None of that sounds like brainwashing to me. But Israel does have very visible problems with racism and the extremist settler movement (including the members of the Israeli government who support it and the IDF troops who supervise the violence) is doing more than telling their children to fear Palestinians. It is modelling violence, terrorism and making dehumanising Palestinians normal/lawful.
I’m not saying that Hamas are teaching peace and love but putting the blame on one side is why this issue will continue. We all know that Hamas sat terrorists. But both Israel and Palestinians need to be more moderate and some of that, as you rightly said, starts with education but also from adults on both sides not being extremists.
Trying Palestinian children under military law and settler children under civil law creates inequality, underfunding Arab Israeli schools creates inequality, Israeli textbooks that dehumanise Palestinians breeds mistrust hatred and effectively segregating education breeds mistrust and hatred. Palestinians in the WB are just as justified fearing settlers. They are extremists who use violence to illegally take land from Palestinians, build on the land and then ban Palestinians from that land. You should also research the permits people need in the WB to build anything/access their farmland and why this might add to feelings of anger, resentment and hatred.
Re conscription, I understand why Israel thinks it’s justified but I think it is horrendous forcing anyone to be violent and the related trauma the reservists have, especially the young ones, is something I have a lot of empathy for. I cannot imagine being forced to fight. I’m sure it has left a horrendous scar on many individuals. Sadly, I don’t think there is the mental health support in place to help those individuals (and their families) recover from that experience and I’m sure that adds to the collective trauma Israel has.