Ex won’t give up spare bedroom

he’s acting like he’s somehow in the legal position to claim he doesn’t have to vacate the room

He’s talking bollocks.

No mediational court is going to look favourably upon somebody who refused to move his shit out of a room thus leaving you without a bedroom

And you have every right to clear his stuff out it’s your joint house

What the fuck is wrong with him. If your children say anything, just say clearly you need a room to sleep in and this dickhead won’t move his shit. You’re moving it for him. Would they please help you?

I'd give the teenagers a life lesson in equality and sticking up for mum. Get them to help you move..I'm furious on your behalf

tough shit, he needs to make it work as you need a bedroom.

Ok and you’ve mentioned two teenagers now, so you being in the dining room is removing their space as well.

so he’s not just impacting you but the whole family, this is hugely frowned upon.

he can work from the dining room and with the bedroom for you. Have you asked him that?

have you called women’s aid? They may be able to help you with legal support given your income.

Yes it’s obviously shit but putting stuff on landing and locks on doors will not end well and lead to an even more hostile atmosphere

what about the suggestion of swapping his office and the dining room

Just keep on moving his stuff. Let him have his office and put all his things out of the other bedroom in there. Preferably whilst he’s on a work call!

It must be hard, but how strong are you? (In terms of voice, emotions etc). Does he feel he can walk over you? Be forceful, you TELL him to move his stuff, he can pick a room but move his stuff. If he doesn’t, when he’s out then just do it.
why are you going through mediation? Sounds like he’s just stalling.

You haven’t answered about ownership of the house. Do you have a stake in it?

Another alternative depending on your finances, is if you verify this with your solicitor, that his abuse means the situation at home feels unsafe, would you have the funding to rent and apartment where the cost of doing so can be calculated or repaid upon settlement from the sale of the house.

you need to stress that this is an emotionally abusive relationship, you have tried as long as you can but you need options.

done discuss any of this with him, just work out your options with the solicitor and identify what access to funding you have.

OP you need to write all of this down. Describe what happened, and email it to your solicitor. Including comments about mediation.

the solicitor can consider then applications to the court re fair occupancy, or court ordered sale, and whether they will legally class this as coercive control or abuse in which case other orders can be applied for.

Theres no point getting into a tug of war with his stuff. You know he is doing this to harm you, so box clever and report his every step.

Do you have enough money for the solicitor?

He wants to make you feel this way. You can’t compromise with an abusive man. Every move you make he will try use against you, to make you unravel, so think about the long term trajectory.

whats the downstairs layout like Op?

Ask a friend to come help move it. Say I’ll be careful but if you’re shouting at me I might drop things. All your legal bullshit doesn’t stop me sleeping, with my things, in a room in the house I live in, with due privacy. As long as it’s not the room you’re sleeping in or a main living room, and it feels like the room I’ve been in is the main living room. Move before I drop this accidentally down the stairs. I’m being very generous here and your lawyer knows it.

He does not get to have 2 bedrooms while you have none, don’t let him bully you.

tell him to pick a room before you do.

do you both own the house equally?

Yes. You need back up. It’s not ok that he had two bedrooms and you have none. In fact it’s abusive.

Find someone to help you clear the spare room while he is out of the house. You are not powerless here but you do need support. And determination. You can do this but you need to be brave and stop accepting his immature narcissistic nonsense. What a vile loser he is.

This ^ get someone round to put a lock with a key on the door or a keypad with code

then you have bedroom and bathroom all in one

Get someone to come round and move his stuff

Just reply to his letter /email with a very brief note to say

as legal
joint owners you are both legally entitled equal use of the property,he has no more rights than you do.

that you have given him choice to which room
snd that if he continues to chose not to engage then Friday you will pick and move his stuff to the other bedroom, to avoid that he’s welcome to move his stuff himself

then actually do it, if he kicks off or starts threatening call the police

He Might just break the door!!

Just move his stuff, and then throw a lock on the door
He sounds like a shit