Cms advice

I don’t know about Scotland but what I do know is that the divorce settlement is a one time only deal. Almost certainly you have been financially disadvantaged by having children. Absolutely go for half of everything that you are entitled to. Even if it’s hard and he makes it difficult for you. You don’t want to look back in 5,10,20 years time and regret not getting a fair settlement.
He is breaking the law by refusing you access to the home, you would be quite within your rights to move back in. If you are joint tenants and are both on the mortgage then you are jointly and severally responsible for paying the mortgage. Just because you aren’t paying it doesn’t mean you don’t own half the equity.
So it doesn’t matter how determined he is; what matters is the law.

Scotland is different in a divorce which follows a more rigid formula whereas England is more needs based

so in Scotland as I understand only assets acquired or accumulated on value post marriage and pre separation are included and much more likely a 50:50 split of those

There are two separate issues here

firstly the divorce settlement
yiu need full disclosure and settlement and this includes pension. You may decide to not take pension but this could be used to negotiate higher equity share.

you won’t get occupational rent as he’s paying all the mortgage - you are paying rent,

you have a right to remain in the house and any solicitor would have advised you not to leave

this sounds like a needs base divorce and weighting will be given to housing child adequately- you both have the same housing needs.

he's not a high earner and by the time you add in child benefit and uc your monthly income might not be as disparate as you think.
your settlement will consider your income and full time earnings potential not simply the 18k you earn pt now. Ex won’t be expected to supplement pt wages.

you should have a solicitor

Secondly
on the cms / if it’s 50:50 shared care there won’t be any cms. In cases of very significant earnings there could be but your ex does not fall into this category. If you go for this he could also charge you your share of mortgage - weigh up the outcomes

You should get proper legal advice before agreeing to anything.

A judge is very unlikely to sign off on the finances if you haven’t had advice, especially with children involved anyways, but you should protect yourself by doing so.

You should go after the pension or more than 50% of the house, as you haven’t built up your own pension. You could also charge him occupational rent on his share of the house but then he’d probably argue you’re welcome to move back in your chose to leave!

You should get universal credit to pay most of your rent and a child top up on your low salary. Plus child benefit.
if you push him for more money he may apply for child benefit in his name and they give it to him for one child at least. So he could then counter claim maintenance from you and you’d lose the UC attached to that child. I would be carful

The reason it stopped was because my teenage decided not to do the 50:50 anymore. Shame that they didn't but they were adamant that they wanted to be with me more.

Two threads recently were similar. Neither worked out well for the posters. Both lost their cases and one child benefit.

just take anything he is giving you as he doesn’t have to give anything.

childcare should be paid by each parent on what days they are needing the cover.

Why would you expect maintenance if you're sharing 5050?

Your divorce elements - the house, cars, pensions etc - are all irrelevant for CMS.

None of the organising matters for CMS. If you have 50:50 care then no child maintenance is due.

You would be within your rights to say that he has to organise and pay for childcare for his time.

But be very careful before you go to CMS as it could backfire very badly. On 50:50 he could claim one of the child benefit payments and that would impact your top up benefits.

In the case of prolongedaffair’s thread the children no longer speak to her at all, and she now owes her ex CM every month.

Have a read of the threads by prolongedaffair and fixatedplanet

Neither have come out well at all.

Also if you push with CMS he could go for one of the child benefits, which would then potentially impact any top up benefits you get as you’d only have one qualifying child.

With a shared care set up of 50:50 neither of you would be due to pay child maintenance to the other.

You’d each be responsible for paying childcare on your time.

If he’s happy paying what he is atm then in your shoes I’d be staying very quiet as you’re getting - in respect of what he would legally be obliged to do - a very good deal.

There are two recent threads from people with 50/50 care who pushed with CMS and have both ended up losing out massively that might be worth a read.

Do you mean 50/50 split of care for the children? Ie they spend equal time with each of you? Or do you mean 50:50 split of assets eg house equity or savings, as part of the divorce?

He should not be paying you anything if you have 50/50 and splitting costs like uniforms etc...

That’s typically only in
csses where there is a very high earner. Of which Op ex is not

op should be seeking to improve her own finances ( ie work full time) not just expecting benefits and cms to allow part time.

of course that’s not to say ex should not contribute towards raising his child/children such as clothes/unifofm:/clubs etc but that’s not through cms

Until recently I had a true 50/50 child care agreement and also got CMS.