30s TTC Inc: Rolling out BESH practice across our flagship monthly diffment projects - Blue Sky thinking for a paradigm shift vis-a-vis droids and wooden spoons.

Ooooh, Aries, that sounds interesting. Shall try not to fuel the menkul, but will stay hopeful.

When are we allowed to yell POAS at Lorry?

HairyAiry this sounds interesting, very interesting.....but I do not want to add fuel to fire of menkul!!

How is the palace? I have skim read back....wet look leggings???what IS that? And a birth canal/foot size correlation??

And the homophones? So IS a big deal. I think BigBangers should write lines.

Oh completely forgot I'd left work early to watch the Murray match . I fell in with a Bad Crowd on FB

Oh Aries my duck, that DOES sound a departure from the norm doesn't it, and we all know what departures from the norm to do the head... Do you chart your cycles enough to know how unusual this is? Cos it is about the right time for the fabled implant bleed but it did me no good AT ALL knowing about that biz, and I am reluctant to inflate your menkul. I wish you weren't alone though, worrying about MrA AND your Wimbledon Common .

What day did you Ov, my spring-birthdayed friend? Could be Ye Famous Implantation Bleed, could be bastard early spotting (am erring on positive former).

PISCES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BossFriend takes a SIZE 3 shoe! Okay, so she's 5ft 2, but it's ridiculous. I'm constantly winding her up about Chinese foot binding, asking her how her step-sister Cinderella is doing these days, etc., etc.

Moaning friend's son is a 14 year old boy, in her defence. But she's one of the few RL people who knows I'm TTC so why whine to me about motherhood being shite?

Murray has just won, so that's good.

Um yes. Err. Right. The thing is, I thought I was immune to menkulism, but listen to this: I have had nagging pains in my womble, early sore boobs and I just had a rummage and have spots of bright red blood, which I have never had before. I am on day 24 of a usual 29-32 day cycle. Might it just be my body messin wi' ma heid?

MrA is now away for three days. It's probably best.

Don't kill self. Mixing up your homophones isn't that big a deal. Or how will you produce the said progeny?

sale SAIL!

Score, ground glass in her nightly bottle of WKD, I would. I mean, of COURSE it's a drag sometimes. But to parade it about in that vulgar fashion? And to say she REGRETS her children?! Ground glass is too good for her. Just break it into chunks.

My only consolation with These People is that stupidity is often Its Own Reward

Aries, I have no effing idea! They are tiny little plump things. And you factor in my hips, and the fact that altogether I resemble - not entirely unpleasantly - a galleon in full sale, the whole thing begins to represent a miracle of evolutionary engineering.

Talking of hips, my shape being what it is, I fully expect to eject my progeny in the manner of, as I think Scarlett O'Hara once remarked, a greased pig.

Yes, Scorps. Find her. Kill her. Lovely story re the war man by the way. Sniff.

Back to the feet thing - I always had a big bum and hips for a skinny wench plus the accompanying large feet. Why, this is getting better all the time! (What about height? I am nearly 5 ft 8).

Pencilgirl, how do you balance?

If I murder a friend who is all over Twitter and FB moaning about how crap motherhood is, how much she regrets it and how other women should never have kids, should I go for 'provocation' or 'severe mental distress' as my defence?

Awww, am watching a programme I recorded about Fatherhood during and after WWII and there's one old gent talking about how his first daughter was killed in the blitz, then his wife had 2 late mcs due to the war stress and he lost a leg when fighting and ended up in a mental ward after the 2nd mc cos he couldn't handle the grief and even when he was released, no babies came along again... until in 1957, when they both in their 40s, they had a daughter, who dotes on them both today. Talk about never giving up hope! Made me sniffle, so it did

I also have size 5.5 feet and labour was absolutely fine (no "ring of fire" here!) so don't panic!

My sister says giving birth is just like doing a really, really big poo.

Granted she is two tipples short of a piss-up but I choose to believe her (specially cos I have tiny little 5.5 feet, which is not large, for a stately woman of 5 foot 8...)

Blind ignorance is a happy state my friendz!

The size of your feet is related to the size of your birth canal. But remember the size of babies can vary hugely.

I would second Gin's comment that giving birth is just one (or 2) days, you have your baybee for ever after that and the actual birth time, whether you had a good or bad experience, is such a small part that it doesn't seem too important in context.

(I have size 5 feet which seems somewhat small for my height and don't want to know this is going to cause me problems! TH is another one of those size 12 can't find shoes to fit types - can he give birth instead?)

YAY!!!!! I will now refuse to believe anything to the contrary

Absolutely scorps!

So my big feets give me a Goddess of Willendorf birth-that-baby-in-5-painless-and-bloodless-minutes pelvis do they? Woohoo!

ladies, calm your selves re your pride at your babydaddy's small feets - it's only your feets that counts, it's somehow related to the size of your pelvis apparently.

Yay, Iggster! I've got me snorkel ready, so please to dive into comedy preggo buzzwams?

I've seen your pics and you look disgustingly slim whilst pg But want more piccies! Always more piccies!

Are you excited? Nervous? Can't believe it's only a few weeks now! GOOD LUCK

It WILL happen and that's why we get so excited for ya! Want you to win sooooooooooooo much Will try not to make you anxious by being too woo-hoo

BESHies, hallo!

Have been useless and haven't checked up in you lot for a little while.

just want to give cass a big squeeze

and to say hi to gingin and cho who I hope are ok? Cos I haven't seen them in the deli...

Also a big bosom smothering for scorps cos I think she needs it.

I am comedically round at the mo, and have less than 3 weeks to go, in theory.... Might take another pic for people to laugh at...

scorps PortaLou

Don't get too excited, honestly. High temp means nothing as my charts are all over the place. Its also a bit optimistic to say droid due today as I've had cycles from 28 - 44 days.

Its odd, I kind of feel like I've accepted its just never going to happen for me. Will be one hell of a shock if it does .