30s TTC - Our BESH GussetWatch Ever, With Guest Star Joe Mangel!

How odd. As it turned out, I too had sausages.

Thank you all . Hope my shockingly fast diffment rubs off on all of you. Personally, I'm feeling a bit grumpy about it all, as had hoped to stay here a bit longer, not to mention all the lost opportunities to swill gin like the crazed harridan that I am.

Ocarina: hope the sausages have some sort of symbolically phallic effect

Yay Eeyore, congratulations! That was definitely fast BESHwork. So who's POASing next? Aries and Cass? - could make the three.... (not forgetting Polly, just conveniently ignoring her temporarily to try and get as many diffments as poss. Because of course that's how it works).

Oh and I had sausages for tea too.

I think this calls for more POAS action tomorrow. Aren't these meant to come in threes?

is that the shortest move from questionnaire to diffment evah? You belong in the Deli over on ante-natal grumps. Look for the PESH.

And congratulations.

You're diffed???????????????????????????! You dark, dark horse. Congratulations!

OK, so I thought I might have been ostracised following my unwise admission about Neil Kinnock , but I'm going to give this one last go. Following POAS action yesterday, I am apparently now updiffed (if that is the right terminology), so am I allowed to stay in here? Or do I get kicked out to somewhere more twee? I may not be a BESH any more, but I'm still an ESH...

I like the newb Georgecarey

I second the proposal for sausages. Had em at lunch in my Xtreme BBQ (TM) and now contemplating leftover ones in a toastie with more mozarella. Oh yes indeedy.

I'm sure there was another question somewhere. Are you a) ginger and b) anal about punctuation? I would add spelling too but for the gentile incident last night.

Muse that sounds very healthy and delicious. I think I'll have the same.

hola chiquitas, here is my questionnaire - I hope it's everything you hoped it would be

1. Do you like gin? (This is compulsory, you must say 'Yes')
   I?m a sucker for G&T?s, the husband won my heart with his way with Tanqueray.

2. Men - are you a gold digger or a cradle snatching cougar?
   A proper cougar ? snatched my man up at the age of 19, I was 24, it was hot. Sort of.

3. Baybee-making - to put a baybee in your tumtum, which hole do you use:
   a) weewee
   b) poopoo
   c) foofoo
   d) none, you just pray to the baby Jebus.
   Haha, according to some people you do some strange kind of ritual called a baby dance (like a rain dance per chance?) and then sprinkle yourself with babydust and hope for the best. Or else you kidnap a stork. And sacrifice it at the alter of the god of baybee giving.

4. Testing - when someone wonders if they should test for updiff (pg), do you:
   a) bellow 'POAS!' at them non-stop and punch them repeatedly in the kidneys till they wet themselves anyway.
   b) Sprinkle them with babydust and send them hugs and kisses on lickle baby angel wings.
   a for sure. What the fuck is babydust ? ground up babies? Sounds gross.

5. Is R2D2:
   a) an adorable robot from Star Wars.
   b) the source of all evil.
   or c) C3PO?s bitch.

6. what colour are your walls?
   Generic neutral mud coloured

7. Number of pets?
   Just the mould in the veg drawer- I?m pretty sure it?s alive.

8. Inappropriate (read: weird) crush of shame?
   Jon Snow- clever and funny socks, winning combo. Billy Joel ? please don?t ask me why.

9. Lesbian crush?
   That chick off Total Wipeout ? H.O.T. hot ? and a bit mean ? perfect.

10. What are your views on camping?
    Only with lots and lots of booze. And sedatives. And a hotel. Or if SH forces me (shudders)

11. How much money have you spent on sticks you then urinate on?
    i) Oh nothing, I'll probably catch first time and then get the doctor to confirm it.
    ii) Over 100 quid
    iii) I opened an account on ebay solely for the purpose of purchasing stick

Much too much, much too young. Still not had a positive OPK ? think I got ripped off. Stoopid internet crap. Resisting buying more - not sure how long I can hold out...

Sossidges. I am having sossidges for tea. And cake.

Hail? Bloody hell! Has been beautiful here all day . Apart from the screaming northerly gale that is. What shall I have for tea? I'm a shit cook and don't feel at all like food at the moment.

Well, I had my BBQ, despite the rain and HAIL! We ate indoors but the food was lovely. Went out for a nice walk along the canal by our house in the afternoon as sun came out; then had to shelter under a bridge during another hailstorm.

No sign of droid. A bit of backache. Very little in the pantsnot arena to bore you with today. Who can say. If nothing will POAS in the morning.

Me want chocolate cake.

Maybe I shall share it. Although it is MrM's belated birthday cake.

We had a very lovely weekend away, with much boozing. We also got to have a little heart to heart in the pub on the Friday night. Where I got to do my "it's so fucking unfair" bit and he got to as well. I am firmly in the angry mode again about all the crapness. And seeing so many lovely folk here go through crapness makes me even more angry. It's just so unfair!

Then we drank lots more wine until it all went away. And David Walliams was in our hotel on Saturday night for an art show.

mmmmm, chocolate cake

Due to the lack of POAS action I am baking a chocolate cake. What else can you do on a bank holiday?

Gah, you two and your self control, it's spoiling the fun for the rest of us!

OK so in reality I'm just jealous as I suspect to pee or not to pee isn't a question I'm going to face in the near future. Temp dropped this morning despite only being 6DPO (if ff is to be believed and I'm not entirely convinced) so although I'm still analysing the soreness of my boobs and wondering why I'm feeling so knackered (oh, and having really weird dreams) it's in vain hope rather than expectation.

So, what's everyone else up to this bank holiday? I've thus far managed to combine working with a trip to Tesco, then promptly forgot I'd been shopping and left everything in the car for an hour. Fortunately there wasn't that much frozen stuff but still.....

Ah, Casserole. Interestingly like me. Cannot summon the courage to POAS in case it's negative. You know the compulsive pissers on sticks? I am a compulsive non-pisser.

Day 29 in the Aries house. Aries has interesting nauseous sensations. But at the same time those regular and tell-tale stabs of rage at the most insignificant things. I actually had to go and sleep in the spare room last night because DH's breathing was annoying me so much . I am thinking nothing. Nothing at all. Until three more days down the line.

Snogs to you Tinkerbell (Fairy...Tinkerbell...get it? Might call you Wendy or Michael next time). Glad some others turned up your thread who knew more than me.

We are heading back home after a lovely weekend. My bank holiday Monday will be quiet due to massive overindulgence the rest of the weekend.

Definitely ask for results in writing Fairy. They'll do that for you and it'll be good to have on hand.

I'm sure you can show up as a couple; what are they going to do about it?! I went in a couple of times with DS1 for stuff about breastfeeding when I wasn't sure if the problem was him or me...

I'd say then go in yourself next week, get as much detail as you can, if they won't give it you get CH to ring up and ask for it then talk to nice GP on 27th about it all - including referral to urology if appropriate.

It's now raining here. I don't care, the meat is going on the BBQ in an hour!!!

Well, the GP he spoke to has just left the practice! Didn't even know that until I made an appointment. So I have an appointment with some new geezer next Thursday, because I wanted to get the FC ball rolling. But to be honest, neither of these is our regular GP, who is amazing and therefore super popular, and he has sent us for tests in the first place (we go to others not to have 2 month gaps each time) and I have a previous appointment with him on May 27th (made a month ago, that's how popular he is) for something else, so I may just use that appointment to drag the hubby in and chat more. He knows us for years so I thought he'd be the best one to talk to. Can you just show up as a couple to the GP's to an appointment one of you made?

You are right about the time to process: the more I think about it the more I think urologist is worth it.

Perhaps I should wait till May 27th. I don't know, I just made this earlier appointment after the GP said:"Tell your wife to make an appointment next week".

Anyway, I am going into too much detail and menkuling here. Forgive me all. I will now dissapear into the world of books and stop bothering innocent BESHies who I am sure just want some gin of a bank holiday Monday. Workers unite and all.

Big kicks.

I would just ask them to write the results down, say that you find it hard to digest stuff instantly and would like the chance to be able to read it through again later. Which is true, anyway!

I think that would defntely be helpful - both in terms of ascertaining how bad it is but also exactly what it is. Then you can google with a bit more informity (tho I don't think that's actually a word...)

Will it be the same GP next week and will CH be with you? Might be worth just checking that they will give YOU HIS results - data protection and all that shiz. Just in case they're a bit fuckwitted about that sort of thing. Would hate for you to go expecting to be able to get them and be disappointed. Perhaps CH could ring up and ask for them over phone before you go, then you can google beforehand and then ask any questions you've got when you're there?

What day are you there? Just so we can remember to ask you how it went...

Oooh, technotechnotechno. I lived in Germany at the time. Imagine the amount of techno there. Almost as much as menkul now.

No advice on the spunk side yet. Though I could use some advice: how do you get them to give you exact results? They, as in GP, didn't give them to the CH, and we just had a chat and he said:"What use would it do anyway?" To me it would make a huge difference knowing just how bad it is! Well, I'll insist when I see the GP next week, but CH almost felt I was being unreasonable .

POAS tomorrow Casster! I will be chanting it to the techno tune! Well, you can't call it a tune really...

Sorry, not that I'd be telling these friends tonight, obviously. Just been dreading having to At Some Point if we manage it before they do, given that they are blatantly miles ahead in the rightful baybee winning queue.

I'm going to wait until 2more; I feel too fragile to take a BFN today and that's probably what it would get, not being first thing in morning and all that. Have sent the H out to Tescos to buy some for tomorrow (along with MEAT MEAT MEAT) so just the act of purchasing will almost certainly alert the droid to begin beeping.

Our friends are coming round tonight who have been TC for over a year now. I almost want droid to come so I don't have to tell them we're pg. It's only been 8 months for us, plus we have DS, so our worst case scenario is nothing like theirs (and most of yours).

They've just had tests that have shown he has sperm but not great looking ones (their words) - any advice? Read earlier about no caffeine, booze and know about zinc etc. Any other things you've been told I can pass onto them tonight?

Right. Must hoover.

menkulmenkulmenkulmenkul (to tune of technotechnotechnotechno, for those old enough)

Big slaps with hunks of charred beef to the lot of ya.