Active discussions

Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

TTC # 3 - Anyone else being driven mad!?

34 replies

whizzymummy · 28/05/2010 22:03

Hi all
Have been TTC #3 for what seems like an age - 9 months now.
Is anyone else being driven totally insane?? I'm seriously ready to throw in the towel now, living in this limbo is driving me insane. But I know I can't give up, I just want a third too badly.
Not sure what next step is really, just wondered if anyone else out there to commiserate with?
Just had a BFP this time last week but then started AF few days later, and to make matters worse the whole world seems to be pregnant around me just to rub salt in the wounds.
Not sure what I feel any more - I always said after all I went through to have my DS and DD that if #3 worked out fine, but otherwise I was happy with my two lovely DC and so lucky to have them. Hmm, can't seem to make myself think that now.
Why do the hormones make us go so mad like this!?
Boo hoo!

OP posts:
haribofan · 31/05/2010 15:01

whizzymummy so sorry to hear about your m/c's and termination. You must be due a BFP very soon. Yes, we're getting older all the time (I am 34 this month) but a lot of people I know had trouble with having DC1 but then got pg easier with #'s 2 and 3.

Re: the guilt, it's very hard isn't it. I haven't told anyone we're ttc but some may suspect. I don't think they'd have much sympathy when I already have two lovely, healthy children and 1 of each too. I started off staying lets see what happens too but after 4 months got really desperate. There are times when I wonder if it's the child I want or the thing of 'will not fail at this' if that makes sense! But I know the answer deep down. I found the IVF decision easy really, DH not quite so keen. I just know that if I don't ever succeed, I don't want to look back and think 'why didn't I just try that'! I do tend to relax more with medical intervention going on though, bizarrely. Have also started having accupuncture too which is quite nice and a sense of being pro-active and it counters my current alcohol and caffeine intake!!

I would go and have the fibroid checked out if I were you. A friend of mine had a few taken out and got pg 2 months later.

pine you must think a bit like me. I often think I may have a m/c if I get pg as I haven't had one of those yet!! So positive, aren't I!!

Original poster
whizzymummy · 30/05/2010 23:26

Hi Pine - please do babble away! I certainly hope it's not your turn for probs - For what it's worth all my friends who get pregnant quickly/easily (seem to be a few) just seem to be able to keep in going with no problems. One has 4 DC each one year apart (not that I'm jealous of that ). Suppose some people are just ultra fertile and for others it takes a while. Wish you luck it happens when yo like. Of course if you think it will take a while it'll happen first month and give you a shock!

I had a v large fibroid removed before my DC so got a consultant on the case with regular monitoring ... he wants me to try to get pregnant before we do any more surgery and says he's pretty sure they should not stop me at the moment. Have been thinking I may get another appointment soon though - fighting with the self control not to sound silly and keep going back when I clearly need some patience. On other hand I also need a little reassurance that they arent' causing a problem.

OP posts:
pinefarmpooperscooper · 30/05/2010 23:17

Thanks for speedy reply Whizzymummy. When i read the 'oh and pine' i thought you were going to write... 'why are you writing on this thread, you haven't even tried for #3 yet'. I know what you mean about guilt. I have a couple of friends that tried for years and years just to get 1.. so i would feel like i am greedy saying i'm pregnant again already!
I think it takes longer the older you get..., i also sense its my turn for a MC next, as i heard its 1 in 3 and have got pregnant so easily both times. Feel like it might take longer this time, to teach me not to take it for granted. anyway babbling.

maybe go to the doctors and get fibroid situation checked out?
Good luck :-)

Original poster
whizzymummy · 30/05/2010 23:04

ps haribo - my cycles also went up the spout in the beginning of the year. clearly completely stress of TTC as the blood tests showed everything seems fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
whizzymummy · 30/05/2010 23:00

Oh thank heavens, there are others out there feeling like me! I was beginning to wonder...thanks for responding.
Haribo - I also gave up bothering about the tea/coffee/few drinks a couple of months ago, not sure what good it does and if a few drinks make me feel better then what the heck!
I had a rough ride getting my DC, two MCs before DS came along, then very sadly made the decision to terminate a pregnancy as found out the baby had turners sydrome and it was very poor prognosis that the baby would survive, then had my DD. So all in all checkered - two lovely DC out of it but I suppose I've a hard time TTC emotionally. Strange thing is if I recollect right it never took me more than 4-5 months to conceive any of my pregnancies. Suppose that's why I'm worrying about 9 months now. Positive slant I guess is I probably was pregnant last cycle, maybe being a bit older is it too??
I'm so pleased there are others feeling like I do too - I feel so guilty saying it when I know I am so lucky, there was a time I wondered if I'd even have one child.
Haribo - good luck with your treatment. Was is hard to make the choice to go for that option?
I am worried that I may need some kind of intervention as I have fibroids. I suppose worst case is I need them removing which delays things further... let alone whether anything else is wrong. I did have blood tests a couple of months ago and they were fine.
Good luck to you both jess and pine - oh and pine, for my two pennies worth I have always thought the quicker you get the pregnancies out of the way the better but I hear so many pros and cons about age gaps I think you just take what you're given. If I were you I'd go for it but that's as you never know what might happen...
Sorry for the long essay

OP posts:
haribofan · 30/05/2010 22:08

pine- you will have some nice age gaps there even if it does take a few months. I was aiming for 3 under 6 but have gone past that point now. It depends on so many factors but I would have liked a baby this Summer when my eldest is settled into first year at school. But I am a SAHM so would prob be totally different if you work F-T.

pinefarmpooperscooper · 30/05/2010 21:48

I have a DS nearly 3 & DD 16 months and have just had Mirena removed 2 weeks ago.. i am so broody and like you, 3 of my best friends are pregnant, and my Sister & Sister-in-law.
I am still trying to convince my husband to go for it, as he wants to wait a while, though after reading this, makes me want to SWI right now!
I hope you all get BFP very soon :-)
In your opinion is it better to have 3 under 4 or 3 under 5? There are so many pro's and cons, it might take ages and we'll have niether!

jessplus2 · 30/05/2010 21:00

Hello whizzymummy. I'm in the same boat! Have two dd's, 7 and 5. Took 9 months and 2 months for each, and we've been ttc #3 for 16 months now, incl 1 mc. I think its very different ttc #3 - we had been taking a very laid back (excuse the pun) approach for a long time as, well, the girls are great, and lets see what happens, but now its just getting ridiculous.
Completely understand about living in limbo too. Here's hoping for some good news all round soon. x

haribofan · 30/05/2010 19:58

Every word of what you've written, I could have written it myself. I also have a DS and a DD and have been ttc #3 for 11 months now. It is horrible and I got really cross at the 6 month stage, even though it took 7 months with DC2. I have had a rough time since Jan as my cycles have got longer (stress of ttc I think), then I did 2 unsuccessful clomid cycles (both monitored closely). I also had to have a polyp removed a few weeks ago. We are actually going to try IVF in July (this seems mad but I want to try this before giving up). I have semi-given up at the mo as want to de-stress and get my cycles shorter again. Have gone back to having proper coffee every other day as well as a few drinks a week. I feel so much more relaxed for it. I am sure it won't get me pg but I doubt I'm harming my chances very much.

How long did you take to ttc your DD and DS? I hope you get your BFP very soon. Ooh forgot to say snap with the friends too- 2 out of my 3 best friends are currently pg!