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Original poster

TTC # 3 - Anyone else being driven mad!?

34 replies

whizzymummy · 28/05/2010 22:03

Hi all
Have been TTC #3 for what seems like an age - 9 months now.
Is anyone else being driven totally insane?? I'm seriously ready to throw in the towel now, living in this limbo is driving me insane. But I know I can't give up, I just want a third too badly.
Not sure what next step is really, just wondered if anyone else out there to commiserate with?
Just had a BFP this time last week but then started AF few days later, and to make matters worse the whole world seems to be pregnant around me just to rub salt in the wounds.
Not sure what I feel any more - I always said after all I went through to have my DS and DD that if #3 worked out fine, but otherwise I was happy with my two lovely DC and so lucky to have them. Hmm, can't seem to make myself think that now.
Why do the hormones make us go so mad like this!?
Boo hoo!

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Original poster
whizzymummy · 06/06/2010 21:12

Well we can comiserate together when it all feels a little difficult! Know exactly how you feel about the AF time of the month and yes agree generally otherwise I feel fine around them. Shame I dont' feel like I can confide in them any more but I suppose it won't be forever.

You go for it with a bit of normality, we all need it. Personally I find the caffeine thing harder than the booze - I just love my tea. Am trying to keep it to no more than 3 cups a day. Suppose I should try caffeine free...

I've not had the best month - am on day 15 and have a short 24 day cycle so probably gone past most fertile patch but funilly enough not been priority last few days. I also must say find it hard to get enthusiastic month after month as not very spontaneous or romantic is it!!

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haribofan · 06/06/2010 14:39

Ha ha whizzymummy, my 2 bf's are at exactly the same stage in their pg's. I find it hard to cope with them just after AF comes tbh- does anyone else feel like that? For the rest of the time, I feel very happy for them and love to chat about their pg's with them.

I hope your DS is OK, poor thing (and you) having to have a general .

Well, I have drunk far too much caffeine and alcohol this month to get pg and I'm now wishing I hadn't had so much. Oh well, I needed a bit of a return to normality after the clomid, metformin and polyp op!! Fingers crossed for a BFP for some of you this month.

Original poster
whizzymummy · 04/06/2010 22:10

Quite agree with you Ell11 - actually have two friends now between 16-24 weeks PG. Started trying before both of them. Certainly don't feel like talking about it now...

DS all okay, kids bounce back fast I suppose. Except for bandage he seems like nothing happened

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Ell11 · 03/06/2010 22:44

Agreed! What will be will be...

Your DS's accident sounds ouchy! Poor thing. I took a nail off when I was about 7 (heavy gate landed on it) and it looks perfectly normal- you wouldn't know so hopefully he'll make a full recovery.

It's definitely nice to chat. My BF is 12 weeks pg and I started trying before she did- I used to moan to her about it but don't really want to now she's pg. I don't want her to feel guilty or worry about me. Thank heaven for the Interweb!

Original poster
whizzymummy · 03/06/2010 19:04

Thanks haribo - it's a bit messy and unfortunately got to be cleaned up and fixed under a general at hospital tomorrow. Makes me feel queezy just thinking about it to be honest.

Agree it's very comforting to have a few of us - for me it's also just nice to chat, somehow I always put my foot in it otherwise...
I think we all need to start familiarising ourselves with the benefits of larger age gaps rather than wishing for small ones!!

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haribofan · 02/06/2010 22:54

Ooh whizzymummy- hope your DS is OK, sounds so painful.

Not had chance to read all the new posts but strangely comforting to know there's a few of this in this boat. My DC2 is 3 in a few weeks so sounds like I will have the biggest age gap out of us if/when it ever happens.

Original poster
whizzymummy · 02/06/2010 21:22

Hi Ell11 - nope don't even feel mine at all - the current one is about 6x6cm and causes me no bother. I had a larger one removed in 2003 by surgery and that was about 10x10cm and consultant said it needed to be removed (something about it outgrowing its blood supply and causing problems with TTC when I wanted to start) - this was before and independent of TTC! Strange thing is I had no idea it was even there, maybe in retrospect I can see I had heavier periods but that was all. Lucky me. Women do have much bigger fibriods and I think the location can mean some go pretty much unnoticed like mine or equally they can be in an awkward place. He seems to think the current one is not in a place that will intefere.
Hope all is ok with your SIL, sounds like she is seeing the right person and it's under control, though like with me she must worry about it growing bigger or what happens if surgery needs to happen sooner.

Talking about DC have just got back from A&E after DS got his thumb stuck in a door and pulled whole nail off. Ouch!
Tis kind of freaky the games they play and questions they ask sometimes.

Good luck with your TTC. Lets hope for a BFP for us all before too long and we start going mad

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Ell11 · 02/06/2010 20:06

Agreed - DC are funny! And we also get the occasional lie-in when they happily play with each other in their bedroom before disturbing us. Their favourite game (and you think pirates are bad...) is having babies. They stuff their naked dolls up their tops and take it in turns to be the doctor. Very disturbing! They are having more luck than me!

My nickname is very dull compared to yours - it's just a play on my real name with a significant number put after it (there seem to be a lot of 11's in my life).

My sister-in-law is TTC with a huge fibroid - consultant has said the same - get pg first as there could be complications during the op. She just wants to get rid of it though - it's really uncomfortable. She feels bloated most of the time. Do you suffer much with yours?

Original poster
whizzymummy · 02/06/2010 09:39

Ha ha, laughed when I heard you say that about snow white. My DS just want to be a pirate ? clearly a no brainer for a little boy!? Could he have at least picked a fireman or a builder that's a little less violent, but no after many months I have actually now given up ? he has four play swords and no guns but that?s no worry to him as he just makes them with lego! You can?t stop the tide?
You are so right we are lucky to have our DC, mine are SO funny. I love the age DD is at ? the talking is getting better all the time, humour starts to come into it and yet she?s still young enough to be stuck in her cot in the mornings so we can have a lie in he he
The irony of it is I actually I think I?ve had to use more self control NOT using ovulation kits or attempting to chart!! My consultant is pretty laid back about it all, obviously I see him to keep track of the fibroids and he knows we?re TTC. I get the impression he really doesn?t think anything is wrong which is why it?s more frustrating nothing is happening ? I feel like I need to DO something.
Must get on with my work now?

Love your way of making up the name sillybillymummy ? mine was similar. Set it up a few years ago and really couldn?t think what to put. All I could think was how completely frantic I was always running around the place so much to do, hence whizzy!
DS was a bum shuffler too and skipped the crawling part until he walked ? which was around 16-18 months (god how do I not remember that!?)

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Ell11 · 01/06/2010 22:45

Sillybillymummy- Mine are very different too- I feel like I have a girl and a boy sometimes as DD2 is not girly and princessy at all but DD1 wants to BE Snow White! And you're right, we are really fortunate to have 2 lovely children when some struggle to have just 1. It's good to remember that sometimes!

Ell11 · 01/06/2010 22:39

Thanks Whizzymummy! Your situation sounds so similar to mine! My DH also excited but would have happily stopped at 2... He also said that the thought of having a newborn worried him- it was really tiring for the first 6 months after #2 and he felt he lost his wife as I was just being a mummy. But that's all a while ago now and he loves being a dad.

Charting is not great for timing BD (is that the right acronym?! Don't even know what it stands for!) as your temperature rises after Ovulation which means it's probably too late by then. But I find it really helpful for knowing exactly when to expect my erratic AF. Last month I had a 37 day cycle and got all excited but got a BFN. Then had to wait 3 more days for AF. If I'd been charting I'd have known I was way too early to test. It helps me avoid disappointment.

Fertilityfriend.com has all the info if you want to give it a go. My doctor doesn't think it helps though as you don't 'relax and just let it happen naturally'. It doesn't seem to be happening naturally though so I gave in to the urge and got the thermometer out!

Night night ladies... sleep well!

sillybillymummy · 01/06/2010 22:37

Well i just put the old one in when i wasn't really 'into' mumsnet, i think i only signed up to sell my buggy! At the time, my chickens kept wondering onto my patio and pooping.. i now have them in a pen!
When i read my new name it makes me smile, because DS1 calls me this all the time when i'm acting like a clown! (which is quite often!)
Its just annoying now i can see us with 3... i just want to get on with it! i keep thinking... what if.. will it be a spring baby, or summer baby etc (i know in the whole scale of things i am lucky to have 2 happy healthy DC)
DD is a bum shuffler and theres no way she is walking anywhere anytime soon.. she has no interest! DS was walking really early, can't believe the difference.
Crossing my fingers for you lovely ladies

Ell11 · 01/06/2010 22:20

Good idea (changing nickname!)
Thanks- you might well be right about a bigger age gap. Sounds like your DH is not saying no- that's good! Hope your wait is not too long - better start giving DC2 some walking lessons!! Mine both started walking around 16 - 17 months.

sillybillymummy · 01/06/2010 22:18

Thanks Whizzymummy

Original poster
whizzymummy · 01/06/2010 22:10

Figured you'd changed it - like the new name too

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Original poster
whizzymummy · 01/06/2010 22:09

Hi Ell11 - lovely to have others join in! As you'll tell from reading the thread I know exactly how you feel! I had hoped I could have less than a three year age gap between #2 and #3 - well apart from wondering if #3 will even happen, if it does I'm nearly over my 3 year gap as DD is already over 2 years old. Also I don't have such a great success anyway with pregnancies, just crossing my fingers it happens soon and with no problems.
My DH took a while to be convinced of #3 as well - he's happy to stop at 2 but has come around to 3 only as he wants to make me happy so far as I can tell. Though that does sound a little unfair on him as he is excited too at the thought too, I just think he was happy to stop where we are as well. He also said for a long time the thought of another newborn made him tired - once DD was over 1 I think his memory faded a little and now that more time has passed it's certainly enough to give in!!
I have always wanted a big family but I am one of 5 and loved it - though I think even I would draw a line at 3.

How do you find the charting, does it help? Thought about it but not sure I should do it though as I started using ovulation kits about 6 months ago but stopped as I decided they stressed me out too much.. so now back to just tracking cycle length and EWCM.

Pine - know how you feel about baby clothes. Have myself steered away from ours, keep dumping them in the loft knowing one day I need to sort them out but not sure I can face it at the moment. Hope your DH comes around soon...
haribo I think I'll find I'll look for someone good to go see, I'm ready to try something new and anything relaxing is a plus.

Thanks everyone for chatting - must say it makes a difference to me finding other people in the same boat.

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sillybillymummy · 01/06/2010 21:54

i changed my nickname as i didn't realise its not meant to be real names etc..

sillybillymummy · 01/06/2010 21:37

Thanks Ell11, he said that when DD2 is walking he might feel like I could cope with another - he's a workaholic so i think part of his worry is that he hasn't even bonded / had time with DD2 yet, let alone think about another! - but is not like thats going to change, if anything he will have more responsibility and stress.

Ell11, like you said, i think its just a matter of time, hang on in there, i bet a bigger age gap will be really nice, now you are used to the 23mnt one.

Ell11 · 01/06/2010 21:09

My DD2 is 2 and a half - there's 23 months between them and I wanted the same sort of gap for the next one. Even if I get pg this month there'll be over 3 years between #2 and #3 but I don't want to give up!

I know how you feel- I took some baby clothes to friend with a 2 month old today and had a cuddle- she was gorgeous and I had pangs holding her. I'm sure it's just a matter of time...

It took my DH a long time to convince too and he's still not 100% on board really. We'd have to move and get a bigger car- he's worried we can't afford it. I think he eventually agreed cos he realised how much I've always wanted to be a mum of lots of children- I don't think I'd be able to push it to 4!

Pine- when your littlest is a bit older and more independent, your DH might be more receptive. I think that helped mine give in.

pinefarmpooperscooper · 01/06/2010 15:56

Hi Ell11 - wishing you luck also. How old is you #2. Mine is 16months and not walking yet, so still feels like a baby :-)

I went through the baby stuff in the loft last night to send to my sister, it all looks so small, i can't believe they ever fitted into.. I felt sick i want another so much! I can't understand my behaviour but i was almost crying! When i already have 2 healthy happy babies. Spoke to DH again, but he doesn't seem in any hurry to decide.

Ell11 · 01/06/2010 15:15

Hey there!
Can I join in too? I've been TTC no.3 for 9 months now. I'm 34 and also have a best friend who's pregnant and two others with new-borns. I'm beginning to lose the plot now and am obsessing daily. I've even started charting my temps which I did for DD1 (took over a year). DD2 came 3 months after an ectopic (1st month of trying with only one tube!). I definitely expected to be pg by now and didn't want a huge age gap - DD1 is starting school in sept.

I can't seem to just relax and let 'nature' do it's thing! Was looking on ebay a minute ago for early detection pg tests as I'm 7dpo and can't wait another week! My cycles have got longer and less regular and it's pretty much in my thoughts at all times.

Ahhhh... that's better! Needed to vent it!

Wishing you all the best of luck xxx

haribofan · 31/05/2010 23:05

whizzymummy Good for you in deciding to book an appointment. Ha ha, yes I'd book it for AF time too.

As for the accupuncture, I am enjoying it even though I'm not sure I believe in it iyswim! I really just want it for a while as you hear lots of positive stories. Your sister is obviously a great example. Have found a nice accupuncturist (is that a word) now. I just saw a leaflet of hers at the fertility clinic when I was doing the clomid cycles. When I phoned her, she said that three quarters of her clients are infertility patients. I can't say I love it but it is fairly pleasant to lie there and chat for a while and have a break from the DC etc! Before I went to this lady, I went to a male accupucturist once. Hated it, felt uncomfortable with everything- the room, him and worst of all he twisted the needles, some of which felt very uncomfortable. What a ramble, what I'm trying to say is maybe phone your local clinic and ask if they can recommend anyone or ask on here about your local area. And if you don't like it try someone else as they seem to vary!

Original poster
whizzymummy · 31/05/2010 20:50

Thanks pine nice to know I'm not the only one who likes to persist. That sounds horrible what you went through - suppose it goes to show you got to trust your instincts when it comes to your body as you know it better than anyone else.
I totally know where you're coming from with the prudent view like you say - have certainly felt like that in other areas of my life!

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pinefarmpooperscooper · 31/05/2010 20:33

whizzymummy Yes book the appointment fighting with the self control not to sound silly and keep going back when I clearly need some patience
You will not sound silly, like you said you want piece of mind, and the sooner you get that, the sooner you can get the show on the road.. whichever way it turns out. If only just to make you more relaxed, which might help ttc.
Don't worry one little bit what anyone else thinks. Just do whats right for you.
I have made this mistake in the past but not anymore. DS1 was horrendous birth, i got bad tears, and couldn't walk/sit without pain for 6 months (sex was out of the question completely, as was putting a tampon up there!)... i went back to see gp/registrar /consultant, many times and they kept saying it was normal, and atleast i had some control down there! (sorry long story), so i went to see someone private after 6 months (i kept giving it more time worrying they might think i was making a fuss about nothing) and when i finally went, he said i needed an op asap and operated that week! I was all healed and feeling better within a week and wishing i had gone sooner! So like you said, you have to try being proactive and really positive. Its the way forward for us from now on!
haribofan yes we might be, i always take a 'prudent' view! Secretly hoping that if i think the worse then i will be nicely surprised!

Original poster
whizzymummy · 31/05/2010 19:01

Well we're in the same boat, I'm nearly 34 as well. Like you say we also sound on the same wave length exactly!!
Some of my friends know we're TTC, ironically it's all the ones who are due a baby now. I'm very happy for them though, I never like seeing people have problems in this department, just as I said it's hard when it feels like salt in wounds and then they ask you all the time how it's going.

Am interested you do the accupuncture, sounds like you like it - how did you find someone? I tried it once, with morning sickness actually, and really hated it. Most likely it was just too hard to enjoy anything when I was feeling that sick (and it did no good either!). I've certainly thought of giving it a try again but didn't know where to start finding someone. Any suggestions?

Good luck with your IVF, you certainly sound in a good frame of mind. My sister has two babies from IVF and said the accupunture really helped her. Also both rounds were successful first time which I know is unusual.

Think I'll be booking myself an appointment to see consultant - probably just after AF is due to cheer me up and feel like I've got something to look forward too/be proactive about. Sad eh!

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