I despair, I wish I could just not care, but dear god give me strength

I am glad they are home too.

Glad they are home

My g'dad muddles his words a lot. Or forgets the right word. He also got very bonkers with previous infections. May be a common thing?

That's good they have an appetite. Worrying about the word mix up but we can all do that I suppose?

Let's hope they get on ok with the carer?

That's great advice from 40notTrendy. Will keep our fingers crossed for you, KBear - this is a very good start at least.

That's great. Def get the attendance allowance sorted. Would they consider meals on wheels? My g'dad has them and Wiltshire foods. The advantage is that it's another person going in to check all is ok. Ours has been a godsend, as she is often more astute than the carers at picking up when g'dad is not so good.
I'd also advise making sure your MIL/FIL know that it's not you making decisions about what care is needed, it's social services. G'dad often moans about the carers and if he's not well he blames my mum for 'all these people coming in and out' v frustrating as we know they are only there to help ( and to give us peace of mind!). My mum can then say "it's been arranged by ss, not me".
Important to look after yourself (and your family too). I know how these things can absorb you.

Definitely apply for attendance allowance - it's backdated to day you apply ,so don't delay .

Good luck with the transition to home care. Still think you are amazing

Glad it is some way to getting sorted out KB.

Hi - have read the thread and really feel for you. My mum had a couple of UTI's and it really did make her confused. It is vitally important that your MIL is drinking plenty.

In terms of care provision I agree entirely with CMOTand earthymama. Although you're willing and able just now to help care for your in-laws you do have to think about yourself/dh/dc's - and what happens when you want to go away or are ill (hopefully not).

Others have mentioned Power of Attorney - if you can then try to get this sorted out asap - it can ONLY be granted by an individual who is in possession of their faculties - ie once dementia sets in it's too late. Might be worth approaching this with MIL in terms of making sure FIL is taken care of if anything were to happen to her.

Hope all continues to improve - good luck.

Great news.
Just a reminder to ask that extra care built in for respite for you and the family if you are ill or take a well-deserved break.

So glad for you xx

Great news, Kbear! Great to see it all working out, and that the support has been, well, supportive!

That's good news. Keep us posted.

Glad to hear things are on the up. One thing - push for as much care as possible right now. Think about you being on top of it, not part of it iyswim ? So if they need twice daily visits, thats not you plus one from the package, its two from the package, and you pop to the shops or whatever.

Because, sadly, their care needs will increase, and right now you are in the best position to push for things

Glad you feel it is going in the right direction x

Have seen this thread over the last few days and only just had chance to read through. What an awful time you have been having. You've done brilliant! So much sounded familiar. If it helps, you are not alone and this situation is sadly not unique. Hope the next few days improve. Keep posting!

so glad you seem to be getting listened to at last Kbear

I really don't want to put a dampener on things, but I just wanted to say, can you ask them what happens if the care package isn't enough?

I think they should give you some info about whats available out there in case it isn't, it just sounds to me like they need a bit more help than a care package, or at least your FIL does.

Have you looked into Very Sheltered Housing? Ask your council for a list of these in your area. Its basically sheltered housing with 24 hr warden and sometimes meals included.

I just think going home with a care package might not be enough in the long term, sorry to sound negative, but this is your chance to get something long term sorted/or at least started and as you know too well its really hard to get anything into place when its needed

hope you don;t mind me giving you this point of view, I know you just want them back home and together as this is all they want, but something about this situation makes me think going home might not be the best thing long term (sorry)

Positive news, that's great. Sounds hopeful it was just the UTI that was causing your MIL's confusion. My mum didn't even have a raised temperature, but was still really badly affected. She's much better now, at home. Her care package seems to be working so far, so hopefully your PIL will get something that's successful.

SS came and fitted a keypad safe for the house keys around the back of the house, so the various carers could let themselves in. It's supposed to be sledgehammer proof. They leave notes on every visit and encourage mum to take her medication, etc. We have changed her medicine to daily blister packs with all daily medication in one blister to try to help mum and the carers keep track.

We are thinking of getting her a large digital clock that displays the day of the week and the date to help her keep track of time.

Good luck with everything.

That's great news KBear.... glad to hear that they can be in the same ward. It really does help patients and their families (sometimes the hospital gets asked to separate them in case one partner is really in a bad way and it upsets the spouse, but clearly, not in your PILs' case). Yes, we see time and time again that infections can cause an elderly person to become so odd that they are virtually a different person. Worth bearing in mind when an elderly relative suddenly turns bonkers. If their regular GP won't do a home visit or give an urgent appointment, then go straight to A&E. I hope things work out well, Kbear! V pleased for you and your DH.

That's good new Kbear. I can almost hear a sigh of relief I hope this care package is all that they and you need?