Anyone successfully escape a narcissist partner?

You could be describing my ex-wife!! The only way I can suggest is to cut as many ties as possible!

I thought I was a narcissist for a while as she accused me of that a lot. Lots of name calling and all that. After we split and I started dating I was surprised how 'normal' and drama free other people were. But then it all started.

She was telling everyone how I stitched her up in the divorce, despite us both agreeing and drawing up the financial split and her solicitor and mine both saying it was fair. She was telling members of my family (Aunts) her version of events including one about my DD which was so untrue. We would agree on things with kids and then she would do the opposite. We agreed stuff about DS and that changed again. She has now been calling my DD a narcissist when they argue! And, the best part was when she told someone my GF was the reason we broke up despite it being a) her decision and b) I met this person months after we split!!! When I wanted to change Xmas plans I was told no, when she wanted to the year after I said no because there was no flexibility when I wanted to and she went ballistic and started having a go at me.

For the last 18 months we have been NC (kids are now 16 and 19). I just blocked her on everything and any comms (not much) goes through kids. She has doorstepped me twice and I just ignored and then drove off (was in public). So if you can I would do that - no worrying when your phone goes off, no abusive messages.

Wasn't married to one, but dated one, After he punched my wall because something didnt go his way I ended things, he messaged a few days later asking if i missed him. I told him no then blocked him. Its a lot easier to escape from them if you were just dating them. I hope you dont have too many issues

I also spoke with Oasis and they reconfirmed what I already knew. I needed to get out and that’s what I did. I walked away with a bag of clothes 4 years ago with two children and nothing else! Best thing I ever did. Haven’t managed to divorce him yet but hopefully later this year I’ll get the ball rolling - to be honest it’s taken me this long to remove myself completely and heal. There’s no winning with a narcissist - in fact, the more I tried the harder it was. I resigned myself to the fact that his actions were out of my control and the less I cared the better I got! I hope you get the support you need, it’s not an easy task but life will be very different when you do make that change. Once they know the game is up prepare for the nasty side to come out - oh, you’ll be the bad person whatever they’ve done. Accept it for what it is and stay in your lane!

Same situation here @Zen81- though we are separated and he moved out which made things easier for me. I’ve get Mr Nice-Guy too @PelucheCatso I’m scared to rock the boat by starting the divorce.

My ex did, I wouldn’t say there was no conflict, in fact she made his life and now mine hell. She prevents contact with their DD and will spread malicious lies wherever she can. My only advice is to try remain as calm as you can and don’t retaliate to anything, in our situation it’s impossible not to fight back.

Just to reiterate what others have said. There is no winning against a narcissist unless you move half way around the world and never see or hear from them again. It's imperative that you stay calm and cool at all times, never rising to their bait. They love to play the victim when you do rise, but that's how they get off. Sometimes I think it's a sexual thing with them.

My strongest memories (looking back now) are of the texts he used to send me after we broke up. I was so over him by then that I never responded. I was never even tempted to do so. I burned our wedding pics on the patio. He was flabbergasted that I didn't respond. He even told me his mother had cancer to get a rise out of me. Didn't work.

You need to protect yourself at all times and never lose sight of the fact that this man will turn on the charm when it suits him, then bring you down when he's had his fun. Sorry, OP, tough times for you but you can do this if you keep reading up on his personality type and staying strong.

I would advise that there is no "winning" and the goal is to get out as unscathed as possible. Speak to Womens' Aid sooner rather than later, forewarned is forearmed and you need to make sure that every decision you're making from now on, however small, works for you rather than against.

My god this is me. It really helps to see others having the same experience (though really wish no one was, obvs[.

In divorce, my own Mr Angry pet narcissist has gone super nicey nice, Mr Reasonable, Disney Dad, yes, you can have everything etc, so it's driving me mad wondering what he's up to.

We just need to stay calm, grey rock, find safe accomodation, move on.

Good luck to you.

Women's Aid are a good idea. Is there a local DV charity too? If you contact them, they'd be able to help. Mine gave me so much sanity and they helped to walk me through family court. Then even came with me to some sessions.

I am also glad that I logged his behaviour lots of times with the police. That's given me some reassurance.

Hello, firstly, I'm glad that you've spotted the behaviour. I escaped very toxic and horrible ex. Unfortunately family court gave him substantial contact to our son. We now parallel parent through a co parenting app.

I found The Freedom Programme very helpful. The local domestic abuse charity literally saved me.

Knowing what deflection is, DARVO, transactional analysis etc helped to keep me sane, as did grey rock etc.

Wishing you all the best. I hope that he behaves like an adult through the process xxxx