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Conception

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Original poster

How did you arrive at a decision to have a baby?

31 replies

Lizita · 06/08/2005 19:15

Might sound like an odd question, but my dd was a complete accident and I had never intended to have children either. (So glad it happened now though, of course )

I can't imagine having the courage to decide to have a baby. Even now I've already got one, I can't imagine it, I just can't imagine wanting to go through it all again, for starters! Plus, none of my close friends have children or plan to have them in the near future, they all seem to be hanging for dear life onto their freedom, jobs etc etc, not to mention relationships!!

when planning your first baby, did you have a rosy view of what it would be like (and I'm talking about pregnancy/labour/first few months now - that in itself was enough to put me off, before I got pregnant!)?
Trying to think of other questions to clarify what I mean but I can't, just let me know how you arrived at the decision and how you overcame any trepidation ...

OP posts:
swiperfox · 06/08/2005 19:26

I also hate hospitals, hate doctors, hate bloodtests etc but once you are pregnant it has to be done so i just went with it!

Have you thought about having a baby at home?

swiperfox · 06/08/2005 19:25

It's only scarier because it was unexpected. It's not the best time to be having another because we're in a financial mess!
I had my first by emergency caesarean so my second was a planned caesarean and it was wonderful!! I knew exactly when he was going to be born so i was able to be calm and organised!
I think once you've had the first you realise what an amazing thinkg it is and tht makes it easier to have another because you know what to expect

PeachyClair · 06/08/2005 19:24

Don't know- wanted one so did it! Looking back it was odd, as we had only known each other a short time (six months, together for three) though we were living together and engaged (!!!!)
but someohow it seemed right.

I had the most awful (well ranking up there anyway) PG with Hyperemesis and then pre-eclampsia, then when DS was 5 months I felt an overwhelming desire to do it again (I think now I was looking for closure on a traumatic time). Five months after DS was born I got the cravings angain, but resisteed until DS2 was nearly three, then went for it. Broody again at five months, resisted again, would like one more one day but we will see.

Six and a bit years on from initial decision we're still together, though it's been ahrd. I'd like to think we're together for rever, but if not then I won't regeret it- love my kids to bits, couldn't imagine or want ife without them, always wanted to be a Mother.

Original poster
Lizita · 06/08/2005 19:21

So it is scarier this time round IF you are? Scary (make that terrifying) though it was for me, I imagine it being scarier to plan another...or maybe it's just that it would be 2nd time round and you know what's coming!
But then, as i said, my main reason for never intending to have kids was fear, almost phobic...yes it was phobic, of hospitals etc...

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 06/08/2005 19:20

I was told I'd never have children, so figured that I should set about trying to prove them wrong as soon as possible

DS took a while to conceive, and we decided to try again when he was one, since we knew we wanted more than one child (we're both from families of three and love having siblings - mostly ). I fell pg immediately, which was a bit of a shock, but a very welcome one!

I always have a rosy view of what things will be like - I'm either v optimistic or terminally stupid! But DS is a lovely child, even at 16mo, he's a really good companion and we spend lots of time laughing at things, so I guess I'm lucky - I'm scared the second one will be "difficult"!!

swiperfox · 06/08/2005 19:18

Hiya With my first, we planned it because I had always wanted children. There was never a point when I could see my life with no children in it. Ds was planned because I wanted dd to have a brother or sister because i was an only child until i was 13 and hated it.
If I'm pregnant again now, it was purely an accident and a little scary as I thought I was finished!!!