Am I unreasonable not to agree to his new child access rota

@MeetMeOnTheCorner SEND dc can obviously impact upon how many hours a parent (both separated parents) can work.
But I don't think in this case the OP has said her children have SEND.

SEN is a completely different use case

That’s why I said planning for work. It’s not an immediate requirement! Dc needs come first and certainly mums with Sen dc don’t always rush out to work.

Key part you clipped is if other parent is willing to support , or if there is suffucyrrsources to permit this. Most divorces in England do not meet these conditions / at best most non working parents will have a short term spousal element for a couple of years if children are very young and if there is income and resources to permit it. Often there is not .

Maximizing income is not demanded immediately! A plan for it is another matter!

@MeetMeOnTheCorner in s divorce both parents are expected to maximise their income. And a spouse won’t ( usually) be expected to subsidise a parent choosing not to work, that absolutely is the presumption for the basis of a financial settlement. So it’s based on an assumed full time income potential not what that person currently earns if they’re not working, it would also look at income from benefits or other sources. Should that partner not work then they have to find their own lifestyle through benefits or wealth or other means going forward. I never said a judge would force someone to work. ( although yes i absolutely think people should work and choosing to live on benefits should be judged long term)

That is separate to child arrangements

There is no law judges must follow in terms of who works and who doesn’t. If finances are very tight, a mum might be gearing up to work part time once dc are at school but child care costs are a factor. This is current advice for stay at home mums. As I said, needs of dc come first. In HNW divorces women with childcare responsibilities don’t suddenly rush out to work if they divorce.

You said full time. There is no expectation of full time. Maximizing income is considered around child care. Women who, for example, are teaching assistants, never work 40 hours a week, for a full year. They might increase their hours in term time but they still have the school holidays. Circumstances and jobs do matter.

@MeetMeOnTheCorner
In UK family law, judges generally expect a separated mum to maximize her earning capacity and seek employment, especially once her youngest child reaches school age. This of course also applies to father.
It absolutely isn't the case that father is expected to work ft and pay CMS in order that mother does not have to find paid employment.
The judge will treat both separated parents as literally that; separated and there will (rightly) be no regard to "typical" gender roles. Therefore there will be the expectation on both of them individually to provide financially for their children and the financial needs of the child/children are required to be met by both parties.

@millymollymoomoo There’s no expectation of full time work by both parents at all! Dc come first with the court. Their needs. Not your views on work and money!

@RoseField1 Ah that's good then - it will leave the door open for mum working ft when her youngest is in school.

But the general expectation should be that both parents work full time in which case the justification for 50:50 becomes stronger, obviously it depends on what types of jobs.

but whereas some men want 50:50 to reduce maintenance some others don’t want 50:50 because I) it reduces their maintenance and ii) they want the upper hand if being ‘main’ parent and to hold control

@PinkEasterbunny Many parents do agree around work commitments and school commitments. It’s just the ridiculous push for 50:50 to save, mostly men, money. It’s vital parents maintain work if they have it and have enough time to find work if necessary. I really don’t believe carving up dc like a cake to force a parent to have dc more works for dc. It might if parents live very close and parents wfh or work part time, but otherwise, continuity does matter for dc and their interests should be paramount.

Your making a mountain when something is so simple, your ex is absolutely correct it adds up to the same amount of days over the year..You don't need to harp on about mediation or going to courts every single time he clearly is being amicable and you got it wrong. At least you have a father who works and wants to do the right thing for the kids the same as you so keep it amicable not everything needs dragged thru services every single time once the main order is in place

Absolutely this! We seem to get obsessed with complete parity when parents are apart, when it wasn't even achievable when they were together.

Many many parents don’t do shared school runs, and work patterns are considered. Parents sort this out even if they remain married!

Most child arrangements orders do factor in future changes when children go to school. Judges are quite used to doing this, it's their job.

@millymollymoomoo Working patterns that will inevitably need to change once youngest is at school, however.

@Cheeseandolivesplease biy what you’re referring to is related to separation of assets not child arrangements. Yes one parent in separation is not generally expected to have to support the ex through division of assets or spousal maintenance so the other can be a sahm or work pt . But that is not related to child access arrangements.

The only thing that is relevant is working patterns and ability to do logistics

@Cheeseandolivesplease Many parents don’t want 50/50 and certainly don’t want to change from a well paid job to something that reduces lifestyle! I can assure you many couples have an imbalance of childcare based on working patterns. Especially the rich.

@OhamIreally If she isn't getting a substantial amount of CMS from her ex, how is she affording not to work? I do appreciate she could be very independently wealthy.

@PinkEasterbunny I totally agree. So how is the mother managing?
I fully appreciate this isn't the case yet as I believe one of the children is still preschool age, but when this changes...
In the UK family court, there is a general expectation that both parents will become financially self-sufficient following a separation, and mothers are typically expected to work once their children reach school age.
CMS isn't there to facilitate a permanent SAHM so OP will likely need to work before too long and thus child arrangements will possibly need reviewing again.

@OhamIreally we have no idea what money he pays you op

If this indeed was the likelihood of the outcome in court as it currently stands, as father's legal representation I would be advising him either to find another job role, reduce his hours, or give up work completely in exchange for a fairer amount of parenting time.

I think this is unrealistic. Most people have to work to keep a roof over their heads (and make CMS payments). Also, changings jobs isn't usually that simple either.

I think that the father is benefiting from the unpaid work of the mother but the mother, since they are no longer together, is not benefiting from the paid work of the father, with the exception of child support which is not a huge % of the paying parents salary. So it’s a false equivalence to say that he is working to provide for his family whilst she does the bulk of childcare because he isn’t, whereas she is.