BabyHoping - I've been doing everything I can to reduce stress and its been a big learning path for me. I'm not totally without stress now, but I am having a lot more happy good days than I did before. These are my tips (long reply because I really could have used this advice myself a couple of months back, so hoping it helps you hun). I was too stressed to 'think positive' - but I am beginning to feel properly hopeful again as my stress levels slowly get better.
1/ Go and see a nutritionist. A really good healthy diet will help stabilise your hormones which will help your stress levels and will also possibly help you be very healthy when you get your BFP
2/ Ask the nutritionist about supplements to take, which may be tailored to your circumstances. For example, I've had two MCs and I am vegetarian. So I have been advised to take fish oil capsules 3x a day, vitamin e oil once a day, CoQ10 once a day and to change my TTC multivitamin to a different brand which I have to take 3x a day as well. I was told some brands are much better than others so I've been guided which good brands to take.
3/ Even if all the above is a placebo, there is something stress-reducing just in having this control: planning proper meals and feeling you are doing the best you can with proper advice.
4/ It is impossible to be stressed and relaxed at the same time so take up a very relaxing exercise. I do pilates once a week - wish I could do more but can't afford - and at the end of each class I am so stretched and relaxed. I try and focus on what that feels like and do a few stretches at home if I feel myself getting wound up again.
5/ I have had acupuncture a couple of time, but can't say I find it hugely relaxing - I see it as more 'medical'. What is very good though with acupuncture, is you get lots of time to talk to someone who has experience with other people just like you, and that helps (unlike the zero time you get with your GP or NHS health people!).
6/ I go for reflexology once a month and I do enjoy that.
7/ I have almost totally given up booze and caffiene and this is HUGE! This means I am sleeping a lot better now, which means I getting more rest - and more rest means more energy to cope with stress. Having managed to break this habit - it was HARD - I have an added stress-reducing boost in that that tiny thought at the back of my head (is drinking affecting TTC) is now gone. However, I will allow myself a glass of wine if I am out for a meal, and same for caffienated coffee. And I don't miss it the way I thought I would.
8/ Do something regularly with your DH that is not about TTC. I have taken up running with him. I am cr*p at it, but it means we go out 3x a week, away from the house, and out in the pretty outside. DH is loving the break from the stress and hassle.
9/ A hard physical exercise has worked for me as well because I have to concentrate so hard on keeping going that the LAST thing I am thinking about is TTC ... and that is a big change for me. And I feel so good afterwards - relaxed, not stressed - and psychologicaly, I tell myself my body is getting strong to manage being PG and birth.
10/ Running has also given me DIFFERENT goals to TTC. I get very excited when I manage just a bit further and this counter balances the soul-destroying endless negative feelings tha come from BFN.
11/ I've also started charting my cycles. I find this reasuring even though I know it can stres others out. I am happy when I see my temps doing what they should, and the chart confirming the CBFM, etc etc
12/ Seriously look at your work load and reduce the stress. I work for myself so cannot allocate tasks to others, but I have become very strict about saying NO, and I walk away from my PC at the end of the day instead of work long hours etc etc. If I worked for someone else, I would take my boss to one side and have a chat. It isn't that you won't be doing your job, but you should only be doing what is fairly your tasks, and you should not be taking on extra stress. Tell him/her that from now on you do what you get paid for, but cannot, at this time in your life, carry on at the pace you are - tell him/her, its dr's orders. If they get snotty, change jobs or take your DH's advice hun. The thing is, if other things start helping you may actually find work isn't as stressful as it used to be and you can cope better.
babyhoping - all of this sounds like a lot to do and take on - but you should know that up until a few months ago I had done ZERO exercise for about 12 years; I skipped meals every day; I drank a couple glasses of wine at night; I worked longer hours than anyone I have ever met before (I swear that's the truth). I promise you: if I can do it, so can you. And I promise you it makes a difference. I'll be your buddy if you want ... and don't stress yourself about de-stressing either with all these things to think ... one day at a time and only as much as you can manage or afford to do. x