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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Honest advice on getting pregnant please....

27 replies

kleggie · 11/08/2005 11:55

I do apologise if this is going to be a bit of a long one. I am very new to mn and was made aware of it through reading 'mums on pregnancy'.

I am 24 years old and very happily married to my partner of six years. I am in no doubt that I want to have children and dh is quite keen to get started. I had always imagined that I would start having children around my mid-twenties and quite liked the idea of being a youngish mum. I have, however, found myself torn between becoming a parent and having a career. I really question whether I could do both and still offer my best to work life and my children. I have spent a lot of time, emotion and money on my education and should rightly be excited about starting my career. However, there is something inside of me- which is becoming more and more vocal- telling me that I want to have a family with man I love.

I have so many doubts about money, commitment and happiness. I hate to ask it, but what if I resented my decision to have children if it priced me out of the sector I want to work in? I receive so many mixed views from parents I work with. I have one colleague who spends more than 50% of her incoome on child care and says she wishes she hadn't had children at all and I have others who say they wish they'd made the decision to have children sooner. The worst kind of colleagues are the single, childless women who tell me I've already given up my life by marrying and why have a child and become even more boring. I know this kind of decision is a personal one- and I have discussed it with hubbie who is more than happy to be the full time care giver so I can return to work. So...honestly? What is it like being a full-time working mother? Is it worth it? Do you financially regret when you had children? Does it really affect your career prospects? Do you wish you had waited?

Sorry to bombard you with questions, I would just like some honest opinions from people who have been there.

OP posts:
Mojomummy · 11/08/2005 12:35

Hi, how long have you been working for ? if you've been working for a couple of years & are on your way up the career ladder, what impact will being pregnant (ante natal appointments etc) & then 6-12 months maternity leave have on your career ? And does this impact bother you ? If you are thinking of returning to work full time, you may find you can get back into your old role & hit the ground running. You may also decide you want to work part-time & assume you will maintain your current level ? Would you be happy with this ?

I think it's one of these situation where you won't really know how you feel until you get there & in that case it maybe too late.

What you could also do is decide on where you want to go with your career & whether you could achieve that in the next 6mths/year/18mths & then try for a family ? Also you might not fall pregnant immediately.

At my work, women have either had children, gone back to work part-time & not really progressed ( me !), gone back full-time & really got on ( sacrificed family life?) or else have been where they want to be (level wise) & maintained that high level role but managed to work park-time, probably doing additional work at home to keep up with everything.

majormoo · 11/08/2005 12:29

I had my DD when I was 29 so a bit older than you. I used to work in the city, used to moan I had no money (ha!) and my social life was fab. When I had DD I took voluntary redundancy, we moved to Brighton from London and I now only work 3 days a week (so cannot answer the question on being a full time working mum.) It is hard not having as much money-half my part time salary goes on childcare, but I could not have continued the hours/pressure of my old job and coped with being a mum. At the end of the day it depends what you want. I do get jealous of my childless friends with full time double incomes, but actually wouldn't change my situation for the world. I used to spend all my extra cash on rounds at the bar anyway! So after a long ramble, I think it has affected my career prospects, but I was willing to accept that. I'm now pregnant with number 2, and we will have even less money, but I very very excited about no 2.