doesn`t say chemo for the summer:(

OP posts:
gingeroots · 09/06/2012 09:32

pickledparsnip
One thing I will say is to keep on top of the nurses and the care your mum receives. In my Grandpa's case he is seen by so many different people and vital information doesn't always get passed on. My Mum has kept a close eye on his care and called the doc many times when nurses didn't

too right !

It's taken me ages to overcome my feeling that I should leave it to the professionals and musn't "interfere " .
There are some lovely and professional nurses and I find they can give helpful advice , but often it's necessary to get the Team Leader in . And that doesn't always work .

But it's the lack of continiuty that drives me insane .

It does sound like rather serious failings in the health professionals part that have led to triplets mum being in this situation .

gingeroots · 09/06/2012 09:24

PS I decant drinks into an empty " sports cap " water bottle for my mum so it's easier for her just to grab and sip .