@Zoflorabore yes I am in Israel, we moved from the UK in 2022. Today I feel very numb and emotionally drained. I cried a lot last night, it will probably hit me later.
Safe - it's hard to answer, the first weeks after October 7th were traumatic. I mainly worried about my kids and keeping them safe, we were so on edge and on heightened alert, and the rockets seemed to happen every time we I ventured out. But it is impossible to sustain that level of high alert physically, and somehow you compartmentalise and you pick up and carry on. I still jump at every loud motorcycle (they sound like sirens) and boom though, and I frequently scan the skies when I walk. Struggling to focus on work as well.
There have been terror attacks all year this year. I am buying my younger kids dumb phones which I said I would never do (they're happy about that at least!), and I think it is highly likely there will be barrages of rockets once the ceasefire is over, so I am going to try restock the safe room. I don't feel safe, but I also don't think about it. I can't think, or I would be paralysed. I am grateful I live in an area that is not as heavily targeted.
One of my grandmothers lived through Kristallnacht, and then her family escaped to London, where they went through the Blitz. She died recently and she left a suitcase which included her school reports and some of her exercise books. This will out me to my family, but anyway, I was reading through her one of her essays and she wrote about music and complained about her brother endlessly practicing (he was a musician), her report cards had a lot of comments like 'if attendance was better...', her geography maps were beautifully drawn and coloured, and it struck me how ordinary her life was, while war raged on. Her Aunty's house was bombed, life was definitely not normal, but on some level, they got up, and they carried on.
Don't feel ashamed @Zoflorabore, times are hard, and one difficulty does not negate another.
Thanks everyone for your concern ❤