30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

I feel sorry for Gordo too, his wretched day's gone from bad to worse hasn't it! He spent over an hour at the bigoted woman's house late afternoon apologising. Like he didn't have stuff to do, poor bastard.

I dunno. I did used to hate him but I've definitely softened on him. His other gaffe, with that military mother and him miswriting the name, then it transpiring that he handwrites all those letters despite not being able to see billy-o -well, I respected him for that. And I do think Cameroony is a twat, and I think the Tories are putting up a shockingly poor campaign.

Pah. Who knows.

Head I secretly love you a bit after that revelation. My belly is still so hung over after DS that I'm not sure I COULD check my fanjo at my desk

Day 27 tomorrow, let the menkulness continue. Have been tired, grumpy and ravenously hungry the last two days but tbh that sums me up half the time anyway, so who can say?! Will be PingOAS Sat a.m. if no droid cometh before then as have practical day at college with the pelvis and need to let tutor know if tis a yes... guaranteed to put me in a right bad mood for the day!!

I'm no fan of his and I certainly won't be voting Labour (down here it's a completely wasted vote. Cornwall is all gold!) but that picture of him with his head in his hands makes me want to pat him consolingly and tell him I appreciate how hard he works. No one can deny he's had colossal bad luck and the press in this country are so utterly bitchy and negative, it almost makes me want to bring in censorship. The Mail are having an absolute field day. Do you know, I actually regularly post on their horrid little message boards, purely to tell them what twats they are. Sometimes they even publish them. It's interesting - you should try it. Make a really reasonable, well-informed comment and see how many red arrows you get from the the UKIP BNP brigade. Tis sport.

Marzipan is the food of Satan. Along with sprouts and meringue.

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?

Scrofulous are you mad? Marzipan is delish.

Good to see you're feeling better.

Has anyone heard from Gin?

God, I never thought I'd say this but I feel so sorry for Gordon Brown

Your Needles Woman sounds ace, Pet. Where do you live? I want her.

Oh heads you really are a wronger. But that's we love you.

Seriously Cass, I was actually seated in my office, WITH THE DOOR OPEN, wanted to go to the loo to check my gusset for droid-bleeping, saw someone else was in there and thought, feckitall, and went for it. No mean task when you're wearing a top tucked into your waistband AND Sloggi pants AND opaque tights.

None of this is endearing, is it?

When you say work pencil do you actually mean work, or is it just more fiddling with yourself under the desk??

Welcome grumpty You're depressingly new to the game but if you pass me some marzipan cookies I'll overlook it.

'Fairy scented rainbow poo'

I think I like you.

Now STOP IT everyone I have WORK to do. The world isn't going to administer itself you know!

How old am I? A lady should never let on her true age... but I'm no lady, so I'm happy to tell you that I'm 33. Not quite over the hill, but old enough to start obsessing about how I'm going to fit in baby, further study and career (fucked around for ages before retraining in my present career and don't want to spoil it all by spending the next 5 years at home developing a mushy brain and unable to talk about anything except how my darling lickle snowflake angel produced another fairy-scented rainbow poo).

Hmm, not sure now that I should be here - life would certainly be easier as a career-obsessed barren hag

Why weren't you sacked?

Yes, how old are you Grumps? (Not ganging up honest.)

I'm 2WOOFL-ing too. I don't feel remotely, well, anything really. Had a stare at boobs this morning to see if I could detect blue veins. No. The alcohol question the other day was utterly self deluding. Bit headachey, but that's because I need some fresh air. I'm so not diffed. Nothing to see here. Move on.

MARZIPAN COOKIES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!

Hint: we here call it the 2WOOFL, ie, the two weeks of obsessive fucking lunacy. You have my sympathies. Last 2WOOFL I was rummaging in my fanjo for evidence of the droid whilst, crucially, at my desk.

How old are you, Grumpyknickers?

I'm not normally that bouncy (hence the name). But I'm at the very tail end of a 2WW and going slightly menkul. Also, am working from home today, which is why I'm able to eat cake for lunch and bounce around inappropriately. (Sorry, the cake's all gone. But I'll bring round some marzipan cookies next time I make them.)

Will try to think of some really inappropriate crushes. God, you wenches are hard on me.

Crushes not inappropriate enough grumps. We already have Charlie and David imprisoned as barmen/pit slaves. Welcome! (Did you bring any of that cake?)

it's looking good, grumperina but you might want to try looking a bit less eager. You know, play it cool...

Well? Am I in? Please, please, pretty please?

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   Natch. Especially Hendricks. And even more especially in a martini.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   Technically, the latter. But that's all I have in common with Courtney Cox, I promise you.

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
   Sorry, the tumtum's full of cake at the moment. And that got in there through another hole altogether...

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
   Ooh, definitely (a), as (b) makes me want to vomit. (Hey, do you think this could be morning sickness? Should I POAS??)

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   Is this a chemistry test, or what?

6. what colour are your walls?
   Apparently, 'Treacle Tart 2' and 'Melon Sorbet'. Tried licking them: they don't taste as good as the names suggest.

7. Number of pets?
   Do books count?

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   Charlie Brooker. (Or is that not inappropriate enough?) Er, Tim Roth? David Mitchell?? Stephen Fry???

9. Lesbian crush?
   Nigella Lawson. Or Marina Hyde. Yes, I'm a typical Guardian reader, I'm afraid.

10. What are your views on camping?
    Not for nothing do my best friends call me a 'gin-raddled fag hag'. (Oh, wait - you mean TENTS?! Not a chance, matey.)

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing sticks
    So far, only about £15. But I've only been at this for a month so far. Give it another few weeks and I'll be dealing crack at the school gates to feed my POAS habit.

Don't worry, I've passed the first test by locating the test! Answers in a mo.

And no, I'm not a name-changing BESH

Something in Grumpy's manner leads to me to suspect she is a name-changing BESH

Is it even on this thread? . You may want to look back at the previous BESH threads, especially the Buzwamcam one, where it's towards the end of the thread.

grumperina welcome, please locate and complete the BESH qualification quiz