18, single & desperate for a baby?!

I've got one for sale if you like. Quite nice condition, only slightly used.

I'm now begining to hear tripp trapp, tripp trapp noises....

Working in a nursery 4 days a week is not the same as having a baby, and it's worrying that you think it would be.

I'm so sorry for your loss but having a baby is not going to fill that void. It's very hard, relentless work and will grind you down even further.

Wait a few years, have some fun in your life, be properly independent, settle down in a real relationship and then think about it. I will be easier and more fulfilling.

The bottle feeding of lambs happens a lot on farms, whatever your family set up.

Do I know you?

Aaahh steiner nursery eh?
Perhaps you could try here for help.

I thoroughly agree with the OP. About everything, whatever it is.

When I was 18 I really, really wanted a baby. In fact before I was 18 I really wanted a baby.
But I didnt have one. A year later I met my future DH and we waited until we felt the time was right to have DD, by which time I was nearly 24.

You can wait and have a baby and feel relieved that you waited, but you cannot unmake a baby once its here. Do you see what I mean?

I'm mostly nervous that you would choose to become a parent with a guy who you dont want a relationship with. What happens when he meets someone else? And wants to commit to her and he has kids with her? Can you honestly say you can trust that he'll stick around and give the same level of commitment to a child he produced with someone he didnt love and care for enough to be with them?

Hmmmm.

Are you an only child?

sorry 15, thought you were 17 for a moment!

not single does not equal happy relationship anyway, not in times gone by, and not now!

Can I just check you were 14 and he was 19 when you first got together? I know its not really relevant but I was just checking. I find it a little strange you'd consider having a baby together but not have a relationship

Yes, there are indeed other lifelines out there
And you work at a Stenier nursery you say?

A private college to do what?

You need to have some kind of fallback plan for when the money runs out, which it will, which means you need some kind of qualification.

A baby is not necessarily the answer, there are other life lines out there.

In times gone by an unmarried 18 year old would not even have been allowed to keep her baby.

yes fair point it is the single-ness not the age that is the potential problem.

PCG if you weren't to have a baby with W, you'd have to be very careful not to rush into a 'meaningful' relationship with someone else - it's easy to kid yourself IYSWIM.

mathsmad a single 18 yr old mum wouldn't have been the norm in times gone by !

Yes I thought the nursery job idea was a good one too.

What is your plan in the event that on having had the baby you ex decides it is too much effort and hard work and he can't be bothered to help you or he meets someone who he loves and wants to live with and have a child with and decides he doesn't owe you anything? (just incase you think oh he would never do that please bear in mind that men do this all the time and CSA are not very good at getting them to pay maintence and it's a very stressful process)

How easy do you suppose it is to go out and find another man who is willing to take you and a child that isn't his on?

How attractive do you think you will feel after having had a baby?

funny thing is, in times gone by, PCG would be the norm and anyone saying 'don't have a baby at 18' would be the crazy ones!

have to say, getting a job in a nursery might be a good idea

Pretty i would think long and hard about having baby with someone you're not with. I know lots of couples split up, but to choose it? If it wasn't working before you have a baby, it won't work when you do have one.

I'd take that place at college now if i were you. You might find that gives you a bit of happiness and fulfillment, and the chances of you having time to go to college once baby's arrived are pretty slim.

You say you have a place in a private college for when you want it ... but if you have a child you're not really going to have time to take it up, are you? Unless you can afford to pay a nanny to look after the child while you're at college.

I suppose what I'm saying is that by having a child now you will be cutting out a lot of other choices for your life - both for you and for the child.

All the advice you have had from people on this thread is that it would be much better for the child if you could wait till you've sorted things out with W (or got into a stable relationship with someone else). And it would also be much better to wait until your mental state has improved - not expect the baby to "fix" that.

Of course if you want to get pg now we can't stop you. All we can tell you is that that doesn't seem to us to be the best decision for you or for your child.

I meant your Extended family what lives on the farm.

This one